Stop by Theo Bringadinger

James begs Sirius to stop. MPreg. Slash.
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 377 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-19-07 - Published: 3-19-07

As disturding as this sounds I found this summary particularly funny. I honestly have no idea why.

 

I have no problem with slash. It doesn't exactly float my boat, but I can deal with it. Mpreg, however, is about as low as it gets in fandom. Nothing screams "I'm a sex-depraved 13-year-old fan girl who's too fat to garner any attention" like a fic about mpreg. Behold, my raving insensitivity to others!

 

Flirt With Me by I love my Malfoy Ferret
REWRITTEN sequel to ‘Another Checkmark On The Bedpost’. Warning this is M for a reason! SLASH! HD! LEMON! No flamers, I warned you!
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-11-07 - Published: 4-11-07​

Ahhh ... this is a summary where everything fits. The author's name, the cap-letters, its prequel, and its word count. Just one of the usual slash grannies posting hawt buttsecks. A visit to her profile reveals eight stories with the same content and exchangeable taglines.

Iris
And I'd give up forever to touch you,'cause I know that you feel me somehow. slash.
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 220 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 10-26-06 - Published: 10-26-06​

I had to look into this one to check if it also contains HD - and it does. The spectrum of the stories lets me wonder if she really had written the stuff herself or if she had asked one of her grandchildren to code a short script. I'm sure even my old 386 is able to ejaculate at least two HD-oneshots per hour.

 

...what the hell is does the LEMON! tag mean? ...or is this one of those "You're better off not knowing" kinda things?

 

click here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lemon



Addendum:



Encyclopedia Dramatica redirects "Lemon" to a page I really don't want to link here ...

... and Deathinapinkboa and Giovanni are certainly able to find it without further help

 

Not really a summary for a fic, but I think the worst thing that an author can do in his/her summary is to put the words "I SUCK AT SUMMARIES."

Why would anyone read a fic when the author can't write a simple summary of their own work. If they can't summarize their own story I am pretty sure they can't write a story.

 

You know what I really hate?

"NOOBS THAT SUCK AT POSTING."

For example, you Kage.

When you post, be sure to read through the thread carefully and make sure that you aren't repeating the same statement for the 3rd time.

The reason you went with such a crappy and generic post is because by going with it you were sure that you would be accepted by the majority who are of the same mindset as you in that situation and hopefully win over some form of crappy internet acception.

Which by the way is really lame.

Don't look for affection on the internet. Try the irc. They have all the love you'll ever need.

 

... with that kind of love, who needs pain?

 

1. Just Another Story by hermy permy reviews
Potter! What are you doing here? Screamed my beautiful redhead. I live here, Evans...Read if you want to know more...
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 26,022 - Reviews: 130 - Updated: 4-20-07 - Published: 9-28-06

*Yet another person who hasn't discovered how to quote.*


14. Trouble Always Finds Me by cocodog reviews
Anna De’lore is quick witted, has a very sharp tongue and is every thing Draco Malfoy hates, oh and not to mention she’s also a Gryffindor, can the two of them ever get along!
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,662 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-20-07 - Published: 4-3-07

*Two words. MARY. SUE.*

15. Voldemort's Son by Blue Eyes Black Dragon reviews
So what happens when you have the mega star son of the Dark Lord? Read and review for the answer!
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,844 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 4-20-07

*WTF?*

25. Looking Back by SpontaneousInsanity reviews
Katie and her friends made one promise to each other in school and that was to be best friends forever. Now Katie hasn't talked to any of them for four years and as she looks back she wishes more then anything that she could have them back.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,183 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-20-07 - Published: 4-7-07

*What the fuck does this have to do with Harry Potter?*

Kingdom Come (MV) by vider le demarreur | Reviews - 6 | Words: 5648 | Completed: No
This is a Draco/girl!Harry story very loosely based on the movie Swan Princess. Princess Henrietta and Draco have an arranged marriage.
Chapters: 5 Published: 2007.04.10
Category: Slash > Male/Male Updated: 2007.04.18
Warnings: Non-con (rape), Contains Slash Sex Genres: Romance
Characters: Harry/Draco

