Gizoogle, for the World's Phattest Fanfiction

Halt · Oct 10, 2015

Couldn't resist translating the Magnate's summary:

Voldemortz mastery of dark juice was unrivaled since back up in tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Grindelwaldz legendary charisma came a hairsbreadth from brangin Europe ta its knees. "Straight-up good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Next son! And what tha fuck will you be rappin fo' our asses todizzle, Mista Muthafuckin Potter?" AU, Durmstrang!Harry
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Mastery of dark juice - can you handle it?

Oment · Oct 10, 2015

So there's the Pokémon theme song:

Pokemon, (gotta catch dem all) a ass so true
Our courage will pull our asses through
Yo ass teach me n' I be bout ta teach yo thugged-out ass
(Po-ke-mon) Gotta catch 'em all
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Aragorn's speech at the Black Gate:

A dizzle may come when tha courage of pimps fails,
when we forsake our playas
and break all bondz of fellowship,
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Shadow of Angmar summary:

Da Masta of Dirtnap be a gangbangin' fucked up title; nuff would claim ta hold a posizzle pimped outa than Dirtnap yo. Harry is pulled ta Middle-earth by tha Witch Mackdaddy of Angmar up in a attempt ta brang Morgoth back ta Arda fo' realz. A year lata Angmar falls n' Harry is freed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What will da ruffneck do wit tha eternitizzle granted ta him, biatch? Rap begins 1000 muthafuckin years before LotR. Eventual major canon divergence.
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For a bit of a juxtaposition, have Keating's poetry speech from DPS:

Us dudes don't read n' write poetry cuz itz cute. We read n' write poetry cuz we is thugz of tha human race fo' realz. And tha human race is filled wit passion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And medicine, law, bidnizz, engineering, these is noble pursuits n' necessary ta sustain game. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these is what tha fuck we stay kickin it for. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. To quote from Whitman, "O me biaaatch! O game!... of tha thangz of these recurring; of tha endless trainz of tha faithless... of ghettos filled wit tha foolish; what tha fuck phat amid these, O me, O game?" Answer n' shit. That yo ass is here - dat game exists, n' identity; dat tha bangin play goes on n' you may contribute a verse. That tha bangin play *goes on* n' you may contribute a verse. What will yo' verse be, biatch?
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And for a bit of amusement, guess the source on these:

I kicked it wit a travella from a antique land
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd: Two vast n' trunkless hairy-ass legz of stone
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Mama, just capped a thugged-out dude
Put a glock against his head
Pulled mah trigger, now da ruffneck dead as fuckin fried chicken
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From dis dizzle ta tha endin of tha ghetto,
But we up in it shall be remember'd;
We few, our crazy asses aiiight few, we crew of brothers;
For tha pimpin' muthafucka to-dizzle dat shedz his blood wit mah dirty ass
Shall be mah brother; be he ne'er so vile
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We no strangers ta love
Yo ass know tha rulez n' so do I
A full commitmentz what tha fuck I be thankin of
Yo ass wouldn't git dis from any other muthafucka
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Oh, say can you peep by tha dawn’s early light
What so proudly our crazy asses hailed all up in tha twilight’s last gleaming?
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Ozymandias, Bohemian Rhapsody, St Crispin's Day speech from Henry V (4.3), Never Gonna Give You Up, Star-Spangled Banner

Elemental · Oct 10, 2015

This just made my day folks.

Deathly Hallows' summary:
' A clash between phat n' evil awaits as lil' Harry , Ron n' Hermione prepare fo' a gangbangin' final battle against Lord Voldemort yo. Harry has grown tha fuck into a steely lad on a mission ta rid tha ghetto of evil. Da playaz must search fo' tha Horcruxes dat keep tha dastardly wizzle immortal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack yo. Harry n' Voldemort hook up at Hogwarts Castle fo' a epic showdown where tha forcez of darknizz may finally hook up they match..

DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

Gizoogle, for the World's Phattest Fanfiction

Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

Elemental Squib

World's best chase scene

DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

Gizoogle, for the World's Phattest Fanfiction

Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

Elemental Squib

World's best chase scene

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