DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Competition topic: Magical New Year!

Marathon goal? Crank out words!

Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.
Dismiss Notice
Hi there, Guest
Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
Dismiss Notice
Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

New Thread Thursday
+
Shit Post Sunday

READ ME
Dismiss Notice

DLP Story Competition Guest User Registration Nag SPS + NTT

Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 3 of 109

pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

Joined:

Jan 24, 2014

Messages:

1,462

Gender:

Male

Location:

Dancing in the Mindfield

Dec 7, 2019 #41

Reclaiming The Remnants | FFN

Unknown, Utsane, Inert, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, MonkeyEpoxy, Sauce Bauss, Republic, Zerg_Lurker, oakgem217
Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Joined:

Sep 19, 2018

Messages:

1,537

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia

Dec 7, 2019 #42

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

Unknown, Ash'Ura, oakgem217, Majube
Selethe normalphobe ⭐

Joined:

Feb 13, 2012

Messages:

562

Location:

Maryland

Dec 7, 2019 #43

Selethe || Cell#9999

Selethe is a being that greatly resembles a sea sponge. She can suck anything up just from existing near it for a brief period of time. - Syaoran, 06.24.2020

Unknown, Utsane, Longsword, The Iron Rose, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Majube, DarthBill, Mister Ferro, pbluekan, oakgem217, Oz
Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

Joined:

Mar 16, 2011

Messages:

198

High Score:

2020

Dec 8, 2019 #44

Menace said: ↑

"Be my friend, motherfucker!" Naruto howled, slamming the rasengan into Gaara's face.
Click to expand...

chrnno, Acquiescing Avian, Valor, wolf550e, Jibril, Sauce Bauss, Phantom of the Library, Xiph0, 9th Doctor, Inert, The Arid Legion, Longsword, R. E. Lee, sonder, Quiddity, DarthBill, oakgem217, Oruma, Rhaegar I, Hal, Ash'Ura, carvell, Nevermind, Argosh, Seratin, Agayek, Innomine, DR, pbluekan, Cjonbloodletter
Knyght Alchemist

Joined:

Nov 21, 2010

Messages:

2,349

Location:

England

Dec 8, 2019 #45

Reminds me of Repairman Jack's first job as a "fix-it" man.
lopeck Groundskeeper

Joined:

Oct 22, 2013

Messages:

334

Gender:

Male

Location:

Germany

Dec 8, 2019 #46

Acquiescing Avian, Unknown, Jibril, Sauce Bauss, Phantom of the Library, Utsane, kelkorkesis, Kraken, Longsword, MonkeyEpoxy, Zerg_Lurker, sonder, Quiddity, Moridin, DarthBill, oakgem217, Mister Ferro, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Teyrn, Blorcyn, Nevermind, Download
Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

Joined:

Dec 10, 2009

Messages:

3,427

Gender:

Male

Location:

Texas

Dec 8, 2019 #47

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

Xiph0, Utsane, Kraken, Longsword, Zerg_Lurker, sonder, oakgem217
DR Secret Squirrel –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Joined:

Mar 13, 2006

Messages:

941

Gender:

Male

Location:

Inside the Beltway

High Score:

5312

Dec 8, 2019 #48

Lauren seems to have confused her dogs for her children.

Your faith in the Force can't save you. The Force is the weapon I'll use to rip you limb from limb.

-- Revan
Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 11, 2011

Messages:

3,705

Dec 8, 2019 #49

lopeck said: ↑

-wings-
Click to expand...

Add one to the 'math class in real life' tally.

Curse my sudden but inevitable betrayals.

Ur-Fascism is still around us, sometimes in plainclothes. It would be so much easier for us if there appeared on the world scene somebody saying, "I want to reopen Auschwitz, I want the Blackshirts to parade again in the Italian squares." Life is not that simple. Ur-Fascism can come back under the most innocent of disguises. Our duty is to uncover it and to point our finger at any of its new instances — every day, in every part of the world. [...] Freedom and liberation are an unending task.
Click to expand...

