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Fanfiction's Worst Summaries v8.0

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Jul 10, 2011.

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  1. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Lungs delivers the truth.

    And cut.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2011
  2. Little Knee

    Little Knee Seventh Year

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    ...No...

    /10chars
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2011
  3. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Too much bro-ishness?

    Or just bad taste?

    Prolly bad taste.

    Hit some, miss some. I'll go back to Dan and Em. T_T

    Edit: The worst response to this is that you didn't like it because you ship Bill/Fleur. Then we can't be friends. Not really though. I don't judge. Much.
     
  4. Little Knee

    Little Knee Seventh Year

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    ...No. You can't cut it like that, arsehole. Complete it. Nao.

    And please, not here.
     
  5. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Delivers moar!

    Just a little bit :p
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2011
  6. El Duderino

    El Duderino Groundskeeper

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    I dunno where you guys find this, and I prolly don't want to know, but to be perfectly honest, I just scared the shit out of my cat from laughing.

    Cheers bro
     
  7. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hahaha, we wrote it :p

    On the spot. All of that was under maybe 15 minutes of work.

    Me and Little Knee has success? :D

    ---------- Post automerged at 04:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:58 PM ----------

    Note, for the people who don't know American politics: What 'Albus' said was actually a transcribing of Bill Clinton's speech about the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
     
  8. El Duderino

    El Duderino Groundskeeper

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    ... You truly have perverse, yet genius minds.
     
  9. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Behold. There is sauce!

    Draco/OC, Harry/OC story from when I was 12.

    The writing mechanics are remastered, the narration has changed from third-person omniscient to Astoria Greengrass.

    The characters are kept, as well as all of the most embarrassing of plot elements.

    To be played alongside Avril Lavigne’s Sk8ter Boi.

    Written for DLP.

    Author’s Promise: You sew mad sew soon.

    ==========================

    Her name was Scarlett Rayne, with a mane of honey blonde hair. She was just a girl, or so she told herself.

    His name was Draco Malfoy, with intelligent, grey eyes and the air of nobility.

    They casted magic.

    This is their story.

    [​IMG]

    =========================

    He was a boy she was a girl
    can I make it anymore obvious?
    He was a punk, she did ballet
    What more can I say?

    The first time they noticed one another, I was a fourth year student at Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They were a year older.

    She was beautiful in a classical way, sort of like my sister. Her eyes were ice-blue and intelligent.

    She was a Gryffindor girl, and Harry Potter’s sweetheart.

    Scarlett, with a heart that beat in time with a lion’s.

    He had opened his mouth to smite Ron Weasley again when he suddenly closed it.

    His fists clenched unconsciously, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening.

    The tips of his ears turned a delicate shade of pink and he looked away.

    When he returned to his dorm room, he sang extra loud in his mirror.

    =========================

    He wanted her,she'd never tell
    secretly she wanted him as well
    but all of her friends, stuck up their nose
    they had a problem with his baggy clothes.

    “Scarlett.”

    “What do you want, Malfoy?” she spat. He had not been kind to her through the years. “Come here to make fun of me again? Going to tell me about how muddy my blood is?”

    “I-I,” he stammered. “I just want to apologize.”

    Her arms folded around her chest, but he pressed on, undaunted.

    “I’ve been treating you terribly through the years.”

    “You’re choosing to apologize now?”

    He had no words, and bowed in the most respectful way a Pureblood could. She didn’t recognize the gesture, returning to the Gryffindor table.

    I followed her over.

    “Malfoy apologized to me.”

    Hermione Granger, the most intelligent witch to walk the halls of Hogwarts since Rowena herself, scoffed with a sort of intolerance that insulted even me. “About what?”

    “About how he’d treated me through the years.”

    Potter and Weasley gave a long laugh, and the former planted a kiss on her cheek. She looked a bit uneasy.

    Two tables away, Draco stared, fuming.

    =========================

    He was a skater boi,
    she said see you later boi
    he wasn't good enough for her
    she had a pretty face
    but her head was up in a space
    she needed to come back down to earth

    Draco stood in the middle of the common room, singing his heart out, a crushed bouquet of roses at his foot.

    “And I feel like taking off, let me be your supernova, before you make the biggest mistake of your life, just give me the chance to get it right!” he pleaded, belting out his soul at the Common Room door.

    That was when I truly fell in love with him.

    When I knew he was the one for me.

    He sang to her the next day in the Great Hall, but she just laughed along with Harry Potter.

    =========================

    Five years from now, she sits at home
    Feeding the baby she's all alone
    She turns on T.V., guess who she sees
    Skater boy rocking up MTV
    She calls up her friends, they already know
    And they've all got tickets to see his show
    she tags along, and stands in the crowd
    Looks up at the man that she turned down

    I looked down from the stage during one of our concerts in Liverpool, and there she was. Scarlett Rayne, dumped for the more beautiful and magically talented Fleur Delacour and left with a baby. Everyone knew the Gryffindor Golden Girl’s story.

    He’s not Draco Malfoy now.

    He’s Mr. Hudson.

    [​IMG]

    Sorry girl, but you missed out
    Well tough luck that boy's mine now
    We are more than just good friends
    This is how the story ends
    Too bad that you couldn't see
    See the man that boy could be
    There is more than meets the eye
    I see the soul that is inside
    He's just a boy and I'm just a girl
    can I make it anymore obvious?
    We are in love, haven`t you heard?
    How we rock each others world!
    I’m with the skaterboi
    I said see ya later boi
    I'll be backstage after the show
    I'll be at the studio
    Singing the song we wrote
    About a girl you used to know.

    ============

    So tell me. U mad?

    Edit: Apparently this sucks. HELP ME, LK! HELP ME!
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2011
  10. El Duderino

    El Duderino Groundskeeper

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    You killed it.
     
  11. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    No I didn't.

    Completely different Lulz-set.

    I'm sorry you're not in on it.
     
  12. El Duderino

    El Duderino Groundskeeper

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    Really. That was bad.
     
  13. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Well, you can't win all your battles.
     
  14. El Duderino

    El Duderino Groundskeeper

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    As a wise man once said: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
     
  15. Reuben

    Reuben Squib

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    Aaanyway... back to summaries:

    Know how I know he's gay?
     
  16. LOUD-Noises

    LOUD-Noises First Year

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    Because the only way someone could type that badly is if he's sucking a dick while typing.

    (iknoyouknofromfirstsentance)
     
  17. Sir Sable

    Sir Sable Second Year

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    QFT
    /tenchars.
     
  18. Fatality

    Fatality Order Member

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    Why is there a bunch of pictures of Draco Malfoy in the worst summaries thread...? Seriously, on this entire page only one summary has been posted so far.

    Warning: My formatting might be a bit screwed - I haven't posted a summary before.

    Is this even coherent?

    Did this person seriously think people need instructions on how to find the prequel? And he signed his name in the summary?
     
  19. Sir Sable

    Sir Sable Second Year

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    Some people are just a special kind of stupid.
     
  20. Fatality

    Fatality Order Member

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    And, unfortunately, a huge amount of them enjoy hanging out at FF.net...
     
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