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Another Luna. I would say this one is closer to what I consider canon, but that’s just personal preference. A nice story that seems like it fits the world well.

 

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Huh, another Luna story. I quite liked this. Is it set in HBP, with Harry staying at the Weasley's? I've always thought that would be a good start to a Harry/Luna fanfic, honestly. I've very nearly written something like that myself.

While there's not much to this in terms of plot, you've got a ton of neat little touches that I quite like: 'he was nearly always right if she tried hard enough', 'the scent of issue forty-five'... Technical writing is excellent.

Could use a little more plot, I think: a little more difficulty in finding the snidget, or in finding Harry, really. For that matter I don't know if Luna would actually spend Christmas hols at Hogwarts. It seems like she'd be the type to stay with her dad, no? She'd be in Ottery St. Catchpole like the Weasley family. Then again it's not set in Hogwarts, which is obviously the point of the prompt.

Also, it feels like you're playing a little coy with who her new friend is. I don't think it adds too much, honestly.

4/5.

 

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A bit heavy handed on the issue of a kinda-but-not-really mysterious friend, but I guess that's fine. When you have only one, i guess the acquisition of the second is indeed a big deal. The care for her bed, hygiene and such suches is a neat way to show us Luna and her way of proccessing things, but I had a feeling that it dragged on too much. Once I've read it all, I realized it wouldn't made sense to trim it simply because there's isn't more content to fill the holes that would've been left behind.

I found your story excellent on all accounts but there's a question in my head that I cannot get around. It doesn't really feel like a story. A snippet of someone's internal monologue, an extract from the diary, a lovely little guide on the flow of the thoughts of someone who isn't completely there. There's no plot as such and for me personaly it takes the edge from this, the edge writing gave to your story in the first place simply because it is excellent.

Really divided feelings :/

Excellent though.

But -

I could go in circles forever.

 

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Random observation: I was vaguely reminded of the novella that Patrick Rothfuss wrote years ago as an accompaniment to the Kingkiller books.

Anyway. This isn't bad at all. It feels in character, there's some lovely little character and world touches - the bed growing to accomodate Luna's growth spurt is delightful - and it's a nice little concept. Technically solid even apart from those nice little moments.

The bit that's sticking for me is the ending, but I can't quite put my finger on why though.

"Just two then," she said.

I feel like I'm being thick here, but I can't get my head round what she's getting at here. Acknowledging that Hermione is not her friend? That feels like the most obvious thing, but that's already covered. A callback to Harry being her second friend seems like another obvious reading, but there isn't really any emotional heft to that; she doesn't feel like she's doubting his friendship, given the last lines, so...I don't know. Like I say, I feel like I'm being really thick, and/or massively overthinking it.

 

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I have to say, first off, that my opinion of this one is kind of strange. I think it is a very well done story of a type in which I have no interest, which makes it a difficult thing for me to describe, critique, or be of any real use in any real way. But I'll do my best anyway.

This is one of 2 Luna-focused entries in the comp, and between the two your version aligns much better with my idea of her character. Whether it was intentional or a happy accident to do with your usual style, this piece involves a lot of comma-less sentences of considerable length, which lends a sort of breathless quality that matches very well with Luna as a character. It's not stream of consciousness, but some of the effects are similar and spices up the reading of internal thoughts, a truly good thing in a piece with no dialogue until the very end.

I think the choice to do an almost entirely introspective/interactionless piece was a bold one given the low word count, because it requires you to narrow your focus to a very specific time or event. I think you do it very well, but I'll admit it felt like it dragged (relative to its total length) in the descriptions at the start. It does good character work, but feels borderline excessive. An added benefit to this style is that at the end, when dialogue is injected, it feels extra vibrant because of the prior lack, giving the ending some umph.

Spoiler: A really, really long list of horrible errors

I really liked this line. Took a minute to puzzle it out, but once I did I thought 'Ooh, that's nice."

 

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I'm getting a little tired of Luna stories in DLP comps, but fine, this one was good.

Luna is perfectly in character. This part, in particular, was quintessential Luna:

I feel like the author occasionally made things a little more confusing than was necessary, even for a Luna Lovegood story. It took me a while to figure out that the "it" in the line, "The Dabberblimp hadn't found it this week," was her necklace and not the mysterious "it" that was the focus of Luna's quest.

The first part of this sentence doesn't follow the second part. I was also confused that in part of story Luna seems unsure what she's going to give Harry, and in other parts she seems to be clearly looking for a Snidget.

But overall this story was warm and sweet.

 

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Love love love the language in this, it's so pretty and elegant and is that a hint of green I detect in the face in the mirror?

This is the entry I'd most happily go back and revisit, so for that reason I have to deem it my winner. I do wish there was a little more meat on the bones and just a slightly more satisfying ending (feels like I've commented that on almost all the entries, hmm. Maybe this is a me issue more than anything else.) Not crazy about the Skele-Gro mention, like what do you have her doing that's removing bones from her body? Everything else was a joy to read though, and actually I'm being over-critical of the ending, skimming it again I see that I like it quite a bit.

I'm starting to realize that I know fuckall about how some characters are portrayed in the fandom, I suppose that's what I get for only reading Marauders era. However, I always thought, from the books, that Luna has a crush on Ron? Like isn't that how what was written in OotP was interpreted by everyone? Or not? I suppose after Slughorn's party you could argue that she switched her affections to Harry, she probably had stopped fancying Ron by the point she comments about him being thoughtless or whatever it was. Sorry went off on a tangent, but it's late and I'm too lazy to rewrite the whole paragraph. It's your fault too though, looking back you even mention how Luna thinks her new friend wouldn't like a spider. Harry, according to himself in both PS and HBP if memory serves, doesn't mind them

Anyway, I liked your Luna! I think she's exactly the type of character who would go on a quest to find something yet to be determined but most definitely friendly, although most of the time I'd imagine she doesn't end up with something real, let alone something as precious and rare as a golden snidget to bring back with her. But then those other times might not be flash competition story worthy.

Great title, too.

 

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Really liked this entry, it's a fun short story and I think you captured Luna's character pretty well. The only thing I didn't like was that around this part-

Things started getting a bit too descriptive at times. The end hit really well in my opinion. Just abrupt enough and gives a lovely bittersweet feeling. There were a few asides in the writing that were quite nice like this paragraph especially,

Overall, I found this enjoyable.