world class! must provide excessive references of this on my new fav wiki...

 

Best Title Ever.

 

@Lawyer: That's got to be a troll, right? Nobody could possibly write that seriously... I mean, the mechanics of it are mindboggling. Hagrid's cock has to be bigger than Dobby's entire body! I'm scared to read it, frankly.

This is why I don't read much fanfiction these days.

 

House-elves have their special brand of magic. Every idiot knows that. In any case, Hagrid's cock isn't as large as Merlin's, so it shouldn't be a problem - a perfect fit, you might say.

 

I just realised - who says that Hagrid's cock is proportional? Maybe Hagrid's mother decided to date outside her species because male giants are *ahem* lacking something.

 

I'm almost curious as to how that tampon one got all those reviews, and what they say.

But not enough to click on it.

 

I read it; morbid curiosity and all that.

The title is made out of pure WTF, but the story itself made me chuckle. Not nearly as squicky or disturbing as you'd think.

 

2. A Modicum of Pleasure by xTJGx reviews Dobby's worst nightmare, or secret desire? Albus Dumbledore calls in a member of his staff to his office. But this is no ordinary meeting. A glance into the manic sexual world of Dumbledore's fantasies. DumbledoreDobby, Graphic sex, noncon, lemon, slash.Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,009 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 11-25-07 - Albus D. & Dobby

It burns it burns.

 

Dear god. What is wrong with people? Seriously.

 

The fact that its a Humour/Angst story is more disturbing to me. Just imagine:

"Dobby my love, I can barely stand the sight of your tennis ball eyes knowing that I once ejaculated into them."

"And now I must angst!"

 

dude i jizzed in my pants while reading this.
"Ready for round two?" -- best line ever

A review for the story.
I now have most of my flesh burnt off. I'm typing with bone.

 

Why do i feel so dirty just looking at the summary. Those brave souls who read it deserve as many metals as can be found on short notice.

 

I might as well quote the whole thing:

Dumbledore's dialogue is hilarious.

Also the really gay phrasings: "He began to assume his usual position" and "Dumbledore let out a primal and guttural moan".

 

4. Someone To Love Me » by Yaoiluvergirl reviews
Harry’s twin is chosen as the Boy-Who-Lived and since that night, life’s loveless for him. How very cliché, but one that I like. SLASH. CD/DM/TR/HP Abuse,Neglect and Potter, Weasel bashing. Dont like Dont read. A Vamp!Fic. You have been forewarned.
Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,797 - Reviews: 124 - Updated: 12-19-09 - Published: 10-25-09 - Harry P. & Tom R. Jr.

22. Daddy Dearest » by befoulmetalroosa reviews
Harry just found out that Dumbledore is his father. Snape and Malfoy help him find out how it happened. There will be hell to pay...
Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 47,188 - Reviews: 114 - Updated: 12-18-09 - Published: 1-5-09 - Harry P. & Draco M.

Well, gee, I wonder how it happened.

Oh man I'm gonna have to edit again, but these things just beg to be put here.

38. Where he belongs » by Troubled heart reviews
Harry finds out Sirius isn't dead and not only is he a Weasley but he's Ron's twin brother. Confusion ensues as he's still the boy who lived but he has to unlock the mystery behind what happened to him as an infant. A/U story set in Book 6.
Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,654 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-18-09 - Published: 11-27-09 - Harry P. & Ron W.

Ditto:

43. Away in a Manger » by Snapegirlkmf reviews
On Christmas Eve, an unwanted child is left in a manger and found by a young Potions Master, changing both their lives forever. AU, implied child abuse, neglect, Sev raises Harry.
Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 35,035 - Reviews: 448 - Updated: 12-18-09 - Published: 12-6-09 - Harry P. & Severus S.

I really have no words for this one.

 

That's some concentrated failure right there. 180 Proof.

 

So Daddy Dearest has Dumbledore, a supposed homosexual, fathering Harry? But how does that-

Oh right, I temporarily and blissfully forgot about the abomination of... MPREG!

 

I skimmed the first 2 or 3 chapters out of morbid curiousity. Apparently Dumbledore raped Lily. Oh and he raped Merope Gaunt too so Harry and Voldemort are brothers...

 

'Tis the season, yo. I expect several more of these will pop up here.

 

Oh God I just can't help myself.

61. Emotional Love » by Belle A Lestrange reviews
WARNING boyxboy. Rated M. HPDM. Both Harry and Draco's families have left the wizarding world. Draco lives in Cambridge with his mum and is startled by the new boy in town, who shares his same taste in emo clothes, music, films and boys! Read and Review.
Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 45,652 - Reviews: 111 - Updated: 12-18-09 - Published: 6-17-09 - Draco M. & Harry P.

72. LADY MALFOY » by greatest.wit reviews
AU. NON-MAGIC. Set in 19th century, it is a story of a young woman who sacrifices her future to save her family from utter poverty. See whether her sacrifice turns out to be a blessing or not. Draco/fem!Harry.
Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 171,072 - Reviews: 376 - Updated: 12-18-09 - Published: 6-6-09 - Harry P. & Draco M.

 

LOL What is the point in writing a Harry Potter fanfiction with no magic in it? It's like castrating someone.

She's not just dying she's dy.................................ing.