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WIP Forward by Peptuck - T

Discussion in 'Firefly' started by Dark Syaoran, Nov 13, 2008.

  1. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

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    Who else is still following this story? Its coming along great and another arc was just completed today. Some pretty fucking epic stuff even if the premise of the arcs are pretty much variations of canon.

    The latest arc uses visual cues from "Trash" and "The Message"
     
  2. Imperator Pesmerga

    Imperator Pesmerga Seventh Year

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    I'm following this story. I'm in the middle of the 'Adrift' episode right now.

    It's a great story with good action, characterization, and fast updates. My only problem with it is that, I dunno, it's too action pack at times. Most of my favorite episodes in Firefly were the ones that were more laid back and humorous, while in Forward, it's really fast paced and action oriented. But with that said, it's still a great fic.

    EDIT: Just finished Adrift. My favorite arc so far, I think.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  3. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

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    Updated with another interlude, and for good measure this one has black market beagles! Pretty damn awesome update and by the looks of it, an intriguing arc to come.
     
  4. Eidolonic

    Eidolonic Chief Warlock

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    Just thought I'd say that this is still updated, and is still awesome. The..6th? Episode of sorts is finishing up. I hadn't read this in a while, so went back to reread the whole thing, and I got another burst of hate towards Fox for canning the show.

    This really is a superb piece of fanfiction, arguably the best I've read across any genre. It might just be because it's so hard to find quality Firefly stuff, but... -shrug-
     
  5. Anarchy

    Anarchy Fourth Champion DLP Supporter

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    Necro sort of I guess, not updated or anything like that. I spent a few days watching through the tv series + movie, which were all awesome, and naturally I was left wanting more. I checked out this library section of 7 stories before someone recommended this specific one to me on IRC. I've only finished the first 4 episodes, but am taking a break to do some other stuff.

    Firstly, this fic is an easy 5/5, but it's got many flaws.

    -River pov scenes. The stream of consciousness type writing was interesting at first but got old after the third or fourth time of having to read dozens of paragraphs formatted like this. I understand the author was trying to show that her mind is a disjointed and jumbled mess and she has no control over her empathy/psychicness, but still, it's over the top.

    -Ensemble cast. This was a big problem from the very start. It's easy for television because you can give a lot of interesting characters screen time with a lot of action in a 40 minute show. But that doesn't translate too well to a story like this. It took something like 14 chapters just to do 2 scenes, and most of it was just switching between pov to show the same scene from another angle. It takes forever for anything to happen because of that, instead of 40 minutes for an episode it was like 4 hours, and a feeling of dissatisfaction.

    -Zoe's name. It's spelled Zoe Alleyne, not Zoë Allyne. That's a pretty big error considering she's a main character. Last name doesn't matter to much, since it's actually Washburne, but her first name doesn't have umlauts.

    -repetitiveness. Several scenes/ideas were quite repetitive. First are the Serenity cargo bay mass fight scenes. Every 'episode' had it happen once, so 4 times in 4 episodes where 20 men are storming aboard Serenity guns ablazing. Yawn.

    -Weird details. Some were just odd plot ideas that bugged the hell out of me. In the story, Mirand's reaver fleet took out 25% of the alliance space fleet. 25% seems awfully high, considering the reavers limited technology and numbers. There was ~30,000 of them when it first started, and that was yeas before this battle took place. And the alliance has superior firepower, and numbers. They can draw recruits from all the some odd hundred planets, which is potentially millions of people, so I find a quarter of that large number destroyed quite baffling.

    -Blatant plot setups. I don't mind setting up the plot, when done properly it's awesome, but this author failed several times. First was when Jayne let Nishka live and just took a few fingers. Yawn, the Serenity crew has already gone against Nishka three times now, just kill him. Jayne would have. The next big one that comes to my mind is when they are looting the Blue Sun farm and Jayne sees the guy in the ghillie moving and that doesn't send red flags up to the super merc. And then a few scenes later he dives out the window and drops Vera, and leaves it there, despite it being the only weapon he has any ammo for. Come on, get real, that would never happen, and it was clearly a blatant (and bad) set up for later. Another big one would be Simon impaling himself on a pair of scissors in zero-g. El oh el. How would that happen to the doctor of all people, let alone in zero-g. And of course he's going to drown in his own blood, and none of them realize that instead of undoing the biofoam (Is there even biofoam in canon? I sense a whiff of Halo with that) they could have just inserted a tube between his ribs. The terribleness of that plot idea is what's stopping me from reading the next one.

    But there is a lot of awesomeness in this story, there's no question about that. Jayne's awesome as always, and Book is as well. And River kissing that random girl was quite funny, along with a few of her one-liners. Mal's character is probably one of the weakest, but still pretty good. Wash had his moments in the show, but him and Zoe are pretty average here. Even weaker than Mal's is Simon's though, but I never liked him much anyways. Honestly though, just reading about Jayne and River kicking peoples ass is enough, doesn't matter what everyone else does.
     
  6. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

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    For anyone still following this, it was just updated. The Jayne Cobb mutual manhunt is reaching its crescendo.
     
  7. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

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    Yeah, chapter 70 was pretty damn amusing, and the setup for the finale of this mini-arc is looking good so far.
     
  8. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

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    For any one still reading this there's been a recent update along with several older ones along the way. Still awesome as ever.

    the latest chapter ends with River about to make good her claim of "I can kill you with my brain"
     
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