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Complete Fool Me Twice by DawnieS - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by ViolentRed, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. ViolentRed

    ViolentRed Professor

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2010
    Messages:
    496
    Title: Fool Me Twice
    Author: DawnieS
    Rating: T
    Genre: Romance/Mystery
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: James/Lily
    Chapters: 22
    Words: 105,380
    Updated: August 13, 2011
    Published: February 3, 2011

    Status: Complete
    Summary: Lily Evans is pretty, vivacious, intelligent… and accused of murder. James Potter is arrogant, cocky, privileged… and her best chance at avoiding Azkaban. If only he wasn't convinced of her guilt. With a war looming in the background and evil slowly seeping into the wizarding world, seven years of secrets unravel, and two very different people find themselves caught up in a battle against privilege, intolerance, and greed. But even in the darkness, and even in the despair, there is still friendship, and love, and hope.
    Link: FFN

    This could also fit in The Alternates or Romance.

    Slight AU, mostly based on a change in the timeline. The story focuses on Lily's trial for the murder of Remus Lupin against the background of a prejudiced society and the threat of civil war. It has none of the romantic drama the first part of the summary seems to imply.

    The fic drives on its character interactions, the suspense of the trial, the mystery of the murder and the history that led up to it. The romantic elements are maturely handled and built up slowly, but remain relatively sparse. As such, the story seems better suited for fans of legal dramas and thrillers with political elements than hardcore shippers.

    Writing and grammar are fine, although the author sometimes uses wrong, but similar sounding words (one instead of won, for example). The ending deserves some criticism as well. I felt it dragged on a bit, possibly because the resolution of the mystery still left after the conclusion of the trial wasn't handled as well as the rest of the story.

    All in all, it's still probably the best James/Lily fic I've read.


    Checked by Minion, August 20, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2013
  2. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    This was pretty good. The characterisation and writing were well done and the story kept me hooked.
    Having Lily and Remus be a few years younger than James and Sirius worked well enough.
    Major plus is that it's a good story featuring the older generation, which has a lot of potentially interesting characters. The story was different enough it felt sort of refreshing to read.

    I was disappointed somewhat that Snape and Pettigrew didn't turn up in the story at all. Not completely surprising since the author took a lot of liberties with canon but they can be great characters and I think the author could have done it.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2011
  3. Lightfighter

    Lightfighter Third Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2009
    Messages:
    91
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I read it in one sitting, was very pleasantly surprised. The mystery in itself was well done, as was the buildup and feelings of anticipation and suspense, etc. As the OP said, the main focus of the story was the interactions between characters.

    The romance between James and Lily was really quite a small part of the story and did not crowd it in any way. The author does take quite a few liberties with canon, such as placing Remus and Lily a few years below Sirius and James, but to little negative effect. I do feel that Lily's characterization was a bit off, but I'll be the first to admit that I have little basis for that (other than reading too much fanfiction, perhaps) since there's not much of a canon comparison. That could also be chalked up to the changes in the timeline.

    I think that the story's true strength lies in the trial scenes. They were my favorite parts of the story and were handled very well - Rodolphus' hatred and loathing are well conveyed, as are James' righteous indignation. Suspense was felt throughout.

    All in all, definitely worth a read. There were a few minor quibbles: I agree with ViolentRed regarding the ending. We do reach a conclusion and find out some answers, but the method in which it's revealed and the resulting fallout are a bit lacking and don't, I think, do the rest of the story justice. Also,
    I can't help but feel that ultimately it didn't really matter that it was Fenrir who killed Remus. It also kinda bothered me that Lily never found out who actually did it. Wasn't that meant to be the original purpose of the story? Also, while the mystery itself was intriguing, I can't help but feel that James Potter was generally a passive figure, allowing the answers to come to him as opposed to going out and searching for the truth himself. He finds out about how Malfoy was meant to be Minister etc through being attacked by Regulus, and basically just found out various details of the case as Lily slowly relented and told him part by part. Because of that, I'd have to say this story was much more political thriller than murder-mystery, mostly because James really didn't do much sleuthing at all. The story in itself was still fascinating, though.

    Despite all that, the story is quite enjoyable for its buildup and characterizations and is deserving of a place in the Library; 4/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2011
  4. Eidolonic

    Eidolonic Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    1,487
    I really like this. Slightly AU, but the progression of James' character as the mystery unfolds was well done, and Narcissa is a truly interesting character. The writing is excellent, with only the smallest of typos or such, I think I saw one 'went' when it should have been 'when', but not anything that ruins immersion.

    5/5 from me.
     
  5. Rynonis

    Rynonis Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Messages:
    175
    Like Grisham. But Potterverse is involved. One of the better non-Harry stories I have ever read. 4.5/5 from me.
     
  6. Lawyer in Exile

    Lawyer in Exile Second Year

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2008
    Messages:
    53
    Location:
    Budapest, Hungary
    It's a solid story. Good writing, nice mystery, a bit of tension. Not a bestseller, but certainly a good find to pass time. Needs a proofreader to pick out the typos and the few mistakes it has.

    ^^ this is it.

    4/5
     
  7. Blazzano

    Blazzano Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2009
    Messages:
    770
    This wasn't too bad, really, though I believe it's not quite library-worthy. While the concept is an interesting one - an AU where the first Voldemort war was delayed, leaving more of a "cold war" feel - I felt that it was somewhat clumsy in some ways.

    The story's villains were nerfed; not only was their case weak, but their rhetoric in the trial wasn't too great. Given that, it wasn't too hard to make James and his allies sound competent enough to win a court case on Lily's behalf.

    Just as importantly, I didn't think that the author succeeded in conveying what makes Lily's personality so desirable to those around her. To me, there really wasn't that much about her that was charming, except for her strikingly good looks. At best, her personality seemed like the sort that grows on you over time, though that didn't explain why James fell for her as fast as a horny teenager, even while she was stonewalling and lying to him.

    I voted 3/5, though I think the story is fairly close to a 3.5.
     
  8. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    5,053
    Location:
    Hbg., Germany
    Read this during the holidays.

    I really liked it. It's Canon dumped into a pot and stirred energetically, but I could get behind that after a few chapters, and from then it worked as a nice AU. Personal highlights were Narcissa's characterisation, and the second half, where it picked up and became great -- how the story played with our and James' perception of whether Lily did or did not kill Malfoy, down to the resolution and well-presented moral dilemma: Did she kill Malfoy and get away free, all those years ago? And could that be justified, because he was a key figure in Voldemort's plans?

    The story has a mature approach towards that question, and also towards Lily's character (which I really liked as well) including the small bits of romance, and together with nice and very readable writing, it's a sure 4/5. Recommended.
     
  9. Henry Persico

    Henry Persico Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    340
    Location:
    Argentina
    Searching for completed stories I found myself with this thread. I started it a couple of nights ago and after the first chapters I was trapped.
    As Blazzano commented the trial wasn't well developed. Nor I think one of the misteries, the missing object, was all that hard to deduce. The romance premise is mild and the reader will feel it's going to be fulfilled way before the end, the same about the final veredict of the Wizengamot.
    But I rate this 5/5 for the characterisation of Lily and Narcissa above all and the way the impending war was portrayed behind the scenes.