Lol Tinn; and yet it would be oddly appropriate. Draco would wear his robes open to expose his chest, and his hair would be perfect.

Why are France's public intellectuals such dandies? Derrida always had perfect hair too. In America we've only got Harold Bloom, who looks like Jabba the Hut's little brother.

 

I'd totally read that.

Jean-Paul Sartre begs to differ.

Well, he got some hair.

 

That's one wall-eyed motherfucker. Looks like Groucho Marx in a (wall-eyed) way...

 

To Stand Alone by Slightly Sinister Sinestra Do not ask! As the armies of light approach, Voldemort and his traitorous lover, Severus Snape, do a Hitler and Eva Braun on it, and commit suicide in each others arms.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-8-05 - Published: 12-8-05 - - Severus S./Voldemort - Complete

I like it how the author writes "do a Hitler and Eva Braun on it", makes it seem like their suicide was a Shakespearean grand act.

Here's a review:

 

^ I think we have a winner. Voldemort and Severus Snape commit suicide in each others arms. What the fuck???

 

17. Hephaestus » reviews HPDM slash. After Harry returned from torture horribly scarred, his lover, Draco Malfoy, rejected him in revulsion. But in the years since, Harry has prospered- and Draco may have a chance to learn that more than beauty matters.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 45,953 - Reviews: 245 - Updated: 12-4-08 - Published: 11-4-08 - Draco M. & Harry P. - Complete

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1265079/Lomonaaeren

EIGHTY HPDM slash stories from the same author..that has got to be some kind of perverse record.

EDIT: Seventy -Nine slash stories, the other 1 is a pre-slash.

 

Arizona » by frozenpixie reviews Set in the Half Blood Prince: Arizona’s parents are in the Order – but she’s been placed in Slytherin. Snape wants to use her as a secret weapon to infiltrate the house, but Malfoy has it in for her, and anyway, can a Slytherin be trusted?Rated: K - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,524 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 4-24-09 - Published: 4-20-09 - OC & Draco M.

Someone called Arizona??? Seriously?? Mary Sue alert!

 

I'll have you know that the name "Arizona" was the fourth most popular name for baby girls born in England in the year 1982.

 

Wow, I didn't know that - interesting bit of trivia, thanks. I have to wonder though, why you bothered to look up the fourth most popular name for baby girls in England in 1982.

EDIT: Just fact-checked: Sarah was the fourth most popular name for babies in England in 1982 - You were just taking the mickey, weren't you Kensington. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm gullible!

 

1. Daniel Black and the Rise of Voldemort: Book One Surviving the attack on his parents, Daniel Black is sent to live at the Potters' for the rest of the summer. He spends most of his time at Hogwarts training. This year will also host the Triwizard Tournament. Seventh-YearOC!PowerfulOC!OC/FD Maybe others? Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,363 - Published: 4-25-09 - OC & Fleur D.

For a more comprehensive summary :

Textbook Gary Stue here.

 

Haha, I'd have gone with this thread.

 

5. confessions ! » by book.nook reviews
Everyone at Hogwarts thinks they know James Potter, but they don't seem to know then there's more than meets the eye. With James & Lily forced to share a room, things get a little out of control. James/Lily Riley/Sirius Angela/Remus. Review !
Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,829 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 4-26-09 - Published: 4-14-09 - Lily Evans P. & James P.

Since when did people assume FFnet readers knew OCs?

 

Lemon Drops and Blood Pops » by Toki Mirage reviews Have you ever wondered if a realistic Harry/Albus pairing exists? So did I. So I wrote it. This story explores relationships. AU. Hogwarts. Dimension/time travel. Vampire. Magical creatures politics. Warning: Slash. M/M. Yaoi. NOT chan. Harry is an adult.

yeah cause vampirism and time travel are really realistic

~Kitti

 

Too bad no one's given that story total shit so far...nothin' but good reviews. Christ, they're all deluded people...

 

Stuff like this perplexes me as much as those where Harry or Xander become love machines and wind up with a bunch of chicks (who usually become bisexual to encourage orgies) hanging off them. Forget that they make all the characters inexplicably gay, but they pair them up with people that they can't stand.

It makes me wonder why tehy don't just change the names and make up a bunch of OCs.

 

Delusional fans make people morons. They're obsessed with the famous people, so they constantly think up weird shit. All these fangirls with their obsession with Gay!Harry really need to be stuck in a god damned mental institution. Or just shoot them.

