Probably both.

 

This is a guest review, so it does not link to an account. No idea who 'Grant' is.

The central character in Rookwood on Blood Purism is Marietta Edgecombe, so I assume that Barbietta is like a joke fan name.

 

I'm sad. Are you sad?

 

@ScottPress

After reading the review, I am sad for you.

 

@Salsa

After watching you post on DLP 283 times in three months, I am sad for you.

 

@Conquistador

Quantity has a quality of its own.

 

Got this gem today.

Made me lul. I think this is what you call trying too hard to tell somebody they tried too hard.

 

The AI is evolving. Soon it will eclipse us entirely.

 

I don't understand why they've chosen ff.net for such spam. I was of the impression that ffnet was mostly populated by females, based off what some threads here told.

I got these messages too, received it last month.

 

Just got this truly bizarre review:


From: Young Simon (Guest)
-------------------

Young Simon:This is quite good but I think could benefit from the inclusion of my Original Character Sir Dedrick The Cool. He is tall and he is thin, of an enviable height, and he's been known to be quite handsome in a certain angle and a certain light. Also Bengie Fenwick should not be dead actually but only in exile, and come back to teach Harry cool curses. Thanks.

 

@Jeram


Sir Dedrick the Cool concept art to help you with introducing him into your story

 

I think I got that marketing spam a while back too.

 

Hopefully I don't get infracted for this

I find shitty reviews like this on just about every 40k story of note:

Spoiler

The Imperium is always depicted as knowing they are committing a necessary evil, although the alternative would possibly be creating a second Negative Space Wedgie at the heart of itself (which is kind of what happened with the Eldar). Taking the lesser of two evils means that they think of themselves as good in comparison to the alternative.
However, individuals within the Imperium may have a slightly different view of things. In For The Emperor, Commissar Cain reflects on how, to him, Tau society appears extremely rigid and rulebound by comparison to the more laissez-faire attitude of the Imperium towards its citizens. Unless they're heretics of course...

Fascist policies are not just justified, but absolutely required for mere survival because the 40K universe is so damned dangerous
"if you let me put my thumb on the utilitarian scales, I can get you to agree that you have an affirmative moral duty to torture a three-year-old child to death."

Powerful and Continuing Nationalism: It's not like you can emigrate anywhere. (Well, maybe the Tau Empire or The Eye of Terror)

Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights: They have an Inquisition, and it's actually necessary to prevent chaos demons from appearing everywhere.

Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause: It's pretty easy when the scapegoats are constantly spitting acid on the front door.

Supremacy of the Military: War is everywhere, and failure means the deaths of billions or even trillions, the military is all that stands between humanity and chaotic oblivion. However, unlike other fascist regimes, the military is not precisely glorified. With a few exceptions, Imperial Guardsmen are taught that the military is, like everything else in the Imperium, a tool of survival. Unlike most fascist regimes, in which the military is a means to righteous victory over the Supreme Leader's many and sundry enemies, victory is not spoken of in the Imperium, only survival. Because victory is widely perceived to be (and actually is) impossible, a perception common among rank-and-file Guardsmen themselves, any potential glamor or glory the military might have is ground down by the reality of constant war. Contrast with fascist imagery of long struggles but quick and victorious wars over the weak and spineless enemy. Even the grandiose religious and authoritarian imagery woven into the Imperial Guard's equipment (battleships built like cathedrals, tanks built like castles) has a practical purpose: to keep both the Guardsmen and the populations they 'defend' in awe of the might of the Imperium, reducing the likelihood of revolt or mutiny.

