I found... THE MOST DISTURBING SLASH EVER.*

Three of Cups by Chess Murder
binds people together as surely as it splits one individual soul into pieces, creating bonds and breaking them. Dumbledore/Harry, Dumbledore/Snape. Threefolds bonds are stronger.
Harry Potter, T, English, Angst & Romance, w4k+, 8/31/09, Albus D. & Harry P.

*As of today

 

Charmed Girl by Amaris-Noami-Pierce
Alex's school was sent to hogwarts because they're school was destroyed.When at hogwarts she met the golden trio.they were suprised when they learned they had to go undercover at a shool for monsters.If you want to be in story put it in your review.
Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Published: 1-28-11 - Alex R.


Of World Domination And Pink Cellphones by xXSarcasmAndCakeXx
Moved from my other account: In which Snape convinces Moldy Voldy gets a cell phone -Gasp!- and starts receiving prank calls that will eventually destroy him and end the war… For good. AU. Crackfic.
Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Published: 1-28-11 - Voldemort & Harry P.


My Angel is a Demon » by Amaris-Noami-Pierce reviews
Alexandra M. Russo or as she's known now by Amaris Violet Rose ran away at age twelve.Now she is fifteen and she's a demon.she is able to control earth,wind,fire,water,weather,and plasma.She got invited to hogwarts and voldemort is intrested in her
Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,022 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 1-28-11 - Published: 11-6-10 - Harry P. & Alex R.


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Amish Style » by DC Talk rox reviews
What would happen if an Amish girl went to Hogwarts? Read and find out.
Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,491 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-28-11 - Published: 1-14-11 - OC


Harry meets vampires! » by fantasyrulez97
catherine half vampire and damon salvatore encounter a she-demon. catheine kills it. demigods percy, annabeth, nico turn up. harry, ron and ginny accidentally dissaparate to Catherine's high school. i really suck at summary, so pls read to find out mor
Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,238 - Published: 1-28-11 - Harry P. & Damon

 

Harry the llama despises what ifs too.

---------- Post automerged at 06:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:51 PM ----------

For some reason I thought that alluded to two girls one cup... As in a Dumbledore/Harry type.

I just threw up in my mouth.

 

Is that Alex Rider, by any chance? If so, then I'm not particularly surprised at the shit that is resorted to in order to get Rider to Hogwarts. The method just gets worse and worse.

 

Of Faith and Buffy

AU: Faith is the kid of Teddy Lupin and Victoire, Buffy is with that family as well.

Harry Potter > Faith-Centered > Theme: Real Family • Dmitri • FR7 • Chapters [3] • Words [4,988] • Recs [0] • Reviews [0] • Hits [554] • Published [24 Jan 11] • Updated [28 Jan 11] • Completed [No]

--

I got this one from TTH.

 

A Blossoming Romance » by LeahAnne reviews
Harry and Ginny are dating and a prophecy is made. Either Harry must find a woman to have his baby or Voldemort will come back stronger than ever. What will happen? Slightly AU.
Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 36,700 - Reviews: 654 - Updated: 12-4-06 - Published: 7-27-05 - Harry P. & Ginny W.

--
I didn't read it... But when I read "Harry must find a woman to have his baby" This flashed in my mind:


"Harry! You're the Chosen One... You're the only one who can save us from Voldemort!" – Dumbledore

"But... How Professor? I don't have any extraordinary powers!?" – Harry

"Oh, but my boy you do, you have the power... to make babies!" - Dumbledore.

"I suppose... Wait... What!? I thought you'd say LOVE... I have the power to love? Not... Not..." – Harry

"It's the only way, Harry... You have to take one for the team." – Dumbledore

"...Riiight...." – Harry

"You must understand Harry, this was all prophesized before you were born. It's the only way we can stop the darkness!" – Dumbledore

"You've gone barmy, Professor... Seriously. I'm starting to think Voldemorts got a point..." – Harry

"But, Harry, he chose you as his equal! He marked you, only your seed can set us free!" – Dumbledore

"Okay, that's it... I'm defecting!" - Harry

​

 

...Until Voldemort demands the same thing for a different reason.

Edit:

Great, so I've got a piss poor planned piece of slash named after me. Greaat. :facepalm

 

Be honored.

- - -

My Hogwarts Story » by L98N
Lanet Remus Lite was a mistreated girl however when she gets her letter to Hogwarts things change-new friends and new family, what could go wrong? Well if Lord Voldemort was back for the third time...everything
Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,042 - Updated: 1-29-11 - Published: 1-27-11 - OC


:facepalm

 

Bleh, he's 13. I suppressed the urge to write a long bashing/informative review. He wouldn't have understood half of it, and ignored the other half saying I didn't appreciate his talent. To be fair, he's probably yet to come across any good fic, as he lists Harry/Tracey as his favorite, and he HATES CANON!!!##%
He'll see the light soon.

 

Let's hope so.

 

Here is another.

A Magical Love Story » by ILuvParis95 reviews After Alex gets kicked out of Wiztech she is force to spend a year at Hogwarts where she just might fall in love with a certain Fourth year old boy. AlexXHarry.Crossover - Harry Potter & Wizards of Waverly Place - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 24,881 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 1-29-11 - Published: 10-31-10 - Harry P. & Alex R.

 

I found these in the deepest pits of Hell. Enjoy.

'distant sobbing'

 

MPREG...*shudders*

We need some fungicide for ff.net. :facepalm

 

We need ABORTIONS.

 

You deserve what you get for searching for mpreg.

 

Unfortunately enough, those who purposely search out for (and find) MPREG stories and as a result do not have their eye corneas rot out in real-time doesn't feel that fair to me. :awesome

Is 'blond/blonde' technically a colour? I'm honestly not sure...

 

yes apparently Blond is a color

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_colors#B

 

New Girl! by Voldemort's Daughter. xxx reviews
wat happens when a new girlcomes to hogwarts but has 2 captains falling over her! oliver wood/ marcus flint.
Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,045 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2-2-11 - Oliver W.

 

You talk about M-Preg... But now, I give you something even worse, FEMPREG

But seriously, has the slash and MPreg on ff.net become so bad that people now need to say that there is a normal pregnancy going on? :fire

 

DoOver by MegaNerdAlert
Molly Weasley accidentally turns herself 30 years younger and decides to run away and start a new life. Two years later, she comes back to teach at Hogwarts, only to have the Potter children decide to hook her up with their widowed father, Harry. MW/HP
Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,776 - Published: 2-3-11 - Harry P. & Molly W. - Complete

This is something...