I was thinking about this story, and I wondered if Harry's ultimate goal would be to just get rid of the concept of bonding all-together. Because right now it's men being oppressed, but it'd be pretty hypocritical for Harry to just go like, "Yup, we're getting rid of bonds... for men. Women however....."

It'd just be Harry switching the roles, and when I thought about that I felt pretty bad for initially wanting that to happen.

 

Finally, got some plot moving. I'm in the no-bonds camp, if only because the rebel against the system plot works so well here. Hell, you've even got a great setup for a slow slide into darkness or a real sacrifices storyline as opposed to how those sort of tales normally go! There's just so much potential here and I'm hoping to god it gets tapped well.

 

This story obviously sets up rebel against the system plot (entire setting screams "it is dystopia, protagonist will rebel against this") and with it is confirmed.

I think that this story may serve as example of brilliant worldbuilding, decent story and exposition done in the worst way that can be done without lowering the story below decent quality.

BTW:

http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/120568/90363730/1/Firebird-s-Son-Chap-31-Review-Responses

So it really starts rolling.

 

You can't restructure a society in which 3/4 of the population are invested and expect not to step on a few toes, or throats.

I think the author has already confirmed that Harry will bond, multiple times. Depending on how he takes it, this can range from the best case scenario of dissapointing to the worst of, well, being unable to continue reading due to severe blood loss through the eyes.

 

I think the bonds are natural and not something induced artificially. However, the choice of foci seems the alter the way magic flows between the bonded pair. When using staffs, power goes from witches to wizards, and with wands its the reverse. It should be possible device a focus that results in no power being transmitted.

You are deluded if you think the current system isn't oppressive to witches also.

 

Muggleborns, perhaps. The clear social hierarchy means that some witches have lesser priority, don't get assigned as first bondmates, have to do whatever their boss-witches tell them, etc. Boo hoo. They still have it much, much better than wizards.

 

Actually, while muggleborn witches are scorned, they are free to marry muggle men and basically live in the non-magical world. Pureblood witches don't really have any way to escape the expectations of their society.

While wizards have it worse, I don't think anyone is really happy with their current system. To me it seems that only tradition and the fear of wizards making a mess of things again keeps the system from collapsing.

 

That's the point. Darth Marrs stories and especially this story feature a lot of scenes I really don't like. At the same time he manages to create something entirely new, in a fandom that has been covering every thinkable and unthinkable plot that's coming to mind over and over again.

Furthermore the author doesn't just paint a black-and-white picture of witches dominating wizards. He creates a rather complex world based on two fears: the fear of freely roaming powerful wizards and the fear of not getting a husband.

Dumbledore's role is ambiguous. It seems that the rules of this world don't apply to him any longer, but how far does his influence actually go? The same goes for other men as well - do Malfoy and Fudge have any influence on politics at all? At the same time it seems the influence of some Dames is based on the family name of their husbands.

The for now unclear situation in North America indicates that there are several movements to overcome the system, with Voldemort just one of them. So there are several options for the plot to go: Harry might leave Europe behind, he might become the focus of a similar civil war in the UK or Europe, or the plot could even follow canon and have Harry as part of the system eventually defeat Voldemort again.


All in all the story isn't that brilliant, but the novelty and complexity makes it worth to be read.

 

That is not true (not sure whatever it was covered in-story or is it from responses to reviews).

@Dark Minion

And it is almost certain that story will not end abandoned, there are regular updates.

 

Pretty sure that was just from the review responses. In-story we've learned very little about the witches' perspective on the world due to it being from Harry's POV, but the author's comments have pretty consistently been along the lines of that things aren't really much better for the majority of witches than it is for the wizards.

 

I thought this worked for everyone, witches and wizards alike. If you don't follow the system, your magic gets binded, a permanent veil is snapped on you and you can be on your merry way in the muggle world to live as a muggle.

 

Witches, yes. Wizards? I believe doubt was cast on this before. Harry or someone speculated that they were memory-charmed and bonded against their will because society couldn't afford to lose the men this way.

 

New update. Now that we've gotten away from the incredibly stale quidditch storylines, the plot for this "book" is really picking up. This last update was one of my favorites in that respect.

Also, I know it's technically a real name, but every time I see it I get annoyed that the author chose "Georgina" for the feminized version of "George" rather than "Georgia."

 

The fact that Harry will inevitably bond with about 4 witches keeps me from enjoying much of anything.
I am still reading the story though. I can't deny my interest in its development.

 

Harry has been really inconsistent in his characterization these last few chapters.

I think that has been one of the biggest issues with this story so far. Harry's character isn't very consistent. The tantrum at the start of the chapter felt forced given his previous character. His idea to read the tea leaves felt contrived. As was his kiss with Hermione.

The other thing is, once again he's not really doing anything to control his fate. He just relies on others as well as his uncontrolled abilities (being an aether, being a Seer and being a super powerful wizard).

Really didn't like the way this chapter was executed.

 

This is the problem I see in WIPs and continuing a scene from a previous chapter. The author loses the momentum and tension that he built up from a week previous. Harry has been on a slow boil ever since Hermione was attacked. He blows up his wand, gets threatened by his coven leader that he's to be killed or stilled (or whatever), etc. and then...

(A week later)

He almost throws a hissy.

My advice is to actually finish the scene before ending the chapter. The momentum was totally blown. But I have been enjoying the last two chapters.

 

This pretty much echoes the review I left on the chapter:

Harry's passivity is my biggest problem with this story so far. There have been a few times he's shown some spine--inviting Hermione, getting Snape as guardian--but then he immediately gets pussywhipped and smacked down, which just isn't great for character development or reader investment in Harry's situation. He's powerful, he's an aether, he's a great flyer, he's a seer. He's got all this going for him and... what exactly is he doing? I get that Harry's constrained by society, but relying only on his automatic skills and not actually seeking to do something is weak. At this point, knowing what he knows of his destiny, Harry should be actively trying to change things. Sure, he may not succeed, but he needs to be trying.

Spoiler

In particular, I felt the Lloyd/tea leaves episode this chapter took all the air out of what was an interesting conflict, doing so in a deus ex machina fashion. There really was no need either: if Harry is going to be starting his own coven anyway, why not have Dame Griffin force him into a loveless bond and jack up to eleven his hatred for the magical world? A little childish tantrum in Dumbledore's office seems sorry consolation when the alternative is the drama of Harry's being forced to succor some witch twenty-odd years his senior and who is actively seeking to yoke him and his magic.

Come on, give Harry real chains to break, real injustices to rail against, a genuine reason to hate this world before he sunders it. In other words, up the stakes already. It's time.

I do hope that the meeting with the Covens will do just this, that it won't be just, "OC invented a chapter before steps in and saves the day." That would be a total cop out.

Your story has so much potential for awesome and I really want to see you find that well of writing courage and pen the story I know you can. It's high time for things to start happening, for some major conflicts to arise and some major plot developments.

 

I agree and I expressed a similar sentiment when I reviewed back at chapter 20 when she was promoting a future poaching attempt on Harry:

Turns out, the poaching attempt she was talking about was pretty weak and the introduction of the Lloyd Coven before the Sabbat left me disappointed at what I thought would be an interesting segment. At the very least, she could have put him in the Croaker Coven with Augusta Longbottom, whom I'm sure he would have butted heads with.

 

When I take breaks between writing, I just re-read everything. It works.