Controlled Mass Media: "Knowledge is power; guard it well." It's nigh-impossible to know what's really happening in the Imperium, since the bureaucracy hides it. The reasons for doing this range from simply keeping the masses loyal and productive (if there is, say, a genestealer cult on the planet, the populace doesn't need to know; if they're panicking in the streets they aren't growing crops or building weapons for the Imperium), to protection against the fact that in this universe, knowledge can LITERALLY be power. Power that can make you pants-crappingly insane or summon The Legions of Hell. Which leads to the next point

Obsession with National Security: The whole universe is a thin sheen of normality built atop a gigantic Negative Space Wedgie; the obsession with defense and warfare is crucial to the survival of humanity. On a more local scale, constant vigilance against heretic, xeno, mutant, and witch (rogue psyker). Any one of these groups can destroy an entire planet with relative ease and can show up at any time. For example: a Chaos fleet shows up above a random planet, the uncertain nature of FTL travel having thrown them thousands of light years off course. A heretics summon demons. Eldar glass your cities or entire worlds on the off chance it'll save one of their own centuries or millenia from now. Psyker's brain explodes in crowded work camp, kills hundreds, attracts notice of Tzeentch. The Imperium's sole defense against such threats is an obsession with security.

Religion and Government are Intertwined: The Empire of Man is a straight-up theocracy, because not only is worship of the Emperor justified, it's required for the Astronomican (A huge psychic beacon that guides faster-than-light travel all over the galaxy) to work

While the Imperium of Man is rabidly and xenocidally human-centric, but considering that the Eldar view every other species as mindless pawns to be manipulated, the Tau are divided into genetically "pure" castes based on their physical specializations and practice brainwashing, reeducation and concentration camps and forced mass sterilization, the Orks tend to "crump any o' 'dose gits what ain't Orky enuff!" - including other Orks – live only for murder, mayham, and the joy of slaughter, and everything else is trying to kill everything else, it's fairly understandable. More than understandable: due to the nature of the Imperial religion and the fact that the God Emperor is the only “god” that Chaos can't touch, he IS anathema to the Ruinous Powers, the greatest source of order in the galaxy/universe, there HAVE been quite literal miracles Those who are possessed of enough faith in him can call upon small portions of his power (as evidenced by living saints and the occasional miracle) it could be argued he has champions(possibly Sensei/Illuminati), and that he does occasionally bestow 'gifts' (think Celestine, the living saint and her ability to not die, becoming a close-minded, xenophobic bigot is pretty much the only way your soul can be saved

Given that genetic mutation and spiritual corruption are often interlinked mutation of the body from the Holy Human Form is a sure sign of Chaos taint
That said, some mutants are tolerated in the Imperium, because they are necessary and/or relatively stable. This includes Navigators, who are necessary for Warp travel, psykers, who are important for astropathic communication, powering the Astronomican, and feeding the Emperor, and the various strains of abhumans, who are stable and useful.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, followers of Chaos treat mutants very highly, as they are considered favored by the Chaos Gods. Tzeentch in particular doles out mutations like there's no tomorrow (and knowing 40k, there legitimately may not be), giving his followers extra eyes, arms, legs, and even heads

Obsession with Crime and Punishment: When your crimes can summon demons and destroy worlds, the state is justified in being interested in them

In other words: In the grim darkness of the far future, War is Peace

You LOVE the Emperor of Mankind, the eternal savior of humanity, for without his protection mankind would face certain extinction. You know that even heretical thoughts create windows into the Warp for unimaginable horrors, but your moral sensibilities raised by (insert atrocity X) might cause you to question: Is the Imperium's rule really the last, best hope of humanity? Am I fighting for the good guys? Maybe those Tau, or that cult of freethinkers, really work for the Greater Good or want better lives for the miserable oppressed.
(the paranoid gut-wrenching moral dilemma here is captured by most half-way decent mindf* spy movies)
Maybe you defect, or are corrupted. You quickly learn that not only are they as bad, but they are worse than the Imperium, that their boot on every human's face, forever, is better compared to alternatives. Hopefully, in the moments before the inquisitorial bullet claims you, you will have the comfort of knowing that YOU LOVE THE GOD-EMPEROR, because HE PROTECTS HUMANITY

Spoiler

The Emperor can make a star go supernova with a snap of his fingers

The Emperor is a warrior, tactician, strategist, scientist, and psyker without equal

