Her lack of empathy comes through. It's that you have her have this lack of empathy but still value sociability rather than shun everyone.

She reads like one of those perfect, hyper intelligent, looks down on everyone else, manipulative Harrys you get in seven year AUs.

 

Yeah. The friend goal with that does push the meter from 'awkward brat' to 'possible Dumblemort clone' a bit too well, now that I look back.

I can try to reconcile it later with a lack of understanding what precisely to do about/with her newfound goal, reinforcing her (Needed) lack in that area, or backtrack a bit and edit this some. Hesitant there, as mostly I don't want her having more lines, or focus.

Also I worry on how much of her personality is fanon. I can see her taking this route, then completely fouling it up later because she lacks perspective and a deeper understanding of what to do. Imagine her with a "Dummies guide to friends" hidden under a textbook. Which, not that I remember Yr.1 well anymore, seems to be what happened. Well, once she got that 'in' with Harry and Ron thanks to a troll.

EDITNESS: I'll see what other Hermione feedback I get, and adjust development accordingly. It's not hard to work in what I need, and in truth just about anyone will do, but I figured she'd be easy to draw on... and well I have a nice roster of OC's already.

Then again, trying to apply logic to existing characters to deepen them gets people irritable, myself included. Will continue work on this tomorrow.

 

I actually just got around to reading this one the other day. I was impressed and surprised by the creative and well put together plot. AInteresting, good flow and doesn't bore the hell out of me like most AU's do these days. I'll give you the increasingly rare 5/5 for it so far.

 

I have to admit I didn't know what to think going into this one, but I must say I was greatly impressed with it. Pacing was good, characterization was well executed and the plot was something different and interesting, especially in light of all the detritus that clutters FF.net. I'll give it a 5/5 as I was supremely entertained.

Looking forward to the next bit.