Criticisms

-There are tiny annoyances such as in stock description being repeated too close to each other, such as gulp in the first two paragraphs. The problem with repetition carries over everywhere – for some reason the Aurors only refer to Harry as ‘lad’. More diversity wouldn't have hurt.

-Percy’s heartlessness and Harry’s hurt was overdone and given way too much attention. I give leniency since this is an old story written when this cliché was not so prevalent.

-I normally hate writers changing his identity, but only when it’s gratuitous. This is a prime place where changing Harry’s name seems tantamount to his survival. Everyone is searching for him – Voldemort, the Ministry, the Order of the Phoenix, why the fuck didn’t he change his birth certificate and choose something more innocuous? He knows he’s totally fucked and going straight back to Azkaban if he’s caught by the Ministry, he faces a worse fate if Voldemort finds him, and he hates the Order.

-A lot of emphasis on telling rather than showing that Harry has changed. The line: “You weren’t the boy you were”, Characters say it. Characters think it. Another example of irritating repetition. Does Sirius have nothing better to say? Wow.

-Harry’s terse if not monosyllabic, and it’s literally reminds you of speaking with a punk with a persecution complex. Most of the conversations take place between Harry and someone else, so it affects most of the dialogue.

- The ending is stupid. If I rated using numbers that would lose a point all on its own. The story isn’t complete in the sense that the conflict isn’t resolved. Voldemort is still out there even after the Ministry rooted out its corruption.

Praise

-Drastically different from any other Azkaban story, in every respect, such as the strength of the writing and the course of events. It’s the only Azkaban fic that properly explores the consequences of Harry’s imprisonment there beyond making him angry. His aversion to large crowds is a nice detail, for example.
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-Everything is done with moderation. There’s no retarded moment where they declare they are kindred spirits and understand each other since both of them have suffered in Azkaban. In the Dursley scene, Vernon is slightly sympathetic to Harry’s plight since he got treated unjustly for saving Dudley, but he still evicts him and never wants to see him again. And perhaps my favorite – Minister Fudge’s motivations were explained logically and he was not dismissed as a complete incompetent.

- The interpretation of the scuffle in the Department of Mysteries. He didn’t call it a fiasco. In canon it was a tremendous victory – nearly all the Death Eaters were captured and Voldemort was exposed without learning of the prophecy. And to what cost? Just Sirius Black dying. I applaud this especially.

Mixed Opinions

-Harry’s characterization. He leaves Azkaban and when he meets Sirius, he grandstands about not taking it up the ass anymore, that he changed. Firstly, it’s petulant. Sirius survived thirteen years in the prison and Harry, who stayed there only a few months, is a bitch in comparison. It’s an actual asshole!Harry. Not asshole as in flippant and witty like the Denarian Harry, but a fucking asshat. So it’s some overlap with the exploration of Azkaban’s impact on Harry’s pysche, which I (mostly) approved of. It’s an issue of showing and telling. Until Harry helps subdue the Death Eaters toward the climax of the story, everything is only telling. Then the story ends.

-I don’t think the fic warranted a step-by-step procedure on how to purchase a flat, starting up a new bank account, etc. I don’t feel strongly about it either way, but it was dreary reading, especially in a novella-length story where scenes aren't wasted.

-The plot decisions are somewhat disappointing. The title is a misnomer since Harry doesn’t leave Britain despite being exiled. The lack of ambition is surprising since the author clearly has the skills to launch some fireworks. I had the vague expectation of fugitive chases, adventures in foreign countries, and what I got was Harry staying within the canon sphere (Hogwarts, the Burrow, Grimmauld’s Place).

-It’s all too neat. Harry goes to the Department of Mysteries, clears his name, Fudge's house of cards collapses. That's something so predictable you automatically assume the author must surprise you just to avoid looking uncreative. But that's what we got.

On the other hand, the plot developments set in Britain worked out alright, so it’s a consolation.

Conclusion



Underwhelming given the unanimously positive reception. I rate this an Emperor Barbarossa out of a Julius Caesar. Brilliant campaign undercut by an uninspired ending. Like Antioch, I was left unconquered.

 

Great find! I really like this story! I can't see any mistakes and the plot was well thought of, now to rate it.

+2 Bashing +1 sort of Original +1 No pairing +1 great read = 5