Title: Enemy of the Grail
Author: Aeondragon
Rating: Fanfiction rating: T
Genre: Adventure
DLP Category: The Alternates
Pairing: Non as of yet
Status: WIP (Only 16.000 words)
Summary: Almost ten years ago, Harry Potter vanished from his home. He arrives at Hogwarts three years late, in an explosion of fire and death, accompanied by a blonde swordswoman. The War will begin, and it will change everything. Basically from what I can tell it's Saber and Harry traveling around the world killing people who the grail summon heroic spirts to. It's a Harry Potter / Fate Stay Night crossover

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8281963/1/Enemy-of-the-Grail

It is actually quite good. But it has very slow updates or it’s been on hiatus and has just started up again.
I don’t think the grammar is all that bad, but I’m not the best to grade that so sorry if it’s actually horrible.
The story isn’t all that long so we haven’t gotten all that long into the story just yet, but it’s got quite a few good fighting scenes.
Harry is maybe a little too strong since he has this Reality Marble, though obliviously since its Fate Stay Night, children or teens can actually be pretty strong.
First time posting…..

 

It's perhaps a bit too early to put it up for review, it should probably be in the Almost Recommended thread instead, at least that's how I would judge the quality so far.
The writing isn't terrible, and the premise has some potential. I noticed only a few errors, mostly it's just a bit clumsy e.g. word repetition, verbalising things that should be implicit.
The biggest problem with the fic is that it's not Harry, but Shirou (or perhaps Archer) with a name change. The distorted thing in the AN's made me cringe a bit, I've never liked how that term is used, always seemed like a poor translation to me, and it shows a lack of originality.

 

And here I thought this was going to be a Supernatural crossover. False advertising!

 

The writing is... clunky. Abrupt. Several spelling mistakes in the first paragraphs. Still above average for fanfiction, though.

Harry's apparently "broken" and "distorted" because he doesn't care about random people. Looking into his super eyes you can tell he's not normal. Really, author, really?

Combat seems to be Harry spewing emerald light lightning from his fingertips ad infinitum. Reality Marble that makes little sense and being capable of fighting Servant one to one? Sure, bub. Incarnation, too? He's about the most overpowered human magus in Nasuverse.

Dumbledore's retarded. Sigh. Of the jump-into-conclusions evil!manipulative!variety. Elder Wand > Saber's A-rank Magic Resistance? An attempt to 'balance' the worlds, still unrealistic. Tried to explain more in later chapters. Slightly more plausible now.

Wizards are "stuck up isolationist weirdoes" and "incapable of anywhere near the magical output of even low level magi". HP wizards are losers, and will be bashed.

The author's notes tell way, way too much about the story. The fact that he has to tell what's happening in his notes instead of the actual story is ridiculous.

Like OP says, the story is essentially Harry and Saber traveling the world, killing Servants and Masters. Harry's not Harry Potter but a mix between Archer and Kiritsugu. At least the author has a good rudimentary understanding of Nasuverse.

Eh. A bit too short, but I think there's enough to rate the material.

3/5.

And what the heck does that SPN in the thread title mean?

 

Sorry Cyclops - It's been changed now.

 

I don't think it should have been posted at all.

While I think that the basic idea with Harry summoning a servant has a lot of potential, this one didn't manage to make anything of it. Instead this story combines elements of badly written super!Harry with badly written independend!Harry spiced with some not overly well made FSN elements.

The author claims to power up everyone to allow for more awesome battles. That's rubbish. Both FSN and F/Z had quite a few awesome and writeable battle scenes. The chapter with Harry entering Hogwarts indicates that the intention of the author is rather to make wizards look even stupier and weaker, with only Dumbledore able to affect Saber - and even that only a little.

The whole setup with 'wizards' as seclusive 'mutants' is a really bad attempt at combining both worlds. Of course the author needs to use his fantasy to adjust both worlds a bit if he really wants to merge them, and this brute force attempt to combine the worlds shows that fantasy is the thing the author really lacks. The same goes for the Dursley abuse as a trigger for the summoning and the resulting non-caring!Harry.

2/5

 

I don't get it. How does an abusive childhood turn Harry into Shirou-level fucked up? This looks like just another super!Indy!Harry crossover with the usual wizard!bashing. I'll give it a 2/5 for being readable and an interesting premise.

 

You know the same thing I do. The story is written since it would be cool. Clear sign of trash when things are added because they are cool instead of proper logic and plot.

Also I refuse to read this story on the grounds of Saber dating Harry. I am willing to rate it due to that though.

 

This rec is a joke right? It has to be, the story has no redeeming qualities, it is bad ideas piled on top of worse ones, all stabbing a half-decent idea in the chest with a dull knife.

Its terribleness is apparent halfway through the first chapter, and nothing in the first two made me even remotely interested. All this is compounded by bland writing with errors that should have been fixed in the rough draft.

I don't see how it could possibly be worth more than 1/5. If you aren't desperate for something HP/FSN, there is nothing here worth speaking of.