The Emperor is Jesus, Thor, King Arthur, and Conan put together

I like to think the Warhammer Fantasy non chaos gods as Saints of the Emperor

The Emperor defeating the Void Dragon should theoretically give mankind command of all technology possibly excepting artificial intelligence and there is the Dark Mechanicum

What the tech priests usually do is just what we do repair work with added chanting and maybe burning incense and the like, and they actually DO make the machines work when they shouldn't sometimes though that's usually with the more advanced versions which may just be some artificial intelligence or advanced programming

Technical Knock and Gun Blessing talents. Technical Knock allows an operator to clear a "jam" (the catch-all term used for almost all weapon malfunctions, including in flame and energy weapons) with a swift, simple ritual that may or may not be code for hitting the gun just right. On the other hand, Tech Priests can learn the Gun Blessing, which allows them to unjam multiple weapons at once with a wave of their hand

Necron Crypteks have no connection to the warp, but in material world their technologies tend to surpass Eldar's can tell the laws of physics to "Piss off and quit cramping my style"

Spoiler

My enemy’s enemy is a problem for later, for now they may be useful

What is necessary has little to do with what is right

Being an oppressor makes you an oppressor

When your choices are extinction, enslavement, literal damnation, or survival, you choose survival

Daemon Princes have power beyond the reckoning of mortals heretical or otherwise that said

Ollanius Pius patron saint of the Imperial Guard put himself directly in front of a walking god of battle who has just ripped apart the strongest Space Marine Primarch in the hopes of protecting the Emperor of Mankind and he did so without fainting, $#!tting himself in terror, or mewling like a wounded grox, His death proved that Horus had given himself over to chaos completely (Not to mention the act of flaying an AVERAGE PERSON ALIVE WITH A MERE GLANCE proves that you're nothing but a f*ing b!%c#-a$$ prick)

Also those who fail, or don't succeed fast enough, or who find themselves on the wrong end of a Chaos God on a bad day, or just don't bring enough glory fast enough, are "rewarded" with Chaos Spawn

and even though those Daemon Princes get their own planets to rule even they are but slaves of the ruinous powers

The mission comes first the fate of humanity comes first

The Imperium doesn't measure the death of men but planets

The universe is a big place and whatever happens, you will probably not be missed

For every martyr remembered countless die unknown

It is these countless anonymous heroes who give their lifeblood that ensures humanity’s survival

No man who dies in service to the Emperor dies in vain

It is better to die for the Emperor than to live for yourself.

Life is the Emperor's currency, spend it well.

To each of us falls a task and all the Emperor requires of a trooper is that they stands in line and die fighting, it's what we do best, we die standing

Mankind stands on the shoulders of the martyred

"I have seen war in all its forms. I've brained feral world savages with stones, mercy killed an entire planet with a virus bomb to prevent it from falling to the minions of the ruinous powers, dropped into certain death with Adeptes Astartes and win, watched Titans crush whole platoons underfoot. Rode with Death Riders, and there is no more stirring sight in war than the charge of massed cavalry."

most of the world's soldiers are younger

The Inquisition has infinite power because they have infinite responsibility, they literally have no right to let tens or hundreds of billions live for the greater good of mankind

The logic of Mankind having a manifest destiny to rule the Galaxy is more than merely for the survival of humanity, the other species were failures or depraved or both

Statistically, you will almost certainly die when assaulting a well-maintained fortress with a competent commander. You must strive to make your death useful.

