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Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 34 of 109

Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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May 23, 2020 #661

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

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May 23, 2020 #662

Sperm death battles, sounds legit

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"
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May 24, 2020 #663

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

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May 24, 2020 #664

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

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Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

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May 25, 2020 #665

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

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May 25, 2020 #666

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

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May 25, 2020 #667

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"

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May 25, 2020 #668

Zilly Sawdust said: ↑

Click to expand...

The real question here is why the fuck is anyone having pasta for breakfast?

Reclaiming The Remnants | FFN

Damy
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May 25, 2020 #669

pbluekan said: ↑

The real question here is why the fuck is anyone having pasta for breakfast?
Click to expand...

What’s wrong with pasta for breakfast?

Blorcyn said:

I don’t meant to say he’s a poof or mawkish.
He’s just really really nice.
And his butthole is like a glove.
Where I thought it would be a draughty wind tunnel.
Click to expand...
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May 25, 2020 #670

Food's food. Arbitrary restrictions that limit me from having what I want at certain times? Hell no.

Have steak for breakfast, who cares?

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Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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May 25, 2020 #671

A steak quesadilla for breakfast is amazing.

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."
ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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May 25, 2020 #672

Sree said:

when you look into your mom's eyes, scott
can you tell how disappointed she is that she has you for a son
Click to expand...

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May 25, 2020 #673

Rehio said: ↑

Food's food. Arbitrary restrictions that limit me from having what I want at certain times? Hell no.
Click to expand...

ScottPress said: ↑

Click to expand...

To give surrender, my soul is wandering

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Zilly Sawdust High Inquisitor

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May 25, 2020 #674

pbluekan said: ↑

The real question here is why the fuck is anyone having pasta for breakfast?
Click to expand...

Pasta salad?

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." - Oscar Wilde
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

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May 26, 2020 #675

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

ScottPress, ExperiencedGamer, Zerg_Lurker, MonkeyEpoxy
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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May 26, 2020 #676

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Kensington, Longsword, pbluekan, H_A_Greene, Argosh, R. E. Lee, MonkeyEpoxy, point09micron, Kravot, The Iron Rose
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May 26, 2020 #677

There are some horrific offerings in there.

Have Australian citizenship, will sham marriage for $$$.

Captain Westeros - MCU/ASoIaF
One man with a shield makes his impact on Planetos. A leviathan task, but Steve Rogers is used to challenges.

THORHAMMER - MCU/Warhammer Fantasy
Thor Odinson is accustomed to landing in strange new worlds. To others, a shocking change. To him? A Thorsday.

Rise - Fable
Orphan boy to Hero of Albion. Cruelty begets vengeance; from struggle comes strength. The Archon's bloodline still has power.

I have a Patreon. Join to read my original short stories and get a vote in what I write each week.

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May 26, 2020 #678

That was posted first in the Cursed Images thread for a reason.

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May 26, 2020 #679

DrSarcasm said: ↑

That was posted first in the Cursed Images thread for a reason.
Click to expand...

Ah hadn't looked in cursed yet today.

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."
Mestre Professor

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May 26, 2020 #680

._.

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