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WIP Ghost in the Shell: Ascendance - M - Ghost in the Shell/Mass Effect

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Download, Apr 12, 2018.

3.25/5, 4 votes
  1. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    1918
    Apr 12, 2018 #1
    Title: Ghost in the Shell: Ascendance
    Author: Servoris and NickBana
    Rating: M
    Genre: Scifi/Crime Thriller
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: Anime/Games
    Pairings: N/A
    Summary:
    Link: SB SV FFN

    I've been thinking of putting this up for a while but I'm a bit worried this will be a bit too hard scifi for DLP's tastes.

    The story is really hard on the scifi, the transhumanist themes, and the associated technology porn. This may be a good or a bad thing depending on your opinion.

    Good:
    • Hard, well thought out and consistent scifi.
    • The story so far has nothing to do with Shepherd. It's entirely based on Public Security Section 9 team and Spectre Bau.
    • Well laid out battles.
    • Good character building.
    • Great mystery, intriguing.
    • No mentally retarded Council bullshit.
    Bad:
    • I was nodding off a bit by the end of the end of the Berkstein battle. It was a bit too drawn out for my tastes.
    4.5/5 for now.
     
  2. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Apr 12, 2018 #2
    I started this a while ago but didn’t keep up with it. The story is interesting, and I’m always up for some sci-fi, but the piece needs some work before it’s as anything above a 3.5.

    The author needs to work on some of their fundamentals. Proper punctuation and dialogue tagging, avoiding run-ons, etc. They also tend to use the sort of annoying thing that passes for prose on SB and SV, which I suppose is just list after list of descriptions.

    So, I’ll give it a 3.5 trending up.
     
  3. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,036
    Apr 19, 2018 #3
    >I was nodding off a bit by the end of the end of the Berkstein battle. It was a bit too drawn out for my tastes.

    >The author needs to work on some of their fundamentals. Proper punctuation and dialogue tagging, avoiding run-ons, etc. They also tend to use the sort of annoying thing that passes for prose on SB and SV, which I suppose is just list after list of descriptions.

    This and this. I cannot agree more. I love Sci-fi and even I couldn't slog through this more than a couple chapters.

    The Ghost in the Shell and Mass Effect worlds is what drew me in, but both worlds and aspects of those worlds are under utilized. I wish this could be better because I fucking love HFY type Mass Effect stories, and meshing that with the cybernetics of Ghost in the Shell/AI of Ghost in the Shell, I was expecting to just devour this. I didn't.

    I'm giving this a 3/5 because sci-fi is near to my heart. No matter how poorly executed.
     
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