You'll run out of ammunition before we run out of men, you'll run out of men before we run out of tanks, if we must drown you in the blood of our own we will

Survival is no birthright, but a prize wrested from an uncaring galaxy by forgotten heroes

Blessed be the gunmakers

Spoiler

Tzeentch - is the desire for change, often for the sheer sake of change. (the problem is he NEVER stops his minions and victims alike change and change and change until they become warped monstrous horrors beyond description or die or both) The same thing which causes a person to get 'cabin fever' or experience wanderlust, that's Tzeentch. When a little kid won't stop asking 'why', that's Tzeentch:
"Why is the sky blue"
Because it is.
"But why? Why not green?"
Because that would be wrong.
"Why is that wrong? I like green"
etc etc
That's Tzeentch. Tzeentch gives you the power to make the sky green. Or purple. Or pink.
If you're taking a test and saying "man, I wish that I was smarter so I could ace this" that's Tzeentch. He'll make you smart. You don't even have to study!
Tzeentch is not hope. Tzeentch is wish gratification. You can hope that you pass the test, and that does nothing for Tzeentch. You can wake up and wish that the sky were green, and Tzeentch won't raise a finger. But if you wish that YOU were smart, or that YOU could make the sky green, Tzeentch will absolutely offer you the power to do that and more. The selfish desire to make the world in your image to hell with any innocents and the greater good

Tzeentch listens to dreams and all men dream of prosperity, freedom and a better tomorrow. These dreams are not just the preserve of the impoverished or the powerless - even Imperial Planetary Governors and Imperial Navy battlefleet admirals dream of further riches, or perhaps even an end to their responsibilities

The mortal champions of Tzeentch are especially dangerous, as they often wield awesome sorcerous power on top of their considerable physical prowess. Professors, philosophers, scientists, intellectuals, and artists also swell Tzeentch’s ranks, for as much as the Changer of Ways embraces magic and guile, he also loves knowledge in all its forms. Predictably, Tzeentch finds those who investigate forbidden or taboo subjects particularly interesting, as individuals willing to defy convention and perhaps even ethics and the law to pursue their intellectual ambitions often make willing and effective servants. Some thinkers who reach a stumbling block in their scholarly pursuits can become obsessed with a particular problem or question. These scholars may try any number of approaches to find answers, but no experiment, no amount of research or consultation with experts, and no amount of sweat and elbow grease brings them closer to a solution. These obsessed scholars are particularly vulnerable to Tzeentch’s temptations. While some may deliberately seek the assistance of the Master of Fate, many more unwittingly fall into Tzeentch’s service after accepting help from an insightful but mysterious new colleague or after gazing too long at a classified or forbidden text that somehow finds its way onto their desk

Tzeentch is not above sullying his clawed hands with the bloody business of war, though he much prefers to win his battles through guile and sorcery than brute force though he will manipulate and use it

Nurgle and Tzeentch don't get along because Tzeentch messes up the natural order of things. To Nurgle, time passes, people are born and die, and that's just how it is. To Tzeentch, time is entirely irrelevent - if you wish that you could ride a Delorean back to the 50's, Tzeentch will toss you the keys faster than you can say "Marty McFly". If you wish that you could turn your dead friend from wormfood back to a living person - bam! But Nurgle hates that, because your friend was supposed to lay there and be food so that more worms could be born, and flowers could have fertilizer to bloom.

Nurgle truly believes people WANT his terrible diseases

Unlike the other three who don't even pretend to care about their followers

Nurgle - is actually based on the name of a real historical fertility god. Whenever people are glad for new life (a baby being born, flowers blooming) Nurgle is there. The trouble is that a lethal fungus releasing spores, influenza cells multiplying, and maggots hatching in a decaying corpse - these are also new lives. That's why Nurgle's followers are glad to be the hosts of so many diseases - all life is sacred, and to be a vessel of one of Nurgle's sacred lives is a blessing.
Nurgle is not the god of Death and Decay, as he is so often portrayed. He is the god of the natural order of things. In Nurgle's eyes, you are born, you live and breed new life (from the babies you make, to the bacteria growing in your gut), then you die and become fuel for the cycle. If you consider that Nurgle champions the natural order, it makes a lot more sense why he hates Tzeentch so much.

