A very good chapter, I think. Not quite what I was expecting, but on the other hand, I think it made more sense this way. Now it makes you wonder what the hell Harry could possibly do to gain the upper hand. And I don't hate you - unless you just leave it cliffhanging here.

-J

 

Superb chapter even by your previous standards. I really liked how twisted Jamie is, how she manages to be unpredictable and yet display cruelty that can only be described as truly evil. I love the psychological factor, and can't wait for her to turn against Voldemort for her own power.

Keep up the superb storyline and continue surprising us. Great job.

 

Personally, I wonder what Jamie's plans for Harry are. Why did she want Harry to be consumed with an obsession for her to the point that he turns to the dark arts? I really look forward to seeing this.

emt10

 

Jamie's hot and strong and evil. But she ain't no Harry (well, kindof... anyway). I want Harry to not be a bitch. I don't want him fighting against Jamie, I want him doing what ever the fuck he wants.

 

Just read the story for the first time and all i can say is its bloody fantastic, truly an original piece of work. Harry turning dark and cunning was written extremely well and made believable, as well as being kept cliche free. I found myself getting irritated at Harry's helplessness concerning Jamie, which i believe is exactly what you wanted the reader to do, keep us guessing what his next step is going to be, as well as Jamie's. All in all a great fic and i'm looking forward to more.

Oh, and Harry chasing a female version of himself is kinda... erotic. But thats just my sick and perverse side shining through.

 

I've been wanting to see more of this for ages and this latest chapter left me... disapointed. Harry was really just a little bitch, Jamie is stronger than him in practically every way. Does he even have a slim chance of coming close to hurting Jamie unless she lets him? I think Harry should of read 'After Quidditch Blues' lol.

So will this be a whiny weak pathetic Harry fic, with Jamie playing with him physically and mentally? Then again with Jamie openly on Voldemorts side now, Harry could become the 'Lightsides' boy.... argh... I was so hoping for Harry to at least get a little payback, break her nose, fingers, knock a few teeth out, oh well here's hoping the next chapter is better!

 

Though he says it stronger than I, I think Calen was disappointed not with the fic in general, nor your superb writing, but the lack of payoff in the latest chapter.

I realise you're building stuff up further, developing the plot and your characters and the tension between Jamie and Harry, but after the tense anticipation-filled chapter previous to the latest one, it felt like we would (finally) get the payback and payoff we have been waiting for; Harry dominating/winning over/winning against Jamie.

While you can certainly take pride in the fact that your fic makes readers so emotionally invested in the story that they react so strongly to Harry getting kicked around, and also the cool parallel that has readers being pissed off about Harry being fucked over the same time Harry is pissed off about being fucked over, it does the lack the payoff that I know I at least expected in this chapter.

I do remain a reader of the story and an admirer of your writing skills, however, confident in the fact that we will (eventually..) get the payoff.

 

^^^ you're totally right, I only PO'd like that with fics I like, where I'm kind of invested in the characters and want to see them... 'advance'? Guess with this one, it just has me majorly impatient! More soon! Pleeease.....?

 

I know the feeling, and I'll say it's not unfounded.

But if really look at it, this is the sixth chapter. If I give a payoff, then what?

The story arc will end quickly, and I'll have have to stop before I even hit 50k words. But yes, I know what you're all complaining of, and I understand. One of the major contributing factors of this feeling is that the story is extremely condensed, and thus, only six chapters makes you want to kick my ass.

Fear no more, however - I guarantee Harry's payback will begin, albeit slowly, in the next chapter.

Amerision

 

Well I certainly hope it doesn't take you 6 more months to update again. I like this story.

Richard.

 

I can't get the thought out of my head that there is some ulterior motive to Jamie's reasoning for wanting Harry to follow her. Could she possibly be planning on using him in some way to make herself even more powerful? Possibly use him in a ritual? Or could she just want some good sex?

 

Updated.

Not much happens, but we're nearing the end...

 

Wut?

The end?

It's only just begun...

Still, a good chapter.

 

YAY AMER IS DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER! ^_^

(Yes that required the use of caps lock)

I still have not read this story Ame [I will some day though] but does this mean that you will be working on ToaDS now?

Or you still sticking with this one and working on ToaDS later?

/me hopes it's the former and not the latter...well, it's your time you are using when writing...so I can wait a few seconds after this finishes.

^_^

 

dumbledore's actions in the last chapter were unrealistic. he wouldn't let harry go easily after what happened. He would do everything know about Harry's past and what harry would do next.

 

But Harry has a leverage over him now - a life debt. This Dumbledore couldn't hurt, or forcefully extract information from Harry - it was in the text.

 

I'm also not a big fan of IAmAboveTheLaw!Dumbledore.

While powerful, I believe he abides by the rules. Kidnapping is only in fanon.

 

Not your greatest chapter in my opinion, it just didn't have the normal smooth flow that your chapters do. Not a whole lot else to comment on aside from the fact that Harry having a life debt over Dumbledore should be interesting. Oh and as a side note I absolutely hate the fact that you have Jamie going out with Malfoy, really hoping that Malfoy was lying.

 

Aww... still no 'bloody' revenge? Knock her out and leave her in a seedy area by some docks... somewhere. Nearly the end? Like 20 chapters away right? Or is it you're tiring of this fic? Ooo! Sequel after it maybe? Meh, probably getting ahead of myself, but whatever you do more soon!

 

This is one of my fav fics, I just love a Darker harry out for some evil antics for some reason it just makes me all giddy waiting to see who he will destroy.