Hey. That grandma is pure.

Aaah. Posted right after Halt. Please don't smite me.

 

I got as far as seeing that it was a Naruto fic before I ran screaming for the big red X in the corner. Even setting aside the fact that I loathe Naruto as a setting, Noodlehammer is already a self-confessed basement-dwelling neckbeard with an unhealthy obsession with harem protags and other cringey-as-fuck anime tropes.

His HP fic and its ASoIaF sequel were occasionally amusing, but I have less than zero interest in indulging any more of the guy's sad weeb fantasies.

 

To be fair, it looks like it may actually be a single pairing for once. But, I'm not a Naruto fan either, so meh.

 

Fixed that for you. I would be sincerely shocked if he made it to chapter 10 without adding a couple more.

 

By the start of 3rd year, Harry McThundercock is the most cleverest Ravenclaw that ever graced the world with his presence, he's the tallest and most handsome lad in the castle, he's a budding master at wandless silent casting, he "gets" magic truly like no one does because.... uh because he played RPGs or something I dunno. He's executed several "rituals" of his own making from his deep and precise knowledge of runes and arithmancy, which gave him lots of various bonus stats like legilimency immunity. His inherent skill makes him basically solve all the canon plot points almost off-screen, by pure instinct. Sirius Black? yeah I read of him in a book. Clearly he's innocent it's obvious to a cleverman genius like me.
And of course, by that point, he has a monster cock, big balls and has fucked many a hot (older) young girl, each time he ejaculated on them dozens of times and kept going because he's a sex machine. What a god.

There is nothing salvageable in this trashheap of a "story". There is no magic, no heart. It's nothing but a tired bag of half-assed clichés barely put together to justify hundreds and hundreds of words of shitty juvenile smut. It's frankly disgusting and does not belong in this category.

0/5 stars

 

Sounds like someone doesn't have a monster cock with big balls. Try not to be jealous mate.

 

Something suspicious about this when compared to his other stories, no harem? His protagonist doesn't have advantages to grow op like others? (Naurto had the Kyuubi, strong body from the Uzumaki, seals genius and an obsession about the Kyuubi that made him desperate to grow stronger, his Harry had obsession about magic, if a weaker one than what Naruto had about the Kyuubi, and the prophecy protected him when he should have killed himself with the runes, resulting in him getting insights to wandless magic he should have taken decades to achieve with no teacher).

If he continued this story and have control on it (he might not because it is a commission), than I doubt it will stay lazy SI being A or regular S class while the protagonists like Naruto and Sasuke handle the gods)?

 

I remember Noodlehammer specifically making the point that Harry was only slightly above average in length. Thus, the fic is distinguished from its trashy bretheren.

 

I just realized this dude's story has 15 pages worth of people reeing about it, lad is doing something right.

 

You should see the Methods of Rationality thread.

 

Well, it's featured in DLP's C2, after all. You know, the C2 comprised only of stories that received 5 stars through the DarkLordPotter review process or that were written by the most prestigious authors to pass through those hallowed halls.

That says something, right?

 

The first few chapters were run fast through the first years and sex was already appearing at likes chapter 6 when it started calming down pace wise.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13701065/13/Metagaming

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

 

Apparently Noodlehammer has a couple of smut novels that he's trying to sell on Amazon. I read the preview of one of them. It's... exactly something Noodlehammer would write. Very rapey.

 

Fuckin' lol.