Nurgle never seems to get around to the whole rebirth thing

Nurgle is misery loves company

Nurgle is the desire to live no matter what even if it's just a walking sack of pus enslaved to Nurgle's will

Slaanesh is self involved it likes torture and sadism of course it's also pleasure and perfection of the self even warfare though different than Khorne while at the price of insatiable maddening bloodlust the Blood God will give you great strength and teach you everything about armed and unarmed combat and battle tactics and strategies Slaanesh will let you make that one perfect shot or flawlessly win the next duel at the price of maddening need of more and more depraved and disgusting acts to feel ANYTHING

Slaanesh - is perfection. You like music, but there is some music out there that you know is just awful. You wish that music would go away, or you don't want to listen to it? You taste food prepared by a competent chef and it is amazing, you think that you could eat it every day. But you have also tasted food that you wouldn't give to your dog, and you never want to eat it again. You see a beautiful person and you want to be their friend, or their "friend" - and you'd rather be around them than be surrounded by ugly people. Slaanesh is all of that - he's never satisfied with what's in front of him, he always wants it to be better. This music is great, but Slaanesh is sure that there is someone who does it better, and he'll find them. The reason Slaanesh characters always seem like perverts is because they're the ultimate 'hipsters' or elitists. They want the best of everything - what was good yesterday is now passe and boring. One need not be obscenely wealthy even the lowest can take pleasure in the crackling flame or eating fingernails or drool absorption especially when obsession consumes all thoughts, the village has several houses to burn and neighbors have fingernails and drool. When you can't feel pleasure anymore, you start exploring the depths of pain.
Slaanesh hates Khorne because Khorne is barbaric. Khorne has no appreciation for fine art, or for good music, or for the feeling of dying. Khorne just burns and destroys. Slaanesh at least has the good sense to rape and pillage first.

Khorne would prefer his followers to fight worthy adversaries or better yet someone they could never defeat but if you keep slaughtering enough civilians en masse eventually someone worth fighting will find you

He sicks his hounds on cowards, deserters, those who flee from battle to burn them forever in the black fires of his hearth

Warriors who die in their sleep slave his foundries forever shamed

His only temple is the battlefield, his only sacrament the spilled blood of nations

As far as I know the only torture is the blood raven/eagle from fantasy, Slaanesh is the torture

Khorne is not just mindless, rage-induced murder. He is every act of violence. From Sweeny Todd slitting throats for revenge and personal gain, to the holy warrior killing infidels in a faraway land including even his own followers, and the "plain crazy" murders, but also the genuine desire to protect others

The problem with Khorne is he gets angry if you go more than a day without spilling or shedding blood it matters not from where the blood flows only that it flows

Khorne twists honor and protection to tyranny and savagery

When warriors forget why they kill that is when Khorne owns their souls

So whenever you think "why no good Warp gods", ask yourself what emotion you want them to encapsulate. Love? Nurgle loves you no matter what (he loves you BECAUSE of your flaws and wants you to REVEL in them and never change them). "Love"? Slaanesh has all the lovin' you need, baby. Control over the girl of your dreams? Slaanesh is your guy. And if you want the love of some higher power, well, Khorne will give it to you, but you gotta fight for it

Spoiler

You can not be an Inquisitor without these three things, an unshakable unwavering dedication to the cause (mankind's survival/freedom from the Xeno/Mutant/Daemon/Heretic/Rogue Psyker/Witch and dominance in the universe, the Imperium/Emperor), a will of iron to do whatever is necessary, and good investigative instincts

The James Bonds/Navy SEALS/Jack Bauers/Dirty Harrys/Vin Diesel XXXs/Skywalkers

Give any man the power of a god, and you better hope he's got the wisdom and morals of a god to match. There's nothing feeble about my moral line. I value life. That is why I fight to protect it. I mourn every man I lose and every sacrifice I make. One life or a billion, they're all lives.

I am a Commissar. I am empowered to deliver justice wherever I see it lacking. I am empowered to punish cowardice. I am granted the gift of total authority to judge, in the name of the Emperor, on the field of combat.

