That's like eating a whole plate of shit that was covered in spaghetti sauce, then saying that the sauce tasted good. You just ate SHIT!

Oh, I beg to differ, my little lady--you ARE a slut.

 

Sigh. Another alternative universe AbusiveDursley/gothicHarry/chemical dependency/suicidalHarry/cutting fic.

Falling » by Nyxelestia reviews

After Sirius's death, Harry changes dramatically, and Hogwarts gets a shock from it. Two defense teachers, one rising dark lord, and one teenage hero will all combine! Goth, mentioned drugs, smoking, drinking, cutting, mentioned suicide and child abuse


Lovely.

 

We know how the Author Intends it, but this one actually won't be so bad if the Gothic-Drugging-Smoking-Cutting-Suicidal bitch was dudly, The schools shock was Harry growing a pair, Snape was the abused child, and Dumbledore was the drinker

^.^

 

Eeeeew. That's done way to often. It's one of the plotelements ending with a Harry/Snape bonding scene.

 

Here is a next one:

 

Of Slings and Arrows » by the original Pe reviews
Harry potter has been thrown into Azkaban for a crime he did not commit, and then rescued by the strangest ppl. A journy to belong. AU begins at the end of fourth year, HPXmen evo crossover COMPLETE! Pre HBP

It's deplorable, but not enough that it didn't get a thousand reviews. What really got me was that I think I hallucinated, and the 'v' in 'evo' was an 'm' instead. Weird stuff.

Edit: It is apparently the birthday of someone with the username of the fic's title. If he happens to be the author of that particular story, my bad, but I'd only delete this post and repost it tomorrow. Anyway, Happy Birthday. It's the best that I can give to someone over the Internet.

 

This was one of those summaries that just scared me. How does someone convince themselves to write a story based on this premise?

Forget the slash or possibility of Voldemort turning into a fudge-packing Potter fanboy. How can you respect him for taking Ron Weasley polyjuice? I'm sorry but your Dark Lord title gets yanked the moment you even consider that idea.

 

Holy shit, that one's truly deserving of a WTF.

Still, at least it's in the humor genre, though it's hardly an excuse.

 

Watching You by Nohbdy reviews
ha, it is horrible... akdhfi hi efh ou rhafi jakERj khfie
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-23-00 - Published: 9-23-00

 

So, all the conflict is gone? Cool.

 

She sucks at grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and, yes, she sucks at summaries, too.

The key to a new life » by queen.of.queens

harry is in his sixth summer Not compatible with dh.Every1 who is dead in books 16 is dead.Lots of cliches, some people do come back to life.goin 2 b a long story.lots of pairingSi didnt want 2 leave any1 out!But they will be gradualHPGW SBOC JPLE HGDM
Fiction Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,662 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-30-07 - Published: 7-27-07​

 

In short, she can't write.

 

This is actually a rather amusing and decently written fic.

 

Stand My Ground by Phoenix Vengeance reviews

What if instead Harry was accepted to a different school in his fourth year and accepted and Cedric didn't die? This is what would happen if the fourth year never happened and both Harry & Cedric found love with each other through the hardships to come...​

Fiction Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,670 - Reviews: 46 - Updated: 7-31-07 - Published: 7-4-07​

I am sure there are a lot of 'hardships' involved. ​

 

Summer Confusion » by hpsbiggestfanever reviews

Ron visits Hermione over the summer.One year after DH.rons afraid to tell hermione the truth.vice versa! what happens when an old friend of hermione's and an old enemy try 2 tear the 2 apart?Chapter 7 up sum HPxGW NLxLL HPDH SPOILERS. rated T 2 be safe!​

Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,928 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 7-31-07 - Published: 7-28-07​

First page shit :| The title pretty much sums up my thoughts.​

Another Troublesome Twosome by MiSs HoLlYwOoD reviews

When a new girl shows up, she pairs off with her childhood best friend and Hogwarts never stood a chance. GWOFC and FWOFC. Rating may be raised later.​

Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,233 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-31-07 - Published: 7-31-07​

I don't understand the abbreviations x_x. Reeks of Mary-Sue too.​

​

Oh, I see - thanks.

 

I'm pretty sure that GWOFC is George Weasley/Original Female Character and FWOFC is Fred Weasley/Original Female Character. Two new OC girls for the twins. Although it could be Ginny Weasley/Original Female Character I suppose...

 

It could be the same chick. That sounds like the idea behind the story. Threesome action ftw?

 

This is a gem:

Femalius by CyberSerpent reviews

Oh...my..gawd...my first ever HP fic and I torture poor Draco like this...::sighs:: ok ok, summary. He gets turned into a grl by Ron's charm, and encounters some disabilities along the way...excuse me while I go dip my head in acid. ::trundles off:: ::aud
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,966 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 11-10-01 - Published: 11-10-01

​

I really appreciate her intention to solubilise her head. Sadly it comes a bit late, she should have done it before submitting this text.

EDIT: The story itself is just meh.

 

CyberSerpent must be a euphemism for e-cock.

 

5. Dragon's Tail » by WeasleyWench reviews

AUNonMagic: After a diagnosis of genital herpes, Harry falls into a world he knows nothing about. He meets a man called Dragon, and learns that life and love does go on in spite of the difficult times ahead. This fic contains cross dressing and slash.





This seriously falls into the category of what-the-fuck. Though I am not surprised that, Ginny I assume, has Herpes. 5/5 for realism.