-- Umberto Eco, Ur-Fascism

Unknown, DarthBill
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 14, 2017

Messages:

1,422

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Dec 8, 2019 #50

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Valor, Owimbowé, Jibril, Rhaegar I, Argosh, Xiph0, Inert, kelkorkesis, Blorcyn, Kraken, Longsword, MonkeyEpoxy, Genghiz Khan, Download, oakgem217, Kravot, The Iron Rose, Raiko
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Joined:

Jun 30, 2019

Messages:

485

Gender:

Male

Location:

Holy Terra

Dec 9, 2019 #51

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Unknown, Utsane, Inert, oakgem217
Longsword Banned

Joined:

Feb 1, 2015

Messages:

558

Dec 9, 2019 #52

Are you OK, Han Salsa ?

Unknown, Utsane, sonder
Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Joined:

Sep 19, 2018

Messages:

1,537

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia

Dec 9, 2019 #53

Longsword said: ↑

Are you OK, Han Salsa ?
Click to expand...

It's just a general case summary of every single imgur 'phone clearing' dump.
Unrelated:

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

Unknown, Sauce Bauss, Phantom of the Library, H_A_Greene, The Arid Legion, oakgem217, Kravot, Longsword
Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

Joined:

Apr 28, 2007

Messages:

6,036

Dec 9, 2019 #54

Last edited: Dec 9, 2019

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

Drachna, Lion, Rhaegar I, Utsane, Otters, FlyingOctopus, Kraken, Oruma, H_A_Greene, The Iron Rose, theimmortalhp, Mister Ferro, Cjonbloodletter, pbluekan, Oz, Quiddity, Inert, Nazgoose, Nevermind, oakgem217
Nevermind Minister of Magic

Joined:

Mar 18, 2017

Messages:

1,202

Gender:

Male

Location:

The Medium Place

High Score:

0

Dec 9, 2019 #55

Zombie said: ↑

Click to expand...

One of the more creative ones.

Forever flat to the square right…
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 14, 2017

Messages:

1,422

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Dec 9, 2019 #56

Took me a second.

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."
Glimmervoid Professor

Joined:

Dec 21, 2011

Messages:

424

Location:

UK

Dec 9, 2019 #57

Nevermind said: ↑

One of the more creative ones.
Click to expand...

Don't get it. Anyone mind explaining?
Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

Joined:

Apr 28, 2007

Messages:

6,036

Dec 9, 2019 #58

Read it aloud. And only what the wife said.

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

Unknown
Glimmervoid Professor

Joined:

Dec 21, 2011

Messages:

424

Location:

UK

Dec 9, 2019 #59

Zombie said: ↑

Read it aloud. And only what the wife said.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I see.
H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Joined:

Aug 30, 2009

Messages:

715

High Score:

4,492

Dec 10, 2019 #60

Phantom of the Library, Valor, point09micron, Utsane, FlyingOctopus, oakgem217, DrSarcasm, Kravot, Kraken, DarthBill

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 3 of 109

Loading...

Similar Threads

Official funny pics 4 teh win.

Oz, Aug 20, 2013, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

4,447

Views:

1,110,681

Jon

Jan 23, 2017
Official Video Clips Thread

Oz, Oct 13, 2011, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

1,310

Views:

305,649

Krieger

Oct 31, 2024
Official Funny Pics Part 2

Antivash, Jun 2, 2011, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

1,998

Views:

656,126

Oz

Feb 18, 2012
They Came Bounding Ova-Funny Video

The-Hyphenated-One, Sep 23, 2010, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

8

Views:

2,450

deyas

Sep 27, 2010
Bed Intruder!!!

Ash, Aug 7, 2010, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

9

Views:

4,515

Khazad-Dumb

Apr 23, 2011

Search