I looked at Harry Potter on Fanfic for the first time in months the other day and the first few pages were almost entirely Harry/Draco, Harry/Lucius and Harry/Voldemort. Or, some unholy combination of the three.

Its one thing for a character who is written gay to have a gay relationship, but once again, what is this fascination for making straight characters gay for other straight characters who they chronically hate? Especially this twisted stuff like Harry/Draco/Lucius. WTF>

 

My Trip Through Time » by DebsTheSlytherinSnapefan reviews Harry goes walkies! ends up back in time! however, to him it turns into a nightmare...after a while he can safely say he's having the time of his life! slash! will the Mauraders get on with Harry? where will Harry be sorted? where else? SLYTHERIN!

Something about this summery really annoys me. Maybe it's the bad grammar and random punctuation. Maybe it's the slash. Maybe it's the word "walkies".

What a tart! by -peccadillo Tom Sr. visits his favorite corner, and meets his new favorite harlot. WARNINGS: M/M, pedophilia, incest. R for sexual situations.

How....disturbing.


~Kitti

 

Who the hell came up with THAT? This is a flawless plan? How about most retarded and disgusting plan ever made!

I really should know better by now but this made me angry. How can anyone come up with this kind of crap.

It is like "I have to make Harry pregnant with Draco's baby, but wait there is something missing, I think it needs Voldemorts soul in it, that should make it perfect".

 

And yet, you missed what I think are some of the better parts:

VERY dark and mature themes.
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the other femHarry story.

Oh, the angst and horror.

 

What a novel way to work through rape fantasies. The author must have a special frenemy at school, but, unable to come to terms with wanting a dude he writes this to symbolically change his lust interest into a chick to rape into loving him.

 

Yeah, because when an author of that caliber warns us from "dark and mature themes" there is so much to get worked over. It is like people trying to sell stuff on TV and they put the word fun in the description: You can be sure that it will be anything but.

 

It's probably a bad story idea... But I can't really tell, I was lost at "Harry Potter lupin is a girl."

 

Oh no! Their love will DEMENISE!

 

It sounds like Harry Lily Potter Lupin is a hermaphrodite werewolf with a split personality that's married to itself.

Greatest story ever?

 

So yeah. On a whim for which I'm currently headdesk'ing, I typed "femharry" into Google, and found a FFN community named "Miss Potter", which is dedicated to -- you guessed it -- female Harrys. #3 down was this gem:

Who wonders about shit like that?

 

To be fair, it is not that bad of an idea. I am not going to read it of course but as far as bad ideas go, you can do a lot worse.

 

The Story of Harry and Fleur
Starts with Harry almost attempting suicide after seeing Ron and Hermione together but is rescued by Fleur as they fall in love witness the drama, love, family issues of the Potters.
Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,905 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 11-25-09 - Published: 11-24-09 - Harry P. & Fleur D.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5532398/1/The_Story_of_Harry_and_Fleur

 

oh joy...nothing says love at first sight like a good old fashioned teen angst suicide.

 

This looks like a teenage girl author. I wonder if Harry's preferred suicide method was to jump off a cliff? After all, that's the "in" choice for lovesick teens these days...

 

*shudder* 20 chapters of Snape Rape.

uke:

 

Close, but not quite. He was about to jump off a tower. Yes, he didn't even have the balls to actually jump.

Anyway, it is preferable for the lovesick teens to jump off cliffs rather than buildings or bridges -- less to clean up that way. And when you really think about it, suicide is the best way for them to contribute to the society. In one swift swoop they rid the world of their stupidity and improve the human gene pool.

 

Why would Harry attempt suicide after seeing Ron and Hermione hooking up? And how on earth do you justify fitting two chapters in a story less than two thousand words?

Here are some that I found by searching iPod in the Harry Potter category.

Ipod Competion ! by Little Miss Writer 13
READ THIS PLEASE !xxxxxxx You get a cookie if you do Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 171 - Published: 9-2-09

The Search for the Holy iPod by mrs.ReverendTholomewPlague reviews Hermione Granger, Synyster Gates, Michael Vick, Miley Cyrus, Lala the Teletubby and Barney the Dinosaur set out to find the Holy iPod, stolen by Lord Voldemort. Kinda stupid, really funny! Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,057 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 9-13-08

My iPod Nano by Paloma Latina reviews Music is what feelings sound like. “I’ll stay, Tonks. As long as you won’t slap me again.”[A collection of songfics. All chosen randomly of my sister's iPod Nano] Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 884 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 9-21-07

The iPod Incident by Etern reviews Draco Malfoy suddenly loves this invention known as the iPod. And if anyone needs to know a thing or two about manipulation, go ask Hermione Granger. Oneshot. D/H Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,139 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-20-09 - Draco M. & Hermione G.

Hermione knows manipulation? When did this happen?

 

Wait a second... something is fishy here. Oh wait, the iPod wasn't released unti 2001. Um... so what's the explanation for the fourth one-shot? The second is obviously severe crack and the third probably doesn't have an actual iPod in the one-shot, but what's the fourth one-shot's excuse? Also according to Firefox, iPod is a typo.

 

The fourth could be after Voldie was killed but it still looks terrible.

And what do you mean iPod was a typo?

 

Firefox apparently doesn't think there is a word that is even close to iPod and so it flags it as a spelling mistake.