Two things jump out at me. One I'm unsure about, having never read Twilight, but isn't Edward a one-hundred-plus-year-old, immortal vampire? Hardly a teenager then, yeah? And two, Harry is not emo. You could try arguing for that descriptor in OotP but I challenge you to find any other fictional character, YA or otherwise, who'd deal with the circumstances any better at that age. Most of us wouldn't cope as well even with several years' more maturity.


The closest approximations we get to 'emo' in the series are perhaps Malfoy and Hermione in HBP, and they're both a stretch.


Oh, and JKR =/= Ginny, JKR = Hermione. Duh.

 

Yeah, Hermione was JKR's self-insert.

She used Ron and Hermione's marriage as a parallel to her previous marriage, and Harry/Ginny to her current one (bad relationship -> love at last).

Kind of makes you wonder about Hermione and Ron's fate, 19 more years down the line.

 

Iztiak posted some of the most butthurt gems I've ever seen from CareOtters/Team Ozone's fanfic The Wizard Who Meddled With Time.

So time to revive this thread! We're bound to have collected a few more by now. What are the most hilarious and downright awful reviews you've seen?

 

This sort of defies the point of a review, no?

 

No comment.

 

It's always good to see fics that push people realistically out of their comfort zones.

What a bunch of wingers.

 

Harry Potter and the Elves Most Fabulous

Yeah, so you're all tarts, apparently.

A New Man

I... think this is actually good? It's bullshit because Harry isn't enough of a moron?

Well that's nice. I always enjoy a nice rant but I'm not sure how pertinent it is to the story, really?

Quoted for Great Syed. I worry about how close this comes to my actual plans for that story.

The Power He Knows Not

I. Uh. Right. She always seemed pretty decent to me, but you do you.

Uh. It's marked a crossover... what, exactly, were you expecting if not a mixture of Harry Potter and LotR? I have no idea what the second paragraph means.

Oh, hi again. Yeah, I you got me. I inserted myself into the LotR world so that I could demonstrate how my amazing magic could fix all of the problems. There's nothing Harry Potter at all here. But wait, didn't you just complain it was a Fusion?

Some people got rather angry over chapter 9.


Finally, not 'Worst' by any stretch of the imagination. But while I was looking through my reviews I found this guy and felt he deserved more appreciation:

 

Lolwut.

If I was far older or if she was far younger I would go there.

 

Something tells me that
Constructive criticism
Should not be haiku

 

It totally should
Reviews will be pleasantly
Passive aggressive

 

Terrible haikus
Have no weather word in centre
And therefore are wrong.

Seriously guys,
If you're going to haiku,
Haiku properly.

 

This review for my fic had me frown hard:

I always appreciate critique, but I find myself baffled at what it would take to have this reviewer's thirst for "things happening" satisfied. It was the one time when I felt kind of offended.

I'm guessing he read
Too many Indy Harrys
He wants one from me

FriedIce, lol wut
They haiku'd by proper rules
You didn't keep structure

 

Seriously, dude
Work off traditional rules
Not modern nonsense

Does no one understand irony?

 

So today I learned
That "seriously" has three
fucking syllables

Goddamnit English
Been learning it for so long
Still I fail like this

 

Wait mate. What you on?
'Seriously' really has
Four syllables.

 

I meant "serious" :facepalm I'll just stop now before I dig myself an even deeper grave.

 

I've accumulated a few fun ones in the... oh my god, it's actually been a year.

 

There's this guy called geetac who always gave me one lined reviews for every chapter I wrote.

Every once in a while, I would see his review on other stories, and it would be the same line every time.

 

Wow. They know what they want, don't they? Still, the customer's always right (you filthy rascal?).

 

Regarding Newcomb's bombastic drop, I was just typing this:

Only on FFN, biggest fanfic shite.

Then I saw I made a mistake. Then I thought about it and decided there was no mistake after all.

Holy shit, I don't know what's more lolworthy here, this person's lack of sarcasm awareness or the weight they assign to mashed potatoes.