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Fanfiction's Worst Reviews

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Moridin, Jul 7, 2010.

  1. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I was directed here from IRC by reports of what sounded like a dumpster fire going on, but all seems (more or less) well. Regarding Joe and Sey, I second @Dark Syaoran I think.

    I admit I'd be pissed too if someone from DLP was giving me passive aggressive shit anonymously. Especially personal shit. And since it might have involved the competition I did feel the need to weigh in on that and tell them to get the fuck over it - the competition is for fun. There's not even a real prize.

    It's quite possible to make a career out of writing either a similar character or similar tropes over and over in different formats. Look at John Grisham and Dean Koontz ffs.

    I think everything has been said on that topic now? We'll figure out who the anonymous person is sooner or later without filling up this thread with speculation.

    And now that I've had my say... I wanna bitch about this review that's been pissing me the fuck off since 2015.

    Here's the one-shot: Skipping in the Dark
    Here's the review:
    The start said Dumbledore isn't gay. Wrong. Dumbledore IS gay! He held romantic feelings for Grindelwald, the reason why he couldn't stand up to Grindelwald until their duel. J.K Rowling revealed it ages ago, didn't you know? Unless you're very recent, then you wouldn't know. DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!

    OMFG it's LUNA ffs! She's using "gay" to mean "happy" and that's the. whole. point. of. the. joke! It's blatantly obvious and I wanted to strangle this reviewer and explain in simple words precisely how it was funny, damnit, and that they're a puss-eating idiot.

    And yes, I've been on and off being irritable about this for 4 years now. It's fine. Everything is fine:GDie1
     
  2. James

    James High Inquisitor

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    @Ched that is awesome. I actually laughed out loud. Thank you.
     
  3. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~

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    @Joe I think I hurt their feelings

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Silirt

    Silirt Order Member DLP Supporter

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    >reviewing Lesser Evils twice to say that it doesn't have a lot of reviews
    Those are some big brain plays right there.
     
  5. Silens Cursor

    Silens Cursor The Silencer DLP Supporter

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  6. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~

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    But wait, there's more! The spice salt must flow...

    [​IMG]

    @Zombie mate someone has an issue with your remarks
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2019
  7. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Yep, its the same person that spammed my shit up. Just call them a Naruto fan, that chaps their dick.

    upload_2019-4-5_16-20-32.png

    I have a fan.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe The Reminiscent Exile ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm not going to engage with this reviewer anymore, lads. I've said enough. The more I think about it the more I feel sorry for whoever it is - they've got nothing better to do than attack those of us still providing new stories to the community with obscure facts about writers from the last fifteen years.

    It's a race to the bottom between being creepy and being pathetic. The smart money is on a tie. Anyway, I don't see a way this doesn't end, at best, with those of us he's attacking also being on a well-maintained spreadsheet where he guesses our nipple size and hue against suspected skin softness. But then I've always been an optimist.

    So yeah, I'm out.

    Here's a 'worst' review that made me chuckle:

    [​IMG]

    This guy nailed Wastelands before I even knew what track the story was going to take. I'm almost proud of this one. Heh.
     
  9. Eilyfe

    Eilyfe Chief Warlock

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    Ouff. What gets me are reviews that tell you your story is garbage and then compare it to another one that apparently does everything better. I know it's just par for the course, but somehow those sting even more than just a "u suck, and here's why".

    Damn you, fragile writer ego, one day I'll have mastered you!
     
  10. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

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    All I'm going to say is that if the person leaving those reviews is doing so anonymously because they think they'd be banned then we've sent the wrong message over the years, and that I very much appreciate everyone trying to move the topic along.

    Regarding the Story Competition point, submissions are anonymous and made solely to me and I wouldn't dream of spending an ounce of time trying to connect dots just because someone has a theory that person might have leveled criticism anonymously. It's the internet, that's beyond fair play even if it stings.
     
  11. MF DOOM

    MF DOOM Second Year

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    Apr 28 c1TheQuestionedOne
    WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lives in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that read this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on the site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake, apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow...,...




    Well, I think, I'm free from this curse.
     
  12. Silirt

    Silirt Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I seriously thought those things were dead. I haven't had one in my inbox in years.
     
  13. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator DLP Gold Supporter

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    Lol had a new review on Anticlockwise.

     
  14. Plotless

    Plotless High Inquisitor

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    Charming.

    People who write shit like that and then say "I'm just brutally honest" are always those who can't take criticism themselves too.
     
  15. Niez

    Niez Third Year

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    He(?) is probably just upset about Sirius. I was upset about Sirius. Fuck, I still am.
     
  16. Download

    Download Second Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    What's the bet he's an edgy manchild?
     
  17. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator DLP Gold Supporter

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    I took a look at his profile, I'd say edgy man-child sounds pretty accurate. It's nice to know I was probably on his favourite list for a while though. Funnily enough he's made my review count jump as people pile in to tell me not to listen to him. I should ask him to shitpost on all my stories.

    Charming update from maybe the same person? I'm not sure if that is even directed at me.
     
  18. Silirt

    Silirt Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Starting to think that's a larp.
     
  19. Psychotic Cat

    Psychotic Cat Headmaster

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    Is there even a noticable difference between being a moron that freaks out at people over fanfiction, and 'pretending' to be a moron that freaks out at people over fanfiction. The actions are exactly the same, seems to me the only change is in what delusion they use to convince themselves they're not a shithead.
     
  20. Plotless

    Plotless High Inquisitor

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    If it walks like a man-child, etc.
     
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