Hmm, found a few more today, thought I'd put them up and see what you thought...

Anyone fancy gagging with me?

 

Engorgio by Phoenix Torte Harry shows Draco a great use for a familiar spell...HPxDM, slash, yaoi, semi-crack, drabble.

...

Our Child » by demonumber666 reviews Draco/Hermione/Harry. Hermione finds out that she is pregnant and is unsure of how to tell her two lovers. But as it turns out there is a THIRD potential father! Drama ensues. Read&Review!

Hermione the slut? Sounds like one of those daytime talk shows. You ARE the father!

One Little Spark » by TheSaxophrenic reviews Toby Donato is not your average witch. She's an Electromancer, which means she has the power to control electricity. Starts before Prisoner of Azkaban. Please Read and Review!

Electromancer? Hello Mary-sue.


~Kitti

 

I guess I'll be unsubscribing from this C2...>.> "All it takes is one crack in the Hoover Dam for it to fall."

Edit: Here's another one, same C2...gah!

 

Book 1: Natures Secret reviews
Tristina Veganstroth was just a ordinary slave in Veganstroth Manor...untill a visit by a half giant named Hagrid changed everything
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,621 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-19-08 - Published: 4-19-08

VEGANSTROTH

VEGANSTROTH

VEGANSTROTH

 

I googled Veganstroth because I wondered if it was based on something else. It's not just a simple MarySue, it's a whole MarySueVerse. The author poses and posts everywhere under that name. Her character goes by the nickname Tiffany (that's also her Devian-Art profile) and has a twin sister Tina.

Some examples:

• The Tristina Veganstroth Chronicles
• Her Devian Art profile - with drawings of Tristina <- It's a Furry!
• Her RPG profile - "hello, my name is Tristina veganstroth, and I mainly RP about my adventures and battles against the evil Tarkama."
• She also draws comics - about "Adventures of Tiffany and Tina" of course.

 

w00t for a self-inserting author! Oh...wait...

/me facepalms

 

Drama! Angst! And Nail Polish! by Auphanim

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... There was a high school. And at that high school there was a fearsome group of cheerleaders, known only as Akatsuki. AU parody Naruto - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,693 - Reviews: 93 - Updated: 7-3-08 - Published: 7-7-06

I mean... I suspect that its supposed to be humorous. But what the hell...

 

Love lost & Found again » by gully88 reviews
Severus/Harry/Draco pairing. Harry leaves his lovers over a misunderstanding. A few years later they meet again. That night he was Pregnate with Snape child. Draco was pregnate with Harry child. Will they be a happy family? Angst Slash 3some in later chap
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,064 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 7-28-08 - Published: 7-21-08
​

Draco pregnate with Harry child pregnate with Snape child???

Ah - that needs a proper translation: Child!Snape inside Child!Harry inside Draco.

It's an angsty Russian Babushka Doll.

 

Truth, Lies, Love, Hate, Mates and Desires » by multicolouredeyes reviews

the order led by Harry turn against Dumbles who is allied with riddle? ron becomes a death eater,SLASH and femslash, bonding ceremonies, mpreg,sum characters are magical creatures,OCs,OOCness,a bit AU, main ships, DMHP, HPCD, read sum inside 4 the rest
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,938 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 9-2-08 - Published: 11-22-07​

And that's what is hidden behind the words "sum inside 4 the rest":

Warning: slash, femslash, mpreg,

The order lead by Harry, turn against an Evil Dumbles who is actually allied with Riddle, Ron becomes a death eater.

Magical creatures! Main characters. OOCness, some characters change houses.

Ships: HPDM HPCD DMBZ HGGiW FWGWLJ SBSSRL DTSF BZSF DTTN HPOC OCOC OCOC NLLL memories of SBJP SBRL SSRL SSJP from Marauders times and memories of HPOW from third year. and other surprises.

Mpreg and Bonding ceremonies in later chapters.​

"A bit AU"?

If that's only "a bit AU" what is required to label something "really AU"?

 

Serious Sirius » by halo-N-horns reviews Harry doesnt think any one cares what he does Sirius proves him wrong, warning includes spanking. Feed the writer reviews are filling and non fattening.

Filling and nonfattening? I beg to differ, writers begging for reviews always give me a mental picture of a squealing pig.

numb by the kraken is my pet this is what happened to a girl called jackie when fred died in the seventh book. warning it is sad : please review: SHIT SUMMERY I NO SINCE I CANT WRITE ONE BUT I PROMISE ITS A GOOD STORY!

.. well....the author is correct abut one thing..

Hermione and the Professor » by HJGrangerRocks reviews HG/SS H finishes 7th year, marriage, education and family. Hermione and Snape find love.Please read and leave reviews. If you can't say something nice don't bother.

ok..wait, wait, wait...what is the point of a review if the author won't take any criticism. Unless, I guess, if the only thing the author wants is her ego stroked.

