Getting the Characters Right by Asphyxiatedmuse

A collection of episodes involving a crazy talk show, therapy sessions, and anything imaginable! HPRW, DMHG, SSFD, and other pairings vary, SLASH, my smiley faces are cut in half
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-1-07 - Published: 10-1-07

Yes.. SS/FD..

The Violet Effect by Kyranae Solan

You've seen stories where Harry has a twin... but what about Dudley? Let's start over from the very beginning and see what happens.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,874 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-12-07 - Published: 11-12-07


I really do want to know.

And this is what you can expect to find by searching for 'hawt'


A Complete Collection of Cliché Dramione Plots » by Mistress of Craziness reviews

[ON HIATUS] Draco is depressed? Hermione is suddenly HAWT? They have to share a common room? Be Potion partners? Detention? Go to the Yule Ball together? Ohmgee, she's pregnant...? Sheesh, how much more could there be? The answer: tons. [DMHG]
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,304 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 2-25-07 - Published: 7-20-06

My Chemical Severus » by elrondistehrapist reviews

Hello tis is the sequal to My Kemical Phantom! A relly HAWT gurl who is the twin sista of Keira Nightly showz up at Hogwartz cuz she is as smart as she is a HAWTIE. And then Severus Rape falls in luv w her. Can she change this stoopid emo looser?
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,002 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 9-21-07 - Published: 9-17-07​

That Damn Essay » by SecretShowMonster reviews

SO is Ron really Harry's Untouchable Autumn Boy?what will happen in this teh hawtness love story between the two HAWT leading boys? WARNING you suxx0rs, will contain slash, please dont flame me! i burn easily!
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,097 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-25-05 - Published: 10-25-05


Just stfu and burn already?
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This has already been posted. By me.

Inferis, I love your sig.

This is actually a parody. A rather good one, actually. Lulzy.

My contribution

Age gap » by VampireFreak reviews

Harry had always wanted her, she was the first to hug him and make him feel special... when she gives him one night alone, something was created. MWHP COMPLETE
Complete - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,857 - Reviews: 58 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 5-21-05​

Do you want an excerpt?

(Listens to dismayed screams)

...No, guess not. It's very creepy, though.

 

Not a good comparison. I'd wager 7110 of those 7118 reviews are flames from slash haters, goth haters, "preps", emo haters, grammar nazis and general bandwagoners. Only about 8 reviews are positive, and submitted by only the most hardcore of slash/goth fangirls.

 

I didn't trudge through the reviews enough to notice any structure, but the story is such a disgraceful piece that I am amazed at the amount of reviews.

You have to seriously try to make it that bad. And you have to generate godly amounts of hate to get 7000+ flames.

 

Flaming "My Immortal" is a chapterly ritual for some people, apparently.

 

I usually lurk, but damn I need to add this:

It isn't a summary as much as a quote from a discussion on the gay dumbledore thing. I always thought people were screwing around about the internet lowering your IQ.

 

10 ways to propose to Draco by 0Gothic-Beauty0 reviews
This is based around a couple I know that have just got engaged. So congrats to them. This story will have ten parts but if I don’t get the reviews I wont bother! so plz review,if you like all my other humour stories you should like this one! thanks​

First of all why would I care about a proposal to Dracy Poo.... And is that even a summery??

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with Ninjasby temariluv reviews
This is my first fanfic. Harry PotterXNaruto. You can basically tell what the stories about from the title. Uchiha Aimaru, OC, is hired by Dumbledore to guard the students during the Triwizard Tournament. Mostly based off the book. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!​

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was:
I am Ninja, he is Ninja, she is Ninja too,
I am Ninja, he is Ninja, and I believe that you are Ninja too.

 

Wrong thread.