I have a reputation, a reputation as a fair, honest man who treats his soldiers well and supports them in the face of darkness. Potentially, that reputation makes me soft. It seems I understand failure and forgive it. Some believe me to be a weak commissar, not prepared to take the action my rank demands. Not prepared to enforce field discipline where I see it failing. I am an Imperial commissar. I will enflame the weak, support the wavering, guide the lost. I will be all things to all men who need me. But I will also punish without hesitation the incompetent, the cowardly, and the treasonous

Look upon this hammer I hold before me, for it is far more than a weapon. It is a symbol of the Imperial justice that smites the diabolic enemies of the Imperium wherever they are found, just as I. Though it has banished even a mighty Greater Daemon to the hell from which it was spawned, it remains true and pure, just as I. Furthermore, it is a symbol of my order and my office, of the authority granted to me by the divine will of the Emperor. By that authority, I am commanding you and your entire regiment to obey me without question or hesitation. Advance, or it will not be daemonic blood that stains my hammer this day.

The weak will always be led by the strong. Where the strong see purpose and act, the weak follow; where the strong cry out against fate, the weak bow their heads and succumb. There are many who are weak; and many are their temptations. Despise the weak for they shall flock to the call of the Daemon and the Renegade. Pity them not and scorn their cries of innocence - it is better that one hundred innocently fall before the wrath of the Emperor than one kneels before the Daemon.

The Daemon has many forms. You must know them all. You must tell the Daemon from his disguise and root him out from the hidden places. Trust no-one. trust not even yourself. It is better to die in vain than to live an abomination.
The zealous martyr is praised for his valor: the craven and the unready are justly abhorred.

There is no place for the weakwilled or hesitant. Only by firm action and resolute faith will mankind survive. No sacrifice is too great. No treachery too small.

Even a man with nothing can still give his life

Spirit of noxious immateria, be gone from hence, for as the Emperor of Mankind, manifold be his blessings, watches over me, so I will not fear the shadow of the warp...

The Emperor protects

Though Mankind is at the brink of this great apotheosis, you must be ever vigilant for the stillborn harbingers of this change. Where you seek the pure and strong, there too will you find the impure and weak. Where you find but one worthy of life, you will also find a million twisted, deformed monstrosities for whom death by your hand is a mercy. Therefore, look first for the mutant, for he may never hide his sin from you, and in his midst there will be revealed to you that which you seek. But be ever vigilant, for even should you find one with the gift, only one in a thousand psykers will be strong enough to resist the perils of the Empyrean and be allowed to live.

You ask why we must cleanse the xenos. I will tell you. The filth of the alien and the witch must be exterminated to preserve the purity of the Human race, lest we degenerate into abomination

You are not free whose liberty is won by the rigor of other, more righteous souls. You are merely protected. Your freedom is parasitic, you suck the honorable man dry and offer nothing in return. You who have enjoyed freedom, who have done nothing to earn it, your time has come. This time you will stand alone and fight for yourselves. Now you will pay for your freedom in the currency of honest toil and human blood.

Trust in the Emperor but trust in you blade as well

As the Emperor protects so must we

For Mankind and for The Emperor

Like what the fuck? I swear this shit is everywhere.

 

It began, as these things often do, with a fairly ordinary review.

But what is this? More to come at a later date?

Oh no. I didn't know. I didn't know! Make it stop.

Bitch, you what? At least it's done now though. Oh no. There's more. [Gremlins] Ohh my gaaaawd. [Gremlins]

Sure, random guy. I'll get on with that shit. Also, thanks for telling me basic information about a setting I've been exploring. Wait. What's this? He's emboldened someone else?

Uhhh... Actually, I'll stop you right here:

No. Saved you what I sincerely hope was a massive copy-paste job and not actually typed out. You can thank me later.

 

I think you should reconsider. I feel you may the only author on DLP, May the world, capable of doing that idea justice.

 

What kind of a mindset does one have to be in to copy/paste several thousand words off the Harry Potter wiki and not just link the page instead.

I like how it's worded, as though it's the obvious thing to do and you might just forget to massively change the plot of the entire fic.

 

I got some reviews today that made me remember this thread.



From now on, please address me as 'that dude who writes the Captain America in Westeros SI'.