Haha, good one! Nowadays they even put a label on themselves!

(And don't anyone dare post lame jokes about my sig. That's different.)

 

The Parent Trap » by SupernaturalWinchester reviews After Dave Potter decides to adopt his little brother Harry Dumbledore throws one final obstacle in his way he has to be married first so Tonks lends a hand and they realise they get married for themselves as much as Harry will they all survive it all?

It took me a good 4 or 5 rereads of this summery to understand what this story is about. Punctuation is your friend.

Draco's Immortal » by zzzzz reviews My Immortal by XXXbloodyrists666XXX written in Draco's perspective. In this, Draco is half-way in character. Rated M for thingies and you-know-whats...lots of them.

...why?

The Potter Twins by Alfabrena A twist on the story we all love: Harry has a twin sister, named Arrow. They'll face all the challenges of being siblings in the magical world of Hogwarts.

Arrow? This one gets the prize for goofiest mary-sue-twin name ive seen yet

Punishment by AuthorInHiding What happens when Hermione and Ginny are out of bed after hours and happen to be caught by a flexen haired hottie of a prefect? Read and find out.

*wretch*

~Kitti

 

Sweet Jesus, I actually glanced at this, thinking it might involve some hilarious bestiality....nope, eye-gougingly bad slash where Fawkes is some dude cursed into phoenix form

 

Harry Potter True Friends » by Pixel and Stephanie Forever reviews After the battle at the Ministry most of Harry's friends leave him, who are still his friends? Partly compliant to HBP/DH. M rated for rape Chapter 15, and sex in 29. Chapter 71 now uploaded. I am going to keep going on this fic till I hit 1000 chapters!Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Friendship - Chapters: 71 - Words: 205,406 - Reviews: 623 - Updated: 4-6-09 - Published: 9-7-08 - Harry P.

Terrifying.

 

Shadow's Heir Rise of Revan » by Finny de lionheart Blackprince reviews Harry has broken away from from dumbles and creates his Own side in the battle as a Dark Lord after the Fiasco at the dom.Thus rises Lord Revan Dark Lord of chaos. Not a crossover and never a crossover will i do.

I'm guessing English is a third language for this author...

 

Never do will a cross-over I write.

 

Harry Potter and the EvansSnapes » by hrhrionastar reviews AU: What if Lily and James survived? I know, not original--but this is the story of Lily Sunshine Evans--before and after the miraculous Potter survival extravaganza. Includes James, Severus, Harry, Sirius, Dumbledore, and everyone who matters!Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,103 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 3-12-09 - Lily Evans P. & Harry P.

SUNSHINE?

Fate's Justice » by Goldengirl2 reviews Harry is rewarded by Fate he is given a life with Lily and severus as his mother/step father, James is still his dad how will Harry cope with life as a potions baby, and two sets of over protective parents and siblings Featuring DRACO MALFOY AS THE BHLFiction Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,218 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 8-27-08 - Harry P. & Hermione G.

Draco as the boy-who-lived? What has this idiot been smoking and why in hell did Lily suddenly decide that divorcing James and marrying her psycho stalker was a good idea?

Unpredicted » by karategirl666 reviews when a secret is revealed Hermione leaves the burrow with out warning. But later that week Harry Ron and the twins get a letter inviting them to her home. over the Summer they will learn things about her they could never imagine! please read! FWHG!Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 38,640 - Reviews: 116 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 12-31-07 - Fred W. & Hermione G.

Hermione is boring. She's a nerd with delusions of grandeur...

Honour the Dead » by vuarapuung reviews When Ginny and Draco are found brutally murdered, Harry takes on the case to track down the killer. However, the truth may be even more horrifying than the crime.Fiction Rated: M - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,304 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 3-15-09 - Harry P.

Yeah. Track down the killer and... reward him.

Don't Make This Mistake » by Duck Life reviews Ginny is still with Dean after the final battle. Hermione tells her the mistake she's making. It's sort of like the Scrubs episode where JD runs the triathalon, when Elliot's boyfriend pours her white wine when she likes red. Twoshot, matbe threeshot. R&RFiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 12-23-08 - Ginny W. & Dean T.

Lovely. So we're now modeling HPfanfic after crappy doctor soap operas.

Bound » by Mutt N. Feathers What if Harry's parents weren't killed by Voldemort? What if the Butterfly effect took place, and one small thing changed all of their lives. This is an Alternate Universe story of how a small girl from Wales changed all of their lives.Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 26,570 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 3-29-09 - Sirius B. & Lily Evans P

Ooookay. So Mary Sue changes history...

Dudley Does Right » by nevillesgirlfriend reviews How the Dursley's escape changes Dudley and his relationship with Harry. My version of where the Dursleys went and what happened to them. As always, I don't own any of the characters I did create a few, but they're not as good as JK's .Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,454 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 2-13-09 - Dudley D.

