Oh my goodness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcx6UbMCtfI

 

It is from blade at the end of the movie one of deacon frost's cronies says it.

 

I have to admit. That was one of the more amusingly "Wtf?" inducing necros in recent memory.

 

Been thinking about the end-chain of quests for the Dragon Crisis as I create a framework for a Skyrim story, and well... in-game it's fucking convoluted, innit?

Go get an Elder Scroll to go and watch through a rip in time the only Shout capable of taking on Alduin, and then fight him for a brief period of time before he runs away, and then capture his second in command so that he'll promise to take you to a secret mountain temple fortress, where you then have to go through a portal to Sovngarde, then you fight your way to the Hall of Valor and then back out to take on Alduin with only three heroes. And that's without you know, forcing a truce between the Imperials and the Stormcloaks.

I've been trying to figure a way to short-cut it or compress it, but I'm stumped so far. Help?

 

Plus if your character picked a side in the civil war they don't have to forge a truce. By the time I had gotten there in the main quest I had already wiped out the storm cloaks.

 

Nah, I already expanded on the truce between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials and gave some more reasoning behind it besides "Dragons are hampering our troop movements, lol". Think Dragon Cults and the dead walking topside.

Edit:
I just realized something. Your crime in Skyrim starting out is "crossing the border". Except, as Ralof says, he and his band of Stormcloaks were caught near Darkwater Crossing, an ambush you also were captured in.

....

What border did you cross to get punished with decapitation? Because the only excuse I could think of is the Stormcloak-Imperial front between Eastmarch/Riften & Falkreath/Whiterun and there's a war going on so there's suspicion of you being a Stormcloak, but even that's hard to swallow considering you cross that thing like millions of times during the course of the game, even if you don't partake in the civil war quest. And well, you're dressed in freakin' rags.

 

By crossing the border between Imperial and Stormcloak territory while near the Stormcloaks, they could be lumping you in with them. As a percieved Stormcloak, crossing the border is a crime, whereas it's perfectly fine for the ordinary adventurer they see you as during gameplay to wander wherever.

Closest explanation I can think of.

The truth, however, is probably that somebody broke the dragon again, and everything went all timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly on the dragonborn's ass.

 

I find it more likely that you passed into Skyrim from Cyrodiil or Morrowind, so pick either the Pale Pass or the one southwest of Riften, depending on where you had him going.

 

They're obviously referring to the actual border between provinces, likely the Cyrodiil-Skyrim Border, as no one gives a fuck about the Dunmer and their Velothi hellhole now that their gods are dead - plus, it's too far away from Helgen. Hammerfell is also a valid possibility.

 

I've started playing Dead is Dead runs. It makes the game ten times more engaging, especially when coupled with unique builds or playstyles. The only problem is that playing the same style of character over gets dull quickly.

Any ideas for interesting challenge runs or character builds? I've tried things like the pacifist playstyle, unarmed, pure classes, etc.

That fucking Wounded Frostbite Spider.

 

Be a crocodile.

Start as Argonian. You can't consume stamina unless you're in a river/lake. You can't talk to anyone unless it is quest essential - so no purchases, sales, or misc. quests. You can't use shields, magic, or two handed weapons.

 

Dat mod: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=78167272&searchtext=raptor

Argonian brofeet.

 

Either one of those explanations would work... if Ralof hadn't explicitly said you walked right into that Imperial ambush alongside them and the horse-thief, which again, was at Darkwater Crossing, which is in the Eastmarch Hold. Sense, this makes little.

Might decide to ignore it and place them in Falkreath doing guerilla stuff instead. I'm working an amnesia Shezzarine angle anyway, so throwing him at the Shrine of Talos massacre and then have him fleeing in the night only to walk into Alt! Falkreath! Ambush as the start of the story.

 

Horsethief was on the way to Hammerfell. Unless we're accepting as a rule that Lokir was retarded and had never seen a map before, there's no indication that we were caught at Darkwater with Ulfric. Helgen appears to have a road leading into Cyrodiil, though.

Granted, I haven't played the game in months and don't have a transcript of the conversation, but there's no other interpretation that even pretends to make sense.

 

Hammerfell is Southwest of Skyrim. Going from Darkwater crossing through Falkreath and then Hammerfell is going Southwest.

 

Here is a map of Skyrim.

Here is a map of Tamriel.

Darkwater is on the wrong side of Skyrim for anyone to try to escape to Hammerfell. Unless we're accepting Lokir as retarded, he wasn't escaping towards Hammerfell from Darkwater.

 

Unless he was running from Riften. I mean, there aren't many choices of where to run from Skyrim. Either to Morrowind (otherwise known as a wasteland), Cyrodiil (where the Empire is still in control) or west to Hammerfell/High Rock.

 

... I'm not seeing what you're seeing. I'm seeing a horsethief taking a southwest approach from Eastmarch into Falkreath and then Hammerfell. How is that retarded?

Unless you're suggesting he ran north from Riften? I kinda saw it more as him going south from Windhelm's stables after stealing a horse from there, following the river on it's east side before taking the crossing, where he got caught up in the ambush.

 

I'm saying that this map of Skyrim is 12 equal squares wide, and that the distance from Darkwater to the border with the nearest part of Hammerfell is six of them - so, roughly halfway across the province. Morrowind is much closer, and as there's more or less no rule of law in Vel's land, it seems like anyone who is presented with the choice of crossing the province on a stolen horse or going west for a few hours who chooses the former would have to be retarded.