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Fanfiction's Worst Summaries v5.0

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Sep 14, 2009.

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  1. Sacrosanct

    Sacrosanct Auror

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    Huh, that's weird I've never used firefox before so I wouldn't know.

    Can you put in summaries from other fandoms on this thread?
     
  2. LadyKitti

    LadyKitti Second Year

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    We used to have a thread that was dedicated to other fandoms, but I haven't seen it in a while ;)

    Turkey Day by TalaDentro reviews A small slashy Snarry snippet for the 2009 Thanksgiving Holiday in which Harry is a turkey. Hope you all had a happy one! Crack version coming soon.

    ...turkey...slash?
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2009
  3. Redeye

    Redeye Penultimate Lurker DLP Supporter

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    And what possibly possessed you to do that?

    Harry Potter/NFL crossover? Make it happen!!!
     
  4. Sacrosanct

    Sacrosanct Auror

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    I heard about an iPod Shuffle Challenge way back when and I didn't know what it meant so I searched iPod in FF.net and I remember laughing at all the terrible summaries and decided I'd do it again and post my findings here. So no I don't go around searching random electronic devices on fanfiction websites.

    Have you noticed that the spell check on this website doesn't think iPod is a real word either?
     
  5. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Maybe that's because iPod... isn't a word? It's a trademark. It doesn't recognise Samsung, JVC or Sennheiser either.

    But it does recognise Budweiser which makes me lol.
     
  6. Lawyer in Exile

    Lawyer in Exile Second Year

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    snowball fights by djlola
    it's 7th year and hermione and draco have been made head girl and boy.will love blossom over the many snowball fights held or will hate continue to freeze their hearts?i suck at summaries Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Published: 11-30-09 - Draco M. & Hermione G.


    15. Harry Potter, The Quick and the Dead by DrRaven reviews Blackmial, Horcurxes, Death, Oh my. Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,420 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-5-09 - Harry P. & Daphne G. - Complete


    oh, my!
     
  7. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Harry is out for revenge after Mike Vick killed Sirius... :awesome

    Oh the suspense! I don't want to spoil it for any DLPers following this one with bated breath, but my money is on those two getting together. Just a hunch, mind.

    All that, and the good DrRaven managed to wrap it up in under 1,500 words. That, my friends, is minimalist writing at its finest. Or it might be, since I have no intention of reading that steaming pile.
     
  8. JoJo23

    JoJo23 Unspeakable

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    The Veil of Time » by sarcastic melody reviews After watching Sirius Black fall through the Veil Hermione rushes to help,but Harry in his grief accidently pushes her through the Veil Behind Sirius. Now on an adventure through time, Hermione must decide if she should follow her heart or follow her headRated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-1-09 - Published: 8-21-09 - Hermione G. & Sirius B.

    I fucking lol'd
     
  9. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    What the Hell, that should be in an "AWESOMEST SUMMARIES EVAR! 8D" thread. XD
     
  10. Redeye

    Redeye Penultimate Lurker DLP Supporter

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    Cut it off right there and you have the best summary eva
     
  11. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Pass the brain bleach, please. I decided that if this douche needed four months to write 886 words, split into two chapters, I oughtta read that masterpiece. All I can say is, "Wow. Can I have those three minutes back now?"

    Not a fucking thing happens aside from what you can surmise from the pathetic summary. Hermione tries to comfort Harry and in his grief, her words only make it worse. She deduces that with him thrashing around like a spaz, one of them is gonna fall thru the Veil and decides to sacrifice herself (Of course she does!). She falls into a white nothing room and sees someone standing over her she thought she'd never see again. End of chapter 1.

    Now, chapter 2, cut back to Harry who is now shocked into action against a Death Eater, beats the dude, and decides to Bombarda (that's right, a movie spell, not even a canon one) the Veil, instead of, oh, seeing if maybe there's a way to get Sirius and Hermione back. After all, in this AU, Lupin hasn't told him that there's no way back or that Sirius is dead or anything. Harry just knows, and of course destroys the archway so there's no chance of these two people - very important to Harry it would seem - getting back to this world. Smart.

