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First Steps by Stowfords - K+

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Vir, Nov 30, 2008.

1.7999999523163/5, 5 votes
  1. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    11
    Location:
    Canada
    High Score:
    1,907
    Nov 30, 2008 #1
    Title: First Steps
    Author: Stowfords
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Adventure
    DLP Category: Independent
    Pairing: Unknown, possible H/F!Blaise
    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: AU 4th year A child like none other. With the power to perform a corporeal Patronus. What could have happened with a few steps in the right direction?
    Link: Fanfiction.net

    4/5
     
  2. Kthr

    Kthr Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2008
    Messages:
    713
    Location:
    São Paulo, Brazil
    Nov 30, 2008 #2
    Huh, honestly I couldn't find any good points on the fic. There's no plot being developed, Harry just act like an cliched!Idiot, following orders and trusting in anything Figg or that weird teacher says. He also goes along the story just picking up whichever trick they show him, having no difficult while doing something and let us not even getting started on casting some spells that the author created without any explanation for its effects.

    1/5 since the author can still save the fic.

    -oh and, forgive me but i'm too sleepy to write a review better than that crappy thing up there-
     
  3. Goddessa39

    Goddessa39 DA Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    162
    Location:
    My Mind, Earth
    Nov 30, 2008 #3
    The summary was very enchanting. I believed it held promise. Those beliefs died in a shock of blue inferno with Whiny!Harry, Oblivious!Harry, and my hatred a figgs. Not recommended.

    Still, if you can read it, it may turn out better than I think.
     
  4. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    11
    Location:
    Canada
    High Score:
    1,907
    Nov 30, 2008 #4
    I'm sure that the flaws that Harry has are growing pains from Cannon!harry. The idea being that Harry in the books is an abject retard. No one can develop the kind of intellect that we want from a good fanfiction overnight, it just doesn't happen. Give it time.
     
  5. Marzik

    Marzik Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    9
    Nov 30, 2008 #5
    I actually started reading this the other day during some FFN browsing.

    The summary was good enough to rouse my interest too, but I did not make it past the first or second chapter.

    1.5 or 2/5 at best--certainly not worthy of the Bin. Not quite a trainwreck, but unreadable to me.
     
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    Nov 30, 2008 #6
    Rofl, this guy cannot write. Perhaps he would be slightly luckier in third-person, the first-person perspective here is pointless, not exploited in the way Joe does for Wastelands of Time, and makes the drabness of the writing glaringly apparent.

    The quality of the writing doesn't improve overnight too, but no way in my sticking here long enough for that to happen. I'd describe it as a gentle trainwreck.

    1/5.