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Fanfiction's Worst Summaries v10.0

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Jun 10, 2016.

  1. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Death Eater

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    Except he's the King thanks to his "father" Robert Baratheon. His entire claim, which the full might of the Lannisters and Tyrells are tied to, are based on that. The only reason anyone would anyone even need to legitimize him is if he lost the War of the Five Kings and he was formally declared a bastard born of incest, and if that happens there's no way in hell Joffrey, a potential threat to the person who just took the Throne from him, would ever be legitimized a Lannister in any way. He'd much more likely be killed or sent to the Wall, where he'd be known as a Waters and not a Lannister.

    And that's not to mention the fact that he isn't just any old bastard. His mother was a Queen that specifically cuckolded the King, and his father was a member of the Kingsguard, whose supposed to be celibate and loyal to the King, who broke both significant vows by aiding in said cuckolding with his own sister. He and his parents all broke a whole bunch of laws and taboos, and anyone that formally considered him a bastard and not a king is all but obligated to want him dead, or sworn to the Night's Watch if they're feeling merciful for the kid.
     
  2. Silirt

    Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Oh, the circumstances under which he would be legitimized are virtually impossible, I can really only think that Stannis might do it, and only out of a borderline fanatical dedication to the truth, and send him to the Wall anyway. This is by no means a likely circumstance, but we're talking about a stupid fanfiction anyway.
     
  3. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator

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    I don't know what you guys are talking about. This is pure poetry.
     
  4. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    Sigh. "DumbOldDork". Ron "Hunger" Weasley. Molly "Howler" Weasley. Ginny "Fangirl" Weasley. I couldn't help but stop and stare.
     
  5. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Death Eater

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    I actually find it strangely hilarious how it explicitly states which characters will or won't be Bashed, but forgot to tell us what the story is actually about. Yeah, the summary talks about Harry Potter "the way I'd have done it," but what does that actually mean, other than the author really hates Dumbledore and the Weasleys?
     
  6. Psychotic Cat

    Psychotic Cat Chief Warlock

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    Out of curiosity as to where a story could go from a start like that, I had a look.

    It's down, the answer is always down, why did I ever doubt that.

    First paragraph has Lord Potter, and 'Hadrian.' Second Paragraph has James reminiscing on his 'Aunt Minnie' catching him sneaking catnip into Dumbledores Trousers. Beyond that my courage failed me and I could read no more.
     
  7. Shadow Shaman

    Shadow Shaman Third Year

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    Too!Many!Exclamations!
     
  8. Silirt

    Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I fail to understand the point of the convention. It doesn't save space or anything.
    Simultaneously, can anyone deny that the summary conveys exactly what kind of story you can expect to read? Secondly, I have it that this was published nineteen hours ago. That's one hell of a snipe, Temüjin.
     
  9. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    I used a double recurve bow. ^_^

    Edit: I often search for new Harry/Daphne fics. This just happened to be a new one with those characters.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2019
  10. Majube

    Majube Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Searching without the >10k word filter? Bold choice, lol
     
  11. Shadow Shaman

    Shadow Shaman Third Year

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    Of course it's a Harry/Daphne fic.
     
  12. Pathological Liar

    Pathological Liar Second Year

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    Why isn't 'Hadrian 'over yet? And why do they want to rename Harry?
     
  13. Shadow Shaman

    Shadow Shaman Third Year

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    I suppose "Harry" is too common of a name for them. It would have to Hadrian or Harold for some idiotic reason or their entire tale falls apart.
     
  14. kira and light

    kira and light Seventh Year

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    Pretty sure it is just a lazy way to distinguish lame canon Harry from the new "badass" Harry the author crafted
     
  15. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    Following the... discussion generated by my previous contribution, I present Genghiz Khan's Corollary to Betteridge's Law of Headlines. Briefly:
    My corollary is: "In case the headline is a fanfiction title or summary, it can be answered by a yes". Case in point:
     
  16. Sataniel

    Sataniel High Inquisitor

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    - What adventures await Harry this year?
    - Yes
     
  17. chiefnewo

    chiefnewo Second Year DLP Supporter

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    I didn't even make it through the first paragraph. The first three sentences were pure torture. I then did a quick skim and noticed the consistent misspelling of Gryffindor as "Gryfindor". I guess being a "grammarian" excuses you from getting basic things correct!
     
  18. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    And doesn't that describe 90% of fanfiction out there? ^_^
     
  19. Pathological Liar

    Pathological Liar Second Year

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    More like 95% of the fanfics out there.
     
  20. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Alexandra Potter Isadora Xander by E13I7UI1411 reviews
    Alexandra Potter (fem Harry) was kidnapped by Wormtail after she "Killed" Voldemort. Everyone believes her to be dead. Alexandra was found by a muggle cop. With the help of her wizard husband they raise Alexandra, now Isadora Xander. Her secret stays hidden until her old name is drawn from the Goblet of Fire. Now her secret is out. Will she be able to confront her past? No femslash
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 50,749 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 85 - Updated: May 24 - Published: May 8, 2017 - [Katie B., OC] Harry P., Lily Evans P.
    --- Post automerged ---
    That name, oh boy.
     
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