And we should care, because? Azkaban is too good for the Dursleys.

 

Never a non-sucktastic piece of shit will he right.


And yes, spelling mistake intentional.

 

James' little brother » by SexySiri reviews Sirius decides that Harry needs a break as well as a loving family and so sends him back in time to pose as James' cousin during the marauders seventh year Harry's fifth . Contains slash and mentions of corporal punishment, bulimia and self harm.Fiction Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,887 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 4-8-09 - Published: 3-28-09 - Harry P. & James P.


If we're lucky the author will seek treatment for her own eating disorder and not post any future chapters.

 

Hopefully the author's bulimia will render her incapable of writing for the rest of her life.

 

Papa Don't Preach » by maramarie reviews
Harry and Draco are dating,Hermione and Ron don't know about the dates but don't like Harry's friend, Harry now has to deal with touch tempers, then one day things change and he has to explain to his Papa what he was thinking the night he lost it all!
Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,014 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 4-10-09 - Published: 3-24-09 - Draco M. & Harry P.

...

Come again?

The Open Door » by zzzzz reviews
Goth girl Ebony Way starts school at Hogwarts five years after she recieved her invitation letter. The muggle-born witch falls in love with the once racist Draco Malfoy. Prequel to My Immortal by XXXbloodyrists666XXX. Set in 2006, not the book's time.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 24,481 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 4-10-09 - Published: 12-10-08 - Draco M. & Harry P.

Ride him good » by StrangeLove26 reviews
AU/OOC: Harry/Lucius/Severus threesome.war ended in ministry, Sirius dead. Harry sent home to Dursleys where Uncle is more perverse child abuse .He is saved but only to come into the home and bed of two men who don't know the word no.slash/rape HP/SS/LM
Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,436 - Reviews: 99 - Updated: 4-10-09 - Published: 3-19-09 - Harry P. & Lucius M.

 

How are you saved from rape...by being raped...? Like how does the act of taking someone who was just raped home, then raping them, any better than letting them continue to be raped...?

 

Certainly one of the more bizarre summaries I've come across in a while. But the true lulz lies in the title -- Ride him good makes me crack up everytime.

And what really scares me is that I don't even have to look too hard to dig up a few lulzy fics these days. In fact, the three I posted were on the same page. Goes to show how the quality of writing in FFnet has taken a drastic plunge recently.

 

Recently? What do you mean recently? It's been like that for years now. Hell, I can check the front page and find at least two examples of complete and utter shite.

 

The author made a mistake himself in writing that.

 

[TDA] Come Hither by DMK (Chapters: 6) Rating: R - Spoilers: OotP, HBP, DH - 348 hits - 10901 words Genre: Humor, Slash - Main character(s): None - Ships: D/H - Era: The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Voldemort punishes Draco by sentencing him to 'service' the Death Eaters. Harry catches a glimpse of him when its Voldemort's turn through their connection. Experiencing what the Dark Lord is, Harry begins to unintentionally fall to the surprising and enthralling allure of his arch nemesis.
Published: February 1, 2009 (between Goblet of Fire and Order of Phoenix) - Updated: April 11, 2009

I don't bloody care what this author is trying to do, this is just... wrong. Really, really wrong. And to think that I once considered FictionAlley a place devoid of this sort of atrocity...

 

Humor and slash?

That's unpossible.

 

The Cabin by goldenbubbles reviews Ron and Hermione find some much needed alone time in Hagrid's cabin. One shot. Warning: Explicit sex scene, smut, not for under 18's, x-rated.

Hagrid's hut? How romantic...

Love Has No Bounds by multicolouredeyes The Potter Malfoys had kept their family a secret, know only by their closest friends. Now in Harry and Draco's 5th year they're ready to tell the world. Harr/Marcus Flint LMJP DMCD then DMCW. Full Summary Inside.Slash Ron Bashing Implied MPreg and more.

I gotta wonder if slash lovers were dropped on their heads as babies or something.

Hoping in the Unknown » by Suni-Dlight reviews I've always been a semi-obsessed Harry Potter fan. If you asked me any question, I could answer it with a snap of my fingers. I knew each book from back to front. Who would have guessed I'd become a character?

Why do people think this is even a good idea....

~Kitti

 

Am I the only one who noticed that Malfoy was supposed to be the "BHL"? As in, the "Bernard-Henri Lévy"?

 

Rorri Potter ch 1 by ArcherElfRin Rorri potter is Harry's only living relitive that he does not know of. this is about her adventures at hogwarts which include beating up malfoy, beating up malfoy and some other no-important stuff like saving the wizard world.Fiction Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 412 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-15-09 - Published: 4-15-09 - N. Tonks & Harry P.

Spell check please. Although double points for the emphasis on beating up Malfoy.