 

Author: YaYaGoddess 2Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - OC & George W. - Reviews: 18 - Published: 10-04-07 - Updated: 10-04-07 - Completeid: This story is post Deathly Hallows and has absolutely nothing to do with any I've written before. It was born from a challenge made by a member of a Teen Club I run at the library where I work. I had to write a romance involving George Weasley as the surviving twin. I was forbidden to mention my favorite character (Snape) even once (although I do manage to get around that in a sneaky way). And, of course, the kids making the challenge get to have the OC's named after them. These are the rules of the group. To learn the origins of this story, read Half-Blood Prince, pages 327-328 again. Fred & George, it seems, were not averse to going into town to flirt with muggle girls in shops. Obviously, any romantic ties they had to Angelina or Alicia were tenuous at best.
As to my story. Yes, my main character is an OC. Don't like OC characters? Then don't read it. Yes, she comes from an abusive family. HEY!!! Didn't JK use that old plot schtick??!! Wow! Just like Harry himself! So, if you do not like that particular plot element, again, then you must also hate Harry Potter books cuz Harry is an abused and neglected orphan. So, maybe you can just hit the back button now. Thanks! My group writes about OC's. WHY? Because it teaches skills in character development. Canon characters are already well developed.


Once the summary is accessed, this is what appears:



2. To Love a Twin » reviewsRaised in an abusive family in Ottery St. Catchpole, Muggle Kira was swept off her feet by Fred Weasley. But now he is dead and she is having his baby. She thinks all is lost when George steps up to the plate. Rated T, mild profanity & violence

 

you make your own destiny » by laica-27
Harry and Hermione find out that Voldemort is Hermiones father and he didnt kill Harrys parents im no good a summarys story is better.
Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,822 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-13-07 - Published: 11-13-07

'nuff said

 

"Never have I seen such leavings!"




-Templeton the Rat, "Charlotte's Web"





Here's some "leavings" for you, courtesy of this Sue-thor



Harry & Hally Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
By Griffyndorlady
A/N: This is my version of the Harry Potter series. I was supposed to have Goddessmoonlady to help by being my beta, however since she is too busy on her own work I have decided to wing this and see how it goes.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series JKR does; only several characters here are of my own creation with the exceptional help of GML, a few ideas from Saerry Snape (thank you) and a bit of Michael Serpeants as well as others. My version of the broomstick formation has come from the worst witch motion picture. God give me the strength to make this work.




Chapter 1 the Profiles of Harry and Hally Potter and Draco Malfoy
Draco Malfoy: Silver-Grey eyes, Platinum blonde hair, pale flawless skin.
Height: 6 feet and 2 inches tall
Hobbies: Quidditch, divination level 4 (third year), potions, charms, wizards duel, dark arts, astronomy (Year 4)
Friends; the Royal Slytherin Court (Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Pansy Parkinson)
Occupation: Seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch team
Date of Birth: April 1, 1987
Parents: Lucius Malfoy (father), Narcissa Malfoy (mother)
Siblings: Delia (baby sister comes in year 3)
Harry Potter: Raven black hair, emerald green eyes, tan flawless skin, lightening bolt scar on right side of forehead, Snake birthmark on upper right rear
Hobbies: Quidditch, charms, wizards duel, dark arts, holster making for wizarding wands, speaking parseltongue.
Friends: The Golden Trio (Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley)
Occupation: Seeker for Gryffindor Quidditch team
Hally Potter: Raven black hair with natural red streaks, chocolate brown eyes, tan flawless skin, snake birthmark on upper left rear, lightening bolt scar on left side of forehead.
Friends: part of the golden trio (Hermione Granger, Civil to Ronald Weasley)
Hobbies: Potions, divination level 2 (first year), astronomy (third year), wizards duel, dark arts, Quidditch
Occupation: Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team
Parents: James Potter (Father), Lillian Evans (Mother)
Parent later in years: Severus Snape Adopted Father to the twins
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Draco Malfoy’s sure name in Hogwarts: The Slytherin Prince

WITF is a sure name?

Harry’s and Hally’s sure name in Hogwarts: The Lord And Lady Hex
The Hexes: Fred and George Weasley (until their seventh year) Blaise Zabini (Miss Journal) A.K.A (black widow)
Hexers domain: Hexers Corner (within Slytherin common room until fifth year to be moved to Hexers Hall)
A/N: So there you have it the profiles of the main characters. Next chapter the beginning of the twins’ journey after Voldemort’s’ down fall.

 

Stumbled across this "gem" last night, and reached by the nearest sharp-but-rusty tool available (a spoon) to gouge my eyes out with.

So many things wrong it, I can't even begin to fathom how it's generated more than 200 reviews.

 

Pfft. Look at this.
This was not collected. I merely copied nearly all of this hag's stories and posted them.