 

. Blayze, Book 1 of 7: The Seer and the Stone » by Pink Pigeon reviews There is a prophecy about a girl named Blayze who will fight with or against the Chosen One. If she is won over by Good, she will be kind and fight with the Chosen One, but is she chooses Evil, Blayze will be a ruthless killer. She is the key to victory.Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,549 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 4-22-09

*starts to turn green* Is this OC a female Blaise Zabini? It's fairly obvious that it's a Mary Sue and a particularly unreadable one at that.

Tom Marvolo Riddle: Scarlet Moon » by Mavray reviews The idea of someone new joining Hogwarts is a huge shock to Tom Riddle, and he instantly dislikes the intelligent and powerful Scarlet Moon. But what happens when his attempts to attack the girl fail? Rare find: A good fic of a straight Tom Riddle xDRated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 65,050 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 3-23-09 - Tom R. Jr.

Seems to be Mary Sue night at FFN. I wonder if this one is related to Sailor Moon, one of the stupidest Animes ever made... (I think all anime is stupid and badly drawn, BTW)

Hogwarts Next Top Model » by Zayz reviews AU MWPP era. In January of their sixth year, the Marauders come up with their best boredom buster to date - a recreation of the show America's Next Top Model. Inevitable hilarity ensues. R&R?Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 77,783 - Reviews: 228 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 2-4-08

Item #1: At least two of the Marauders are Pureblood, thus don't know what the heck a television is. Item #2: Said cited TV show didn't premier until 2003, and James Potter died in 1981...

The Trinity » by Leonhart20 Seraphim Leon Potter was the younger brother of James Potter and the Uncle of Harry Potter. Out for revenge he gathers Witches and Wizards and magical creatures alike and creates creates his own group he will even find love in fellow Metamorphmagus.OCNTHHRated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,094 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 2-24-09 - N. Tonks & OC

Seraphim? Talk about names to get beatings for from other children! I think we should make a Potter law about unknown relatives suddenly showing up. James was an only child. Peroid.

. Change of Destiny by Revanimefreak-919 reviews After years of living alone, Harry decides to go back in time and change his destiny. VAMPIRE,DARK HARRY eventual Harry/LuciusRated: M - English - General/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,253 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-2-09 - Harry P. & Lucius M.

This just... wrong on so many levels.

Trying to Fly » by lehayim reviews The Order are shocked when Severus appears during the celebrations on the night of the final battle, having been confirmed dead. When an attack interupts, leaving Hermione blind and Severus disfigured, they must teach other how to feel again. HGSSRated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,076 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 12-27-08 - Hermione G. & Severus S.

Isn't he already disfigured? I mean, dude needs to wash his hair, and see both a cosmetic dentist and a plastic surgeon to look presentable. He needs braces at the very least and bleaching! And as for Hermione, well, it can easily be argued that she has problems seeing her hand in front of her face when a book or an authority figure doesn't tell her that something is true...

The Ship of Dreams » by From Spark to Flame reviews Draco set off on the Titanic, set in for a new love and a crazy adventure. He lived through his ups and downs to tell the tale, surviving the ship's fatal fall. His love, however, didn't. But he went on with life. DMHG. Follows movie's plotline.Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 4-29-09 - Draco M. & Hermione G.

Titanic was a stupid ass movie. The boat sank. Get over it. Hell, the best part of the damn movie was watching said boat sink! This idiotic story is obviously another attempt to put two patently unsuitable characters together.

Harry Potter and the Prophet Eyes » by HermyDraco11243 reviews Valora Malfoy isn't an ordinary witch. Before she was adopted she was Axel Potter,the daughter James hated.Valora has visions of the past, that led her to believe that her parents deaths weren't accidential, or wanted by Voldemort. Full summ on my profileRated: M - English - General - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,736 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 7-26-08 - Harry P.

Good grief. Harry was an only child. James and Lily married right out of school and had Harry. And who in hell names their baby girl Axel?

Crazy harry potter madnes from the abis » by cowsCANfly reviews In the domain of bordom this epic random story was born copletly randomRated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 4-10-09

And the fact that one word out of every three is mispelled is reason enough to not read this 'story', if story it really is.

 

5. BEST FRIEND AS CLOSE AS EVER by DeathDragon3000 what would happen when the Dark lord has a son, and that son is gay with MalfoyRated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,936 - Published: 5-4-09 - Draco M.

Awesomest summary ever.

 

Herus Magma and the Goldern Ruby » by Alistair13 reviews
Rom has been murmured and it is up to Herus a orphan wisard and his friends to save the day. Time is not on there side as Snap tries to destroy them and there school Hogwats. Please review as this is my fist fanfic so be mice. : Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,740 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-9-09 - Published: 4-23-09

I call troll. To be honest, I'm not sure this is even Harry Potter fanfiction.