*WHY?!*

3. Harry from Da Hood by Zaln reviews
[AU]You've seen it all. Punk!Harry, Goth!Harry, Abductedbyaliensandraped!Harry. But you aint seen this. Dumbledore's little plan with the Duresley's failed, and Harry grows up in a place far from Surrey! Newark, New Jersey. A.K.A. Brick City.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,922 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 3-31-07 - Published: 3-31-07

*...It speaks for itself...*

6. Shadow in the Night by Mrs. Tyler reviews
Holly is Harry's Forgotten and abused, suicidle twintriplet sister. she dosent know she has a brother, and has been lead to think her parents where Druggies who sold her for more dope. Abuse, suicidle thoughts, Independent!harry goth!Ginny
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-14-07 - Published: 12-9-06

*No comment*

 

Heres some more.

Wait so its about two people(OC's) that we dont know and how they fall in lurve?

Sounds like a SI to me.

No I dont think I will...

 

Yes - this is my story and yes, the summary sucks. I can't write summaries to save my life (which is why I should've had someone else write my summary but, of course, I took a stubborn pill and didn't)

1. Harry Potter and the Search for Truth
Post5thYrHarry is reeling not only in the aftermath of the prophecy and the loss of his godfather but with a secret he doesn't want known. His Aunt decides to find out the truth.. and the action begins.. see warnings in first chapter! Manip!Dumbledore
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12281 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 5-26-06 - Published: 4-1-06

(bodes well for the story doesn't it?)

 

At Least it's a decent length... post it in the 'For review' section, we'll tear it apart for you there

 

OH great, just what I want, lol!

I'll THINk about it but not until I decide for sure whether I want to continue it or not.

Or maybe I should do that the other way around, lol. I can already think of two or three points you would all tear apart.

In for a penny, in for a pound eh?

 

Okie. I just skimmed through the two chapters (didn't read all that closely). And I can tell you, don't bother posting it here. Seriously. Nothing good will come of it.

For those wondering, I'll say that so far, it's just suddenly nice Petunia/Dursleys, and Harry sniveling and crying, stuttering every word while wallowing away in guilt and sorrow. Toss in a (highly likely Mary Sue) original character American woman who was Lily's best friend and then to top it off with one of the worsts twists I've heard in a long while, apparently Pettigrew raped Harry in the graveyard at the end of fourth year. I'm not sure if deformed baby Voldemort was watching on and cheering, or maybe it was after Voldemort was reborn and all the Death Eaters got to watch.

Either way, Belladonna16, just do everyone a favor and don't put that up around here.

 

I know we've steered a bit away from the topic (maybe try out the 'awesomely bad fanfiction' thread to discuss your story), but I have to respond to that:

 

Yup. And did I mention that after Harry admitted he was raped to his aunt and Remus, what's the next thing they do? Call in Arthur, Bill, Amelia Bones, and fricking SNAPE. Just to tell everyone all about it.

Okie. Back on topic.

I think we can all agree that even part 1 and part 3 were steaming as well.

 

I wasn't planning on it, darlings!

And here is my submission for another 'worst summary' - I mean really! I love the no punctuation run-on sentence type of submission... really!

3. the worst father in the world by reviews
harry's father james is a teacher at hogwarts but even though the harry has no friends and every body hates him.When harry gets a painful injury that he refuses to get healed will he be in too much pain to avoid james at all costs.do not own harry potter.
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 739 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-24-07 - Published: 4-23-07

 

Rather scary, isn't it?

 

This one really weirds me out. It starts like your run-on-the-mill Severitus, but then comes the warning. And I'm thinking to myself, why the hell would anyone put something like that into their summary, is it really that central to the plot??
Looking at the Author Profile (7 other stories with the same warning), I realise this guy really has a problem. This isn't even slash!

 

Damn! I can't remember the name of the story, but it was another Severitus with the exact same spank warning. I think it was on FF.net, but I'm not sure. Wasn't by the same author though. Something about Harry needing to be reprimanded for being bad and snape being the best for the job. Anyone know what I'm on about?