A Story of Passion and Love » reviews

Harry and his boyfriend are in love and have been happy together for six years but then along comes Draco and makes Harry feel a passion hotter then he ever felt before. In the end will he chose love or passion? SLASH​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,291 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 1-14-07 - Published: 12-20-06​

3. I’m still a boy! » reviews

Another one of those girl!Harry Fics but this time with a twist! SLASH DMHP maybe or SSHP haven’t decided yet really…​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,695 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 1-9-07 - Published: 12-30-06​

4. Voices reviews

Draco had to live with torture, rape and pain worse then any living being should have to suffer from his own father because he couldn't kill the man he loved. EXTENDED VERSION​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,760 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-2-06 - Published: 12-2-06​

5. Angel With The Scabbed Wings, Jaded » reviews

Ron is deaf, a result of the war, Snape is ordered to help him but is not totally unwilling. In the end will they kill or kiss each other? Slash, SSRW BWNL​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,473 - Reviews: 94 - Updated: 10-1-06 - Published: 6-6-05​

6. All those little voices reviews

Draco had to live through torture, rape and pain from his own father because he couldn't kill the man he loved. HPDM noncon LMDM ONESHOT​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,147 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-31-06 - Published: 7-31-06​

7. The Malfoy Family: Dinnertime reviews

Another glimpse at Dracos life and now extended family! Draco Neville Slash Mpreg Fluff OneShot​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,358 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-23-06 - Published: 6-23-06​

8. Appreciation reviews

Ever felt that whatever you do it's just never good enough? Harry feels that every single day. Why can’t his friends appreciate anything he does for them? OneShot! NO SLASH​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-10-06 - Published: 6-10-06​

9. Sweet reviews

A fluffy lovestory, so sweet it's almost disgusting! PWP SLASH​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,583 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-5-06 - Published: 6-5-06​

10. Hate Will Have to Be Enough reviews

Draco will never hold the man he loves, never kiss him or make love too him, so he has to settle for what he can get, hate. SLASH DMHP One Shot​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-27-06 - Published: 5-27-06​

11. The Malfoy Family: Playtime reviews

A glimpse out of Draco's life with his family. Draco Neville SLASH MPREG FLUFF ONESHOT​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 3-21-06 - Published: 3-21-06​

12. Proposal reviews

Fluffy proposal and sugarsweet confusion BWDM Oneshot and slash!​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 646 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-20-05 - Published: 4-20-05​

Faith in humanity has taken yet another plunge. A small one, compared to elrondtehrapist, but still.

 

Is it really murder if they are asking for it? That author above is screaming, "Help me commit suicide without my consent or permission!"

 

No no no.. the authors is screaming for kitchenware torture!!

 

OMFG That author just killed my inner child after raping it horribly.

 

CAFFEINE AND ALCOHOL INDUCED » by Rc reviews

OK! so i was drinking a coke and alcohol drink while writing this. But Ginny and Voldermort are snogging on a couch. Draco and Harry have isssssues(still drinking by the wayy can't reallly feel my fingers) and um....SWEET TRANSVITITE!
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 3-29-03 - Published: 1-23-03​

 

That story makes no sense whatsoever, in any way, shape or form. How is it that someone even bothered giving 23 reviews to that sad excuse for literature?

Edit: you really have to check out the rest of her stories. She has 22 other such wonderful pieces.

 

There's an excerpt from the CAFFEINE AND ALCOHOL INDUCED:

Other fic's from this author include:

I'm a wizard » reviews

Ok this is Eminem's Song, and others.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 931 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 3-29-03 - Published: 2-10-03​

Kiss Bracelets » reviews

yes Draco and Ginny again! new fad at Hogwarts! Kiss bracelets! And Ginny's in the mix of it all. And Draco's got his two cents aswell. Ah the sweet kisses of it all! review monduier.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 2-28-03 - Published: 2-24-03

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The chibi adventures of K-chan and V-chan! » reviews

This story is about The adventures of K-chan(Knives) and V-chan(Vash) and of course the DONUT O' SWEETNESS GOD! beware this story has no point and is insanely stupid.^-^ thank you!
Trigun - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,599 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 1-4-03 - Published: 7-31-02

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I feel a sudden urge to grab a piece of rusty kitchenware.

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As someone who likes Eminem, I take that as a deep insult.