Lulz. Nor could the author think of a good title, good summary, good anything at all.

 

The Lost Longbottom » by Elenatintil reviews In an attempt to recover their lord, Bellatrix and Barty Crouch kidnap the Longbottom's child, hoping to reverse the prophecy. They don't realize until 13 years later that the baby they took was the daughter, not the son. Cedric fans will enjoy! Mild TFiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,084 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 8-3-08 - Published: 7-24-08

Canonically, the Death Eaters don't seem to be that bright, but I would think that even they would be able to tell a boy from a girl!

16. imma Wiserd » by raveneagel reviews mi stori ritten by me about me goin 2 hogwartsFiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 23 - Words: 7,403 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 8-3-08 - Published: 7-23-08

Moron.

Wake Me Up When September Ends » by J.L.M Potter reviews AU. James and Lily are informed of the prophecy and believe that the life of their child is far more precious than the good of the wizarding world. They do not think that their newborn baby's life should be threatened and move into the muggle world.Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,370 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-3-08 - Published: 6-29-08

AKA. Lily and James grow brains.

Hogwarts and Hedgehogs » by hakuchi reviews Because I can, a Harry PotterSonic the Hedgehog crossover. On his first day back at Hogwarts, Harry is knocked unconcious by a large, strange jewel falling from the sky. Tell me if I should continue.Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-3-08 - Published: 4-20-06

Huh. Might belong more in WTF than here, but it's a stupid summary, anyway.

Who is the Father by cece1996 Cho finds out that she is pregnant? But who is the father. Is it Cedric, or is it Harry. Read this story to find out who it really is.Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,034 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 8-3-08 - Published: 8-3-08

*Dryly* No brainer. Last I heard, you couldn't get a girl pregnant by only kissing her.

 

I'm the only one that thinks the author of that fic is a 12 year-old? Children should be prohibited to place stories on the Internet...

 

Betrayal » by i-luv-potter78 reviews What happens when Harry is kidnapped from the abusive Dursleys by Voldemort. Why isn't he killing Harry and why does Harry have such a nice room.Will Harry escape back to Hogwarts or will he join Voldemort and become his heir.rated T for child abuse!Fiction Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,780 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 8-8-08 - Published: 8-3-08

But wait, theres more... I was morbidly curious, so I read it. It was so....silly it might have been a parady if I already didn't know it wasn't one.

Harry woke the next morning at 6:00 Am. What time did Voldmeort want me to get up asked Harry to himself. 'Well I won't kiss up to him! I'll just sleep some more' decided Harry in his head and fell back into sleep. Voldemort walked up to Harry's door at 7:53 Am to see if Harry was ready for breakfast with the deatheaters. He walked into the room to find Harry sleeping soundly on the bed. 'That brat decides to sleep in! I'll show him not to disobey me' thought Voldemort in rage and conjured a speaker and a microphone. He turned the dial up all the way to max and screamed in it "WAKE UP POTTER!!" Harry didn't move at all but slept soundly on.
Voldemort was confused if he was deaf or not but conjured up a bucket of ice water and tipped it over Harry. Harry shot up out of bed into the air screaming and landed on the floor with a thud. "Oh glad your up," said Voldmeort sarcastically. Harry glared daggers at him and let his head fall on the ground with a thud. "Get up already are you aware that I turned this speaker up to max and screamed wake up potter in your ear and you didn't even flinch," asked Voldmeort curiously. "You did what," asked Harry confused. "Wow are you deaf," asked Voldmeort mockingly. "NO!" "Well apparently because I told you to be up, showered, and dressed by eight 'o' clock and you've only completed one of those and its seven fifty nine!" Shouted Voldemort.

Can anyone even picture Voldemort acting this way? On a side note check out the authors profile if you dare...she's 13 and says her name is muffins? That, and her profile is a huge long list of copy/paste.


~Kitti

 

Now, I haven't read the story, and I might even consider doing so, but the summary itself just made me lol.

 

Harry's bond with Snape » by Danielle-hp reviews
**CHAPTER 3 UP NOW** Harry can finally live with Sirius, after a year of abuse. But devastating circumstances mean that Harry now has to decide? Snape or Suicide?
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,239 - Reviews: 35 - Updated:
9-1-02 - Published: 7-14-02​

Well, there are more options. He could just kill Snape. Or the author. Or both.



The reviews reveal the story taps the pulse of the age and helps readers work through their own problems:

 

@Dark Minion, just reading that "feedback" was enough to make parts of my brain curl up and whimper...

 

I smell a Mary-Sue of EPIC PROPORTIONS!

 

Holy crap, you guys can find some nasty stuff. Although, I bet if I skimmed the first page of Harry Potter fanfiction I could find stuff nearly as bad. Has anyone even read the entire works of My Immortal?

 

I'll see your Mary-Sue, and raise you this:

 

I'm sorry but my death incarnate beats your mutant with her hands tied behind her back.

 

Out of Element » by Hanley.C. reviews At sixteen Harper Cass finds himself in trouble after taking up a dare that ends up sending him overseas. Now in Britain as a Hogwarts transfer student he finds himself in over his head deeper than ever before. Femmeslash/Femslash/Girlslash/Yuri Slash OCFiction Rated: T - English - General/General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,271 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-11-08 - Published: 8-2-08

Wha?

Without you by moony-is-a-werewolf one-shot SSxHP the ending of HBP as i want it and the ending of the Elder Wand harry potter and the deathly hallows spoilers song-fic songs from rent: without you and your eyes .Complete - Fiction Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,303 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 8-11-08 - Published: 8-11-08

Nothing to say. Brain just exploded.

 

The Room » by deathpenity17 reviews
what if Sirius adcedently bits hermione in OOTP? VK STYLE! Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,867 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-08 - Published: 8-4-08

What the hell is she talking about?


Edit: Oh. He's a vampire. Of course.

 

Thing is, suiciders don't get to heaven (yes, yes, I shall simply assume she's christian).

A guy goes to Hogwarts, and all there is are four types of lesbianism? Poor sod...

Obviously ...


//Not adding any of my own. I couldn't willingly browse ffn like that ...

 

Harry Potter Goes to Colville » by Arianna Jane
This is what would happen If Daniel Radcliff and an average everyday girl hung out... Read Please. Some fighting scenes!
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,229 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 8-12-08 - Published: 8-11-08

Wait... I thought we were talking about Harry?

 

Okay, that was too funny for words. I almost have to check this fic out for the sheer badness of it. And did anyone else envision the above scene occurring with Voldemort in Monty Python-ish Mrs. Weasley costume, complete with a well stuffed brazier. Because I did and let me say, the image was something I'll treasure.

 

I reported the story. Fics about real persons are not allowed on ff.net. I doubt it will be deleted, but who knows.

EDIT: Links

 

13. To Live in Azkaban » by PadfootObsessed329 reviews In their will, James and Lily Potter stated that under no circumstances was their son to be removed from his Godfather’s care. Now with Sirius Black in Azkaban, Albus Dumbledore has a problem. Will he really have to allow Harry Potter to live in Azkaban? Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,745 - Reviews: 161 - Updated: 8-12-08 - Published: 11-23-05


I lol'd. The idea of someone (Dumbledore) even considering to leave a baby with the man who killed his parents in a prison... is absurd.

 

Shit made me lol