I wonder if Harry had his moms face and his dads eyes if Snape would have been a little bit nicer to him. The way he looks now Snape cant help but see James potter the bully and quidditch star. Your opinions

 

I think that you should lurk a bit more before starting threads like this.

 

Shockingly, you've inadvertently raised an interesting point. The concept of Snape hating Harry because of his resemblance to his father I think is actually merely a facade, I feel it far more likely for Snape to be projecting his own self loathing for his betrayal of Lily on to Harry. For this reason I can't help but feel that if Harry had Lily's face, Snape would have made it a thousand times worse for him. Unfortunately for Harry, he was never going to be anything other than the complete personification of all of Snape's failures.

Now go back and read the first letter of each sentence.

 

Well, that pretty much torpedos all of those horrid Severitus fic's.

 

I just have this idea - what if Harry had Lily's eyes. Literally. Voldemort's attack not only left him with scar, but destroyed his eyes. Fortunately, Albus knew how to perform a spell that could switch Harry's eyes with somebody's else and because he had fresh Lily's corpse nearby he used hers.

 

And then Harry goes around and proclaims that he can see dead people And they talk to him.

 

And then he meets Bruce Willis and it becomes a twist, he can't see dead people, He is dead.

 

And he's actually Jesus. In Purgatory. And redeeming Voldemort is his final task to reach The Kingdom of Heaven.

 

Starring Orlando Bloom. Because it's also movie night.

 

As long as it's not directed by Shyamalan.

 

Then the muggles get pissed and launch a nuclear bomb at Hogwarts. Surprisingly, the giant squid lives but has become a monster intent on killing everyone. Harry is forced to fight and kill the dreaded beast. The moster dies at the end of the sword of Gryffindor but Harry was bitten by the radioactive giant squid.

Harry is now Squid-man. Is it a fish? Is it a submarrine? No! IT'S SQUID MAN!!

 

4

Don't forget evil giant-octopus bitten Draco. But they both change back to human when they are together (and in bed) as you so tactfully put it.

 

But they somehow manage to have cute mpreg radioactive squid babies.

 

And then we find out it was really just a dream, and Harry was that emo guy you remember from school who sat at the back of class reading Blake, Poe, and Hemmingway, mumbling under his breath about how no one really understood.

Just to be extra dickish, the whole thing was a metaphor for the ills of the modern world, and the director thought he was being clever by closing out with a recording of Bill Hicks, when in reality that was the only decent part of the film.

Sure, the squid bit was awesome, and everyone loves nukes, but a person can only take so much preaching thinly veiled as enlightened entertainment before they've had enough. Even from Squid-Man.

 

/me rages

​

If Americans have to know who Ocho Cinco is, the rest of you lot do as well. You're welcome.

 

This thread am become win.

 

What the hell is wrong with that guy's teeth?

And is he a football player or something? I've never even heard of him before. >_>

 

Yeah. He's a diva whose best football was played a few years ago. He makes me reluctant to be a Bengals fan- but he's far from the only jackass on their roster.