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Complete Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod By Heather Sinclair

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Antivash, Jun 15, 2008.

  1. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    Awesome chapter, even if it didn't have a lot of action. This fic has some of the most well written sexual tension I've ever read.

    Well done.
     
  2. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Well that's quite the compliment, thank you.

    @Bukay - I try very hard to throw at least one really good line per chapter. I hope that fulfilled my quota!

    @Blaise - Thank you. We have to have a little filler every once in a while or it's just hack and slash with very little mystery. But look forward to the next chapter. We're gonna wake up the neighborhood.

    @MonCappy - Short answer ... yes that is an understatement, yes very soon.
     
  3. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Moderator

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    Well, well, finally listened to Vash and gave this a try.

    I don't know anything about the British peerage and such but I am enjoying the setup you are using for your fic. It makes it very interesting. Would like to know why the Order of Bath was set up and how all the officers of the order rank against each other. On that note Manspark is my current favorite OC.

    Looking forward to finding out why the weapons only work for Harry, is it just the position or is it something about him being him? Also, on that note, I assume the royal wizard is a high position and one with a lot of responsibility. You would expect one of a lot of experience there but yet it is Padma, who until the most recent revelations wasn't set apart in canon. Hopefully you will give some background to that.

    I really liked your initial description of the hounds, especially the almost human-like faces, I found that in your second last chapter during the wonderfully paced fight sequence that a line here or there about their features was missing. It would be nice to be reminded of their qualities besides the blue glue and the tongue-maw-of-fangs - Made me think of Tremors incidentally. That is a very small nit pick only because I think the hounds look so kick ass, at least in my mind, as you described them.

    Overall a very, very enjoyable post DH story. Are you planning on using the element of Deathly Hallows? btw Padma knowing exactly what he was talking about in the earlier chapters was a surprise since that part of the story was not public knowledge in DH. Does she know he is the Master of Death? Also that would be a great way to even the playing field since he is going up against the Old Ones and the Elder Gods etc, if he claims the Death Stick he carries around but doesn't use.

    I don't recall if I was reading your other stories, but this one has me hooked. An easy 5/5.

    Edit: It is disdain* not distain. Just mentioning it because you use that word quite a bit.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2008
  4. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

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    Usually I wouldn't bother pointing out minutiae like spelling errors and such because I'm terrible at that in general, but the word "planial" just sounds...squishy... . I think the word would be planar, but maybe thats just from too much D&D.
     
  5. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    You'd like to know 'storywise' or for your own curiosity? When it comes time for Harry to participate in the instillation ceremony in a couple of chapters I'll be going into a few details of the Order. If it's just for curiosity sake ... The major order members are given seats in the House of Lords. It was all political at the time. Imagine Bush being given the right to appoint members to the Senate just by making them knights. All the votes would flow his way. Not exactly the same thing in Great B. but close enough.

    I'm going to go ahead and point out that Padma isn't the Royal Wizard. Interesting little twist there, huh? So what the heck is she doing there in the first place? And as to why the weapons will work better with Harry ... well that's a secret, but I won't let it fall into plot hole oblivion.

    Excellent suggestion, thank you! When I was writing this I was thinking more of Alien, but you are right that tremors would be closer to what I was imagining.

    Not tellin about the Deathly Hallows. You'll have to wait on that one. I will say that you are the first to ask the question about Padma's unlikely knowledge of certain events. I suppose that may be because of you reading the current story thus far. Or maybe you just ask yourself questions better than most. But again I have to bow to future plot points and not say anything just yet.

    Thank you very much for the detailed review and your suggestions!
     
  6. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Okay! I Finally got around to reading this chapter!

    To be honest, I dun think it was as clawsome as the last chapter, but it was still good. A lot of nice one liners in it, but frankly, it felt more filler than actual story after the last clash of the giant balls of steel, and all the clink-y, wholesome, family nutrition.

    Hope to see the next chapter here soon. But not too soon. I got mah computer fixed today! ^_^

    *Wanders off to start the next Winter's Night chapter.*
     
  7. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Well sweetie-cakes, in stories like these, given the chapter length, there are going to be fillers so that the story can progress beyond "Harry duck!" "Fuck!" "Sectumsempra!" "Warm Oil" "MOVE!" "Bukakke!"

    >_> damn I just got an idea for a nasty new magic.

    Introducing:
    The Bukakke Hex:

    Incantation: BUKAKKE! (must be yelled, no sub-vocals, no silent castin')

    Wand Movement: Hold wand in hand and use opposing hand to stroke the shaft of the wand with rapid movement.

    Range: 3 feet (depending on the wizard... witches cannot perform this hex)

    Effects: Shoots several jets of milky man juice at the opponents face. Bonus points if he hits opponents in the eye.

    Counter: The Prostate Crushing Jinx.



