Um... No offense, but What the hell? Where did you pull this out of? How does it in any way relate to the thread?

 

Considering that I'm a rabid nonjon fan (right up there with The_Caitiff and JBern,) WHY don't I recognize this scene? Would you please post the link?

* offers chocolate chip cookies *

 

Hey, I'm up for cookies!

I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2630300/1/You_Did_What , third in the "Where in the World is Harry Potter" trilogy, but I might have embellished the "crunch crunch, tastes like chicken" bit. (I don't always store scenes totally accurately in my wetware drive). I do remember the head biting though. Should be near when Harry introduces Bob to Dumbledore after the überdementor rows across the Hogwarts lake to get the experience of being sorted as a 1st year.

I agree, Nonjon rocks the house.

 

To get back on topic *cough cough*;

Stupedy Multiplicus. Pretty much like Maximus, but it just multiplies the spells coming out. Aiming and power issues aside, I would even accept it in the direst of circumstances if it a) wasn't a simple maximus and b) the power of one spell was split into five or whatever.

 

He opened her cage and she fluttered appreciatively, taking flight and landing on his dresser. Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at the mess on the bottom of her cage. “Sourify.”

That is poor, although it might not be as poor as "leh kcab ot og" uber!Harry's self patented spell for sending dementors.......wait for it.............back to hell.


And for anyone who does not get it, it's backwards.

 

"go to back hel?"

Uber!Harry not only makes lame spells, but also has lame grammar.

 

Yep, and can you guess what the super version of the spell was?
"leh ot kcab og ot uoy dnnamoc i".......such creativity.

oh and welsh spells also suck.

 

The only time I'll ever except a Maximus spell is when it's used with Luminos. Otherwise, bad things should befall you.

Personally, I think word-scramble solves all your spell making needs, why more people don't do it I'll never understand.

Worst spell ever for me? Well that's a tricky one....ah, here we go. "Tempus Death." I'll bet you never guess what it does? Though granted, it was a place holder that they forgot to change, but still.

You have a Ctrl+F function for a reason, noobs.

 

I know the topic is FANFICTION'S most terrible spells, but we *have* to mention the "ennervate/renervate" screwup.

When *I* become a big name enchanter/spell researcher, all *my* spells will be in English, and will use readily available material components.

 

Not me. Mine will be in Mandarin, so da bi zi (big noses) who try to conjure, say, a flaming horse will instead turn their mothers into randy slags by their silly intonation snafus!

The worst spell ever in fanfiction or canon is, bar none, the bat bogey hex. Can anyone imagine a stupider thing to obsess over? No way any story of mine has that spell in it, except as a vehicle to heap ridicule on red-haired stalker chicks.

 

Ha, that just reminded me.........Baticulus Bogius,I think that one was intentional though, it was a parody.

 

i completely agree with perspicacity on the "Bat Bogey Hex" thing. Isn't it like a stupid hex used for pranking? How can it be 'Ginny's feared bat bogey hex' ?

'leh kcab ot og' ? Which fucking retard invented that????

Expecto Patronum Multiplicus....

Produces more than one patronus each with the same power that one casted possesses.

 

Yeah, I never understood that either.

Unless it's a euphemism for the various STDs she carries.

 

You never know....

Oh one more..... I read it from a fic long back...

Loveabandius engorgius

Harry and Ginny use it together to fill Voldemort's heart with love and then he dies.... How he dies, the author never explained...

 

If I ever, ever, see a fic where Harry kills Voldemort with "love", I will flame the author to the point where they will either a) remove the story, or b) commit suicide. Even Rowling wasn't that fucking stupid.

 

lovebandius engorgius??????? WTF? I think I just got slightly sick in my mouth,and what is with the multitude of fics where Harry can only kill Voldemort if he is hand in fucking hand with ginny?

The prophesy says that its Harry or Voldemort in the end, gin-slut is a non entity.

 

Obviously his heart burst from all the love.

 

Or he saw Harry and Gin-slut holding hands and casting that shit-hole of a spell and decided death was better than ever remembering THAT image again.

 

Well, discounting exploding Voldemort's heart with love we always have the famed Love Shield!™ that nonjon came up with . That, and I think it was Fate's Debt that fired Pure Love at the Dark Lord and he died... Gotta enjoy those Love Beams .

Aekiel

 

The only way I can ever see Ginny Weasley being involved in the death of Lord Voldemort is to have Harry lock the two in a room together and let her nag the Dark Lord to death.

...If he hasn't killed himself before she can.