He did warn you.

 

I found hot candidate for worst summary. Its one before it got changed to following:

Training for the Job
By: Desaix
NaruSaku. Summary removed due to too many complaints.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Adventure - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Chapters: 75 - Words: 451,001 - Reviews: 2,892 - Favs: 2,427 - Follows: 1,738 - Updated: Jan 28, 2014 - Published: Jun 27, 2005 - id: 2456403

 

I think it's a great summary actually. It tells me right off the bat that the fic isn't worth reading.

 

Then we should rename this thread to perfect summaries as about 80% of posts here perfectly capture how terrible these fics are.

Also I found another gem, could somebody explain how this managed to get so many favourites?

Legendary Bloodlines by Jay3000 reviews

naruto was attack by Itachi after he killed is family and leaving him to die. now because of him naruto gain a powerful bloodline and awaken a his own bloodline. naruto x lot of women, WARNING lots of lemon and violence completed. Part 1.5 is out it tittles 'Legendary Bloodline Naruto of the MistRated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 191,596 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 1,974 - Follows: 1,297 - Updated: Mar 15, 2013 - Published: Feb 5, 2012 - [Naruto U., Ayame, Mei T., Temari] - Complete

 

A Tale Of Two Brothers by Rikida reviews After their parents death, Sirius gets the guardianship over his brother and is determined to rescue Regulus from the Death Eaters' grip. Marauders' Era. Warning: Spanking. Don't like, don't read.Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 125,761 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 6h ago - Published: Mar 4 - Sirius B., Regulus B.

Isn't he 16 or 17 here though? Some people.

 

I don't really see what's wro-

God fucking damn it.

 

The Making Of A Legend book 1 By: Reader Of Fate After Arriving At Prof.Oaks Lab Late and Receiving No Pokemon Ash Save And Heals A Wonded Mew. As A Thankyou He Receives A Mew Egg And Begins His Journey To Be A Pokemon Master And Top Coordinator The Meets New People And Pokemon (AshxHarem) (Smart Ash) (Aura Ash)
Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - [Ash K./Satoshi, Domino, May/Haruka] Mew - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,442 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 79 - Updated: Apr 9 - Published: Aug 23, 2015 - id: 11465012

He capitalises every word in the story as well.

 

Okay, I won't touch on the inherent banality that runs tepidly rampant in these types of stories, because this is about summaries, not content.

If it had said "Harry and Ginny's engagement, their wedding, and everything in between." that would make sense. There is room, between those two events, for more details. It's not a sentence, but at least it's a list of items that makes sense.

But that's not what it said.

Harry and Ginny's journey from their engagement to their wedding IS everything in between. That journey we're talking about? That IS the in between; you cannot get more 'betwixt' than that. There is no quark-like subatomic particle of 'between' that is not already covered by the "journey from to."

There's nothing like bollixing up a one-sentence summary (well... except introducing spelling and/or grammatical errors into the title, itself, which falls firmly into "you had one job" territory).

(Yes, I used "bollixing." I like that it draws a clear delineation between a word that means "you fucked up" and one that means "and now I'm chewing you out for fucking up." Just be thankful I'm not one of those sad jackasses who thinks "bullocks" is a British swear word and not a description of what's in your barn.)

Fucking what?

If you need a textbook example of what it looks like when someone tries to sound profoundly poetic by cramming so much florid prose into their writing that they stop making any fucking sense at all, grammatical or otherwise, then this is your lucky day.

Part of their username means red, but even it is threatening to turn purple with all of this bullshit prose.

Edit:

Ye gods... You'd think that would be as tedious to implement as it is to read, but maybe he used a built-in feature of his text editor to do it.

 

So this happened.

 

Oh god.

I shouldn't have clicked the link.

I've read some weird shit over the years, but I think Harry calling Hermione "Hermione-neechan" is probably the cringiest thing I've ever encountered.

 

Hermione-neko-neechan

 

I was perusing the SW/HP crossover section in hopes of finding a gem. Instead I found a pet peeve and a bad summary.

Spiraling Steam and Broomstick Wood by jitterygummy reviews
Sixth year Hogwarts student Rey is focused on winning the next Quidditch match, but while brewing amortentia, she realizes she has feelings for rival player Ben Solo. Star Wars Hogwarts AU.
Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,008 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 17h ago - Published: Aug 22 - [Rey, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo] Finn

A House Divided by mary.stucki12 reviews
Twins one Jedi, one Witch must learn how to act as sisters to protect Hogwarts from the Voldemort/Sith Alliance. OCs included. The first two chapters express both points of view. Chapter Three (3) introduces the true pattern of every other chapter, odds for Chloe and evens for Bess. All the flames have forced me to remind people: stress CHAPTER THREE. Weekly updates (usually)
Rated: T - English - Chapters: 100 - Words: 85,805 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 17 - Updated: Sep 2 - Published: Feb 9, 2014

100 chapters

 

No it didn't. I refuse to believe that it did, as doing otherwise might result in further psychological trauma.

858 words a chapter.... Spec-tac-u-lar.

Even my attention span is longer than that.

Give it 3500 words, minimum, or go home. Nobody wants to read whatever verbal diarrhea dribbles out of someone's ears in the two minutes they are in front of a keyboard.

 

Two years of weekly updates for only six reviews is a certain sort of perseverance, at least.

 

There is nothing more encouraging than spelling error in title

and wild cliches.

 

Lord's challenges by Potterlord9999 reviews
What would happen if Harry discovered he was a metamorphmagus and had to be betrothed to several females including Neko Hermione(part cat,from the Polyjuice potion incident),Pansy Parkinson and Minerva Mcgonagall? Very huge Ron and Molly Weasley as well as Albus Dumbledore bashing,all 3 manipulative
Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 45,546 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 438 - Updated: Sep 4 - Published: Apr 4 - Harry P., Hermione G., Daphne G.

 

With how many repeats there are in these summaries it's almost like someone built a Markov chain to create shitty summaries

 

I know that these summaries aren't as bad as some others posted here already, but these are the ones that jumped out at me from just the first and second pages of the most recently updated stories on ff.net. I mean, these are just from the first two pages on the largest site for fanfiction. Bloody hell.

Then people go and do shit like this. This leaves me no hope for the improvement of fanfiction writers, not that there ever was any anyways.

Goddamn. 1,628 favourites, 2,099 follows and 777 reviews for this? I'm done.

 

For everyone who loves a good Naruto fic I got a good one for you.


Naruto: Learning His True Self -:- By : TheDogSage -:- Published : September 17, 2016
Updated : September 19, 2016 3:28 pm -:- Rated : Adult + -:- Chapters : 2 -:- Reviews : 8 -:- Dragon prints : 2821
Located : Naruto > General

Naruto fears getting intimate with Hinata because of his small dick and lack of sexual stamina. However, when she finds out, she's supportive and understanding. But a talk with Kushina helps her understand the truth of her boyfriend, and how it's up to her to help him realize that truth about himself.

Content Tags : 3Plus Abuse AFFO Anal Bi B-Mod ChallengeFic Dom DP Ds Exhib Fet Fingering HJ Humil M/F M/M Oral Peg Rim SandM Toys Trans WIP

 

Not touching that with a ten-foot pole. Still, what great truth is behind Naruto having a small dick?