I LOVE NEW YORK by xSheshemex reviews Meet Draco Malfoy. New York City's most eligible bachelor. Meet Hermione Granger. Editor of one of the hotest magazines in New York. What happens when these two high ranking socialite's worlds collide? One big bite out of sin city that's what.

When did they move to the US?



~Kitti

 

Just when you thought you'd seen the worst summaries of them all....

. turture and the past by misinformed individual my first fic, harrys been captured and turtured but remus finds him but bites him to then to top it off they get sent to the past were harrys parents make a bet on him NOT A SLASHFiction Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,123 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-7-08 - Published: 10-7-08

Far as I can see, the only thing this has going for it is the fact that it isn't slash!

 

...

So when they torture someone it seems the Death Eaters get scored. However, this all rather pointless seeing as they can't count.

 

I was wrong. There are worse summaries out there:

Mi Goff Lyf ate Horgwartz » by DiamondTopazAlexandriaRuby reviews dis iz mi stori boaut mi goffik lyf @ Hogwartz. i luv drake molloy nd harry pootr, wat wil happn wen dey BOFF luv mee bak?Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,645 - Reviews: 72 - Updated: 10-9-08 - Published: 9-2-08

*Scratches her head* I think I need a translator for this!

 

@ Bratling : I won't be surprise if it's the same author who wrote My Immortal. In fact, I really hope that it's the same person. I don't want to believe there is more than one follower of goffik-ism. Although, looking at some of the positive reviews My Immortal got, it is quite a possibility. What a horror.

I looked at some random page in FFN. All in that one page are junk, but here's some of the worsts.

 

ron,ginny and hermione by zack maddie reviews ron,ginny and hermione have sex

ew...at least it is short and to the point ....I guess

Lord Voldemort's new plan by Lilybet reviews Lord Voldemort has a new idea for the downfall of Harry Potter. rated T for small pain. VOTE: Your choice for continuation.

geez, I hate these fics where the author leaves it up to the masses to dictate what happens in the story

Harry Potter and the Nightmares » by Ahshen THIS ALL BELONGS TO JK ROWLING EXCEPT THE CHARS I PUT IN NO PROFIT HAS OR WILL BE MADE

great...so whats the story about..?

rosewood » by bambieyes1234 reviews danielle potter was just getting over the death of her lover owen black when she gets sent to the time of the founders fem!harry might be salazar/danielle

Someone has a broken shift key evidently....check out the story, if you dare!

~Kitti

 

Mistake of the Potter Triplets: Book 1 » by mantharella reviews
In this story Harry is one of a set of triplets. One of his triplets is mistaken for the Boy-Who-Lived while Harry and his other sibling are neglected. They will go to Hogwarts in this story!Manipulative Dumbledore! Fiction Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,016 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 10-10-08 - Published: 7-24-08


Harrys true family » by dumbledoresdaughter reviews 13 year old Harry tells Dumbledore of his life at the Dursleys and Dumbledore adopts him. Caution: Spanking included. Repost chapter 1 Fiction Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,476 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 9-9-08 - Published: 4-27-08

 

Harrys true family » by dumbledoresdaughter reviews 13 year old Harry tells Dumbledore of his life at the Dursleys and Dumbledore adopts him. Caution: Spanking included. Repost chapter 1 Fiction Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,476 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 9-9-08 - Published: 4-27-08

Yikes Bastet, this story is a headache. I actually like stories where Dumbledore cares for Harry. It is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine, I guess. But, this story, is nearly impossible to follow. She puts entire conversations in one paragraph. It is difficult to follow who is saying what because she desnt tell you who is talking. I couldnt get halfway though the first chapter.

~Kitti

 

I wasn't brave enough to open this one up:

 

The Boy Who Lived, Yeah Right » by bhoy1888 reviews It's starts like this Harry has a twin brother, an over confident best friend and fancies a certain Asian girl. Simple? Yeah right! R&RFiction Rated: M - English - General/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 79,289 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 10-27-08 - Published: 4-5-08

...
......
........

Words fail me. And the author.

 

Help Me, Help Me Move On » by emogirl108 reviews Amber Thomas is an orphan who feels nobody loves or cares for her. She is anti social, but a good quiditch player. All she wants is to find her parents who she feels abandoned her and find out why. SBOC rating for self imposed abuse and language

Double Trouble » by -Atrum.Decor- reviews SLASH. Serenity always thought she was a normal girl, with normal foster parents...Until the faithful night after they moved into their new house. Now she finds out that she's the twin sister of the boywholived!...Bad summary! Sorry.

The twin-plot never gets old, apparently.