Link to the rant?

 

I am left concerned by this opening chapter, but at the same time, I really liked enough of his previous chapters to earn another few weeks of me reading this. I for one hope that this was an opening "lets dive into the action" chapter, and that he will give us a little more backtrack-a-go-go to explain WTF just happened.

 

He stated on his yahoo group that the next chapter jumps back, and we go back and just travel through it normally.

Except we now know how it ends.

 

After you know Snape kills Dumbledore, the whole plot of Book 6 can proceed just as it normally would. Except that you now know how it ends.

 

There's been a bit of a pile-on of late that I don't think is entirely fair. It's not an unreasonable literary device to start with an action scene and then roll back the clock. jbern did it in Bungle. Shezza did it in Denarian Knight. Yeah, we know a few chapters early that Harry bonded with Luna and yeah, there's the whole guns vs. magic thing that is generally unsatisfying, but I doubt these are the biggest reveals we're going to get in this story and the author may surprise us with a not-badly handled Muggle/Magical clash. While there are matters one might quibble over, for a story that updates every week I'm willing to extend the author a bit of suspension of disbelief.

There are not a lot of great stories being updated regularly. This one works well enough for me to keep reading.

 

The problem here is that the last chapter was godawful, this chapter was pretty terrible, and the author has, well, a history. Right now the story's mostly been coasting on potential, but everyone is worried that it's never going to show

 

I disagree with describing last chapter as "godawful", "terrible" etc. Chapter itself is good. It have chance to be the first story with well done non-magical/wizards war that is without inexcusable problems*. And for now this part is at least readable (knife? why knife?). Problem is with missing chapters (betweens book I and II) and badly handled exposition (first 30 chapters).

*what I encountered: trench warfare (yes, with teleporting wizards and planes), wizards suddenly unable to use mind control, no spell is able to stop guns, nukes/planes are not used without any reason, wizards able to disable technology over entire Earth with a simple spell etc. I always wanted to find a good story about this and for now "Mud, Blood, & the Sound of Guns" with "Old Soldiers Never Die" is all that is readable. And in both cases worldbuilding is bad.

 

I don't necessarily have anything against the idea of the Muggle government having its own way of, at the very least, observing the magical world's happenings. It seems silly not to when the Prime Minister at the very least, is aware of their presence. But I have yet to see a feature length fic that actually pulls it off well. To many make the Muggles way too powerful (and also don't really answer the question as to why they never got involved before).

So far, Firebird's Son hasn't given me any confidence it'll do it well. The worst part is that the parents of the muggleborns are the ones involved. I'll be even more irritated if they actually started it.

The whole literary device of foreshadowing the future completely fails here. It destroys ALL the tension that had been building up (well, what little is still left over after the last chapter of the first book). Hell, we weren't even sure yet who his first bond would be! And it didn't even really do it that well - I found the scenes boring and cheesy.

I was enjoying the story up until last chapter and I think this cements its failing in my eyes. I think I'll read a few more chapters, but I'm really skeptical it'll go to where it should have been.

 

It's been stated that Justine Finch-Fletchley's father Marcus was a retired Commander in the RAF and it's quite plausible that he remains connected to secret government programs through the revolving-door thing a lot of brass do upon leaving the service. He could well have been in a good position to engage the government at a high level upon being tipped off by Harry of circumstances in the Magical world.

That he drew Marcus Granger into the mix (himself a former member of the military and "in the know" regarding the Magical world) is not wholly implausible considering how both of their daughters are tied up in Harry's world.

We don't know about the other parents or their level of involvement (if any) in any of this.

This is a legitimate complaint, akin to the one I had when the whole Lloyd/tea leaves deus ex machina played out a few chapters back, that the author worked so hard to get all this tension built up, and then he just seems to have squandered it all for an easy out. But we always knew Harry was going to bond with Luna at some point and that Hermione wouldn't be his first bond. We also knew he was going to bond by his birthday. This isn't all that big a reveal, honestly, and it adds the whole question how we get from "hidden at home at the Dursleys" to "bonded to Luna and on the run." And why? How is Harry's situation any better bonded to Luna and on the run vs. not bonded to anyone and on the run? These questions will be revealed in the next couple of chapters, apparently.