    The best part, and I mean THE BEST? The end of chapter 2. Harry cries himself to sleep back at Hogwarts, but...

    Fun? Fun?!? <facepalm>


    To add to the actual purpose of this thread, here's another gem from the same author.


    Broken by sarcastic melody reviews
    Hermione describes how she imagines her depression.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-9-09 - Hermione G. - Complete
     
  12. EvilSkittles

    EvilSkittles DA Member

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    Doesn't sound like grief to me, I say he did it on purpose.
     
  13. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    He probably meant to leap in after them, and spend enternity exploring exactly how many ways three bodies can connect. Too bad that Remus never liked to share...
     
  14. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    4. December 2nd by multicolouredeyes
    Second installment in my Advent Calendar. Harry and Marcus Flint enjoy a day in Hogsmeade in this excerpt from Love Has No Bounds which is one of my other fics- this is like a little preview of what is coming up in future chapters of LHNB. SLASH enjoy.
    Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Published: 12-2-09 - Harry P. & Marcus F. - Complete

    15. Stepping To The Bad Side by Neshaaa-Malfoy reviews
    Hermione has come back to school with a new attitude. A bad one. Smokes, drinks, tattoos, piercings, back-chats teachers, hangs out with Slytherins? HA! She has become a Slytherin! DRAMIONE; Romance/Angst. REVIEW!

    The second is especially lulzy. Yea, what a badass!
    Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,096 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-14-09 - Draco M. & Hermione G.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2009
  15. LadyKitti

    LadyKitti Second Year

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    Blarry Hotter and the Monotonous Cone » by .KeiraGrange. reviews Blarry Hotter lives with his repulsive Aunt Balloonia, Uncle Vermin and Fudley Durr-Silly at No. 4 Hedge Bush Drive. When Blarry thinks he's had enough, he recieves an intriguing and mysterious letter from a place called Pigboils...

    I know its parody...but gosh some people try too hard, and are terribly un-funny.

    A Phoenix Does Not Fear Ashes » by KatyTyler reviews GinnyxDraco. Ginny is raped, Draco beaten by his father, so he runs away. HUGE twists. its gonna get spicy, so its rated M. read it and you'll love it, i promise.

    Angst and more angst! Apparently misery loves company.

    Forsaken son » by TheFoundersFour reviews AU/OOC evan Potter is bwl. and Harry? He is the abused bastard of James with a male lover.Ignored and abused before school, Harry is all but forgotten until James and Lily are near broke,and see he can fetch them a lot of cash warn slash/mprg, abuse

    Eww...Harry was turned into a slash-baby?
     
  16. Verminard

    Verminard Seventh Year

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    I read that last one as forskin son.

    HERMIONE becomes a Slytherin by smoking and being a bitch is funny.
     
  17. sotti

    sotti Guest

    A confession from the author: "So this might be my last entry. I've learned how to tigh a noose knot and I've written my will and suicide notes for my family. I'm a wreck and I hate myself so much; I'm ugly, fat, useless, inadequate, I'm pathetic. I've tried so hard this year so I could be good, and yet...I'm still the failure that I've always been. So if anyone reads this, goodbye. I love my family. I know that I'll miss them. But it's a good thing that they don't have anything to miss. I hate myself..."

    screw the internet and screw my boredom
     
  18. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Really? That weak attempt to garner compliments and/or have smoke blown up her ass is neither sarcastic nor melodious. Misleading author names are misleading. And in case she's reading this: Your family? They won't miss you, so get the fuck on with it already. Put up or shut up.
     
  19. Militis

    Militis Supreme Mugwump

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    THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. This.

    This this.

    Also, I lol'd at Foreskin Son.
     
  20. EvilSkittles

    EvilSkittles DA Member

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    Watch her knot fail because she didn't take the time to learn properly.
     
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