    Anyway ... Yes, it was filler, but it also holds important clues as to the outcome of the story so I don't get a bunch of people coming (no pun intended) at me in the end screaming "PLOTHOLE PLOTHOLE!" This way I can point my finger and say "READ THE STORY BITCH!"

    There will be much Clink-y action in the next chapter and you get to see Padma in a new outfit too! Well, not actually SEE but I'll describe it well enough for the fapfapfap crowd out there. I'm just trying to figure out if I want to have her running around in heels or not.

    And I am very happy you got your computer fixed! More Winter's Night goodness in the works.

    I've read the rest of the Dresden Books (3.5 in as many days) so I'm loaded with sarcasm juice and ready to rock. I think I'm going for a HP/Dresden cross for my next fic. Thinking.


    Ninja Edit: Damn you for your "Press Button"! I was sucked (no pun intended) into it's pressing baddness. DANGER!!
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  8. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Of course you will (but she'll never stumble). And somewhere along the line, the nasty monster will tear her top/blouse/whatever, and naturally, whatever's left will later somehow get soaked, and finally, she'll have to discard it completely. You know how it is.

    But srsly. Can't wait. For the new outfit.

    (And I'm not fapping. Really, I'm not. ...you haven't done that outtake yet)

    And srsly #2. If the rest of the story wasn't as great as it is, I wouldn't be reading it even if you had Padma running around in high-heels only.


    ... well, so maybe I would. But I wouldn't enjoy it as much :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  9. MonCappy

    MonCappy Fifth Year

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    Padma in high heels and a smile would make for a fine outfit.

    I am also eagerly looking forward to the next chapter. I wonder how well their countermeasures against the byakke will fare. My guess is that their efforts will not be as successful as they would like.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  10. Darkmakr

    Darkmakr Seventh Year

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    It's always nice to see stories that take the characters that Rowling created, play around with them a bit and create a separate story within a universe. Plus win for creating Harry's loyalty to Ron and Hermione without having them in the story at all. Amused at the stories that Ginny may of said or whatever, nice way of ignoring epilogue of DH without ignoring the rest of the book.

    I'm enjoying the tale, and hope to continue reading.
     
  11. The Deadman

    The Deadman Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

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    Aside from a few spelling mistakes, this has got to be one of the best stories I've ever read. 5/5 all of the way.
     
  12. Epic Dark Lord

    Epic Dark Lord Squib

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    Updated ... like a week and a half ago...

    Fucking Cliffhangers
    Really good chapter and ouch on bruised balls but probably the best way to get them.
     
  13. Innomine

    Innomine Death Eater Prestige DLP Supporter

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    As I put in my PC review, it has taken me a long time to finally go ahead and read this, I was under the impression that it was some sort of twisted dark fic, which it apparently seems not to be.

    I honestly don't know why it is actually in the Dark Arts section.

    Either way, excellent fic, definitely going for a 5/5 for this one, and im now off to read the ULFD.
     
  14. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I couldn't get through first chapter. "Accept unknown, understand later" made me stop. It might be well in Harry's character to charge into unknown, like gryffindors would do, but I hate idiot!harry stories on the principal.
    Won't rate, it might get better later, but on the other hand, thanks to crappy first chapter, I'll never know.
     
  15. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity High Score: 3,994 Prestige DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    Pity you're so quick with the trigger. Heather's is an outstanding story, probably the best HP/Lovecraft crossover out there (and one of the best post-Hogwarts stories I've read). 5/5
     
  16. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Dude: keep reading. You're seriously depriving yourself.
     
  17. TheDefiantOne

    TheDefiantOne First Year

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    I am really enjoying this story. Its funny, but also very good on detail. I also really enjoy sarcastic Harry. Not so big on the references to some of the tales and other sorts of magic, but pretty interesting stuff.

    Overall, probably a 4.5/5. Wait to see at end till final call
     
  18. Innomine

    Innomine Death Eater Prestige DLP Supporter

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    UPDATE!

    BE RIGHT BACK!

    Will edit comments in later. I've been waiting for this for ages, haven't seen Heather around in a while, and was thinking the worst.
     
  19. AntiChrist

    AntiChrist Professor

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    Awesome. I've been waiting for an update for this for what seems like the longest time. I had to go back and read some of the earlier chapters to refresh my memory, but that's not a bad thing.

    Hmmm. The ending of the story was pretty abrupt, all in all. I liked the fight scene well enough though it didn't scream Epicness. Also, I felt some of your sentences, particulary in the beginning were pretty choppy. No major complaints though. Very nice job. 4/5 overall
     
  20. Ancalion

    Ancalion First Year

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    The ending felt really rushed, even though it's setting up for a possible sequel. It hardly felt like a chapter ending to me, let alone a story ending, for the first one. The alternate ending fixed that up though. Also, I thought the fight was a bit lackluster...It seems as if a fight against something played up that much would much more difficult than how it was written.

    Still, a good chapter and a pretty solid story. 4/5