I appreciate your frustration. I'm going to keep reading as I'm intrigued enough by the world-building that I can overlook a few plot issues that are less than enchanting. I would note that DM did say on his forum:

Emphasis mine. He's at least aware of expectations and attempting to have the Muggle involvement not be a cookie-cutter thing like we're used to seeing in fanfiction. Whether he pulls it off... I guess we'll see.

 

Yeah, I thought this was pretty stupid. A bunch of terrorists attack a kid on the subway, and in the firefight to defend himself and his girlfriend the train gets derailed. Way to blame the victim, muggle scum.

 

Not necessarily saying implausible, just cheesy as hell.

Also, if we assume the circumstance is the same as canon, then the Prime Minister (and probably other people in the government) are aware of the magical world. If they haven't already implemented a task force that keeps the magical world under observation/check, there would likely be a reason why.

There are ways you can get a round that (eg, they have all the high ups swear binding oaths/sign magical contracts/etc not to do anything like that, while Marcus has nothing holding him down), but it still comes across as a bit cheesy.

I've always thought what would work best is if the British government had long had such a task force keeping an eye on the magical world from the shadows, and interfering in a very subtle way.

To be honest, I didn't think this was that bad.

Obviously the "I might shoot him myself" wasn't being literally serious, but I can see them being very angry at Harry.

You can imagine them being caught between trying to be the "adults" who are trying to help a boy being caught in an unfair situation and having to deal with the fact that the boy in question is also a walking weapon of mass destruction when it comes to normal muggles.

Sure, it is understandable that Harry tried to defend himself, but if you can imagine an analogous situation where you have a military force come under fire by enemies and respond in such a way that leads to high civilian casualties, they wouldn't be garnering any sympathy either. Magic turns Harry into the metaphorical tank that just fired a shell into a building to try to take out another tank - just that it's being driven by a teenager, instead of a soldier.



I never really had a chance to comment on Hermione's thoughts in the previous chapter where she felt regret over getting close to Harry and a lot of people here weren't very happy with that.

I would point out to that as well, that it seemed quite natural to me. Consciously knowing that you may be getting yourself into a bad situation and actually experiencing how horrible it really is are two different things - particularly for a teenager full of romantic ideals without really understanding what nearly being murdered actually feels like.

And of course, as someone pointed out, I'm sure everyone has been in a bad situation where when they're high on adrenalin and still in shock, they think very different thoughts to when they're in the right state of mind.

 

It was mentioned that they tried some time ago with military, but it failed.

 

One can feel regret without blaming an innocent party for their misfortune. And, since Hermione is privy to most of what's going on with Harry and the way he's being treated by society, she knows none of this is his fault, and should be perfectly capable of thinking, "I know it's not his fault, but I still regret having met him."

It would be kind of douchey, but she could.

To flat out blame someone for your misfortune when you know that not only was it not their fault, but that they're possibly even a bigger victim than you are is bull; however, to act that way in the face of the news that he just saved her... again...

Biiiitch.

Again, I'm kind of hoping it was a throwaway line that DM just didn't properly think about before committing it to the page.

A small part of me is also hoping her comment gets back to Harry, the second he gets a breather from being hunted, and he's so tired, raw, and fed up at that point that his reaction to her callousness sends her straight from 'good friend and obvious contender for second wife' to 'last picked because I couldn't think of anyone better; wench, you better realize how lucky you just got'.

 

New update!

Spoiler

We find out the contents of Lily's letter, and we see Harry and Luna's first meeting. I can't help but think it a little corny, but Luna's depiction seems par for the course.

 

Wow.
Holy shit those were some of the worst, most cringe worthy scenes I think I've ever read.
I think it actually would have been better if they just dropped everything and fucked right there in front of Petunia and Vernon. At least it would have been funny, instead of reading like a god damn train wreck.
How could I have had any positive feelings toward this fic before this?

 

Because before it actually was ok? I think the easiest way to describe this latest update is to point out that it covers from the end of the 1st book to the point of Harry's bonding, and somehow manages to do so without harry making a single meaningful decision. Needless to say, pretty awful.

 

Never before have I had such a lack of joy, a deficit of schadenfreude, a negation of optimism from thinking a fic wouldn't live up to its potential.

 

This is getting funnier and funnier. I think the author has made the full transition to crack, by now.

 

I think this story is the new MoR, as the only "discussion" seems to be the weekly pile-on. I think anyone who might have wanted to discuss something else about the story (e.g., a thoughtfully written Luna, some speculation on plot points revealed this chapter) has pretty much given up at this point. I know I have.