Fleur's use of 'Arry in a normally spelt sentence was already an indicator of what it was going to be.

I stopped a couple of days ago at the bit where he was firing at Peeves with non-verbal spells with Hermione going anal over it after. I still haven't read it since then. You have a much higher tolerance than me xD

 

I'm looking for some advice for a story I'm writing slowly. It will be a Harry/Fleur pairing (obviously seeing as I'm posting in this thread) but I want to do it right. I've posted 2 chapters so far and they've had nothing to do with Fleur yet.

Basically, the story is mostly canon right up to the scene on the astronomy tower where Snape kills Dumbledore (where the first chapter starts). It differs in that, in an emotional blast of accidental magic Harry frees himself from Dumbledore's body bind and dives in front of Snape's killing curse. This removes the horcrux in his head but the force of the spell sends the two over the edge of the tower. Panicking during the fall, Harry tries to apparate them to safety only for it to go wrong sending them to an alternate universe. The characters are never going to know what caused it exactly but it will be speculated that it was a combination of Harry's magic being unstable + being still under the Hogwarts wards connected to the ley lines that did it.

This universe is different in that Harry was killed with his parents in Godrics hollow, Neville to follow shortly after, leaving Voldemort at large. Crouch Sr. becomes Minister and turns magical Britain into a totalitarian military state to fight the Death Eaters. Dumbledore continues to fight despite losing hope as both possible "chosen ones" are dead. Eventually, disillusioned with his failure, he sets Grindelwald free on the condition he helps him kill Voldemort. Grindelwald stabs Dumbledore in the back, killing him and taking the elder wand before gathering some of his old followers (and new) and going up against Voldemort. (Basically this world has 2 Dark Lords vying for control and a crazy dictator!Crouch Minister for Magic).

If anyone wants to actually read the 2 chapters so far they are here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12136370/1/A-Different-War

I might try to get a beta and edit the first two chapters again but I think they're passable grammer / spelling wise for now.

Now Harry gets captured by the Ministry and then "rescued" / recaptured by Grindelwald, who hearing that a version of Dumbledore is alive in this reality wants to draw him out with Harry as bait. The prison he is kept in is a fully furnished apartment that is warded like crazy but shares another occupant, Fleur Delacour, daughter of the french Minister for Magic (or some other important ministry personnel - this is the only overdone trope I hope to use) who is being held as insurance that France won't get involved in the conflict.

Basically I want Harry (who knows Fleur from his dimension but not this Fleur) and Fleur's relationship to start to grow here. Maybe starting to work together to escape and genuinely coming to care for each other.

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas / advice they wouldn't mind giving me. I want the relationship to be realistic and not rushed. How should I draw it out? How should they react to each other at first? Thats what I want opinions on.

I'm not sure how they will escape yet but I was inspired by a scene from the Ectomancer by RustyRed where Harry had to make his own "blood wand" to escape his imprisonment. I was thinking him and Fleur could find a way to make a crude focus using one of her hairs as a core. The reason for her not having done this in years previous being that Veelas can't use their own hairs as cores for their wands... only others (like her Grandmothers).

Sorry for the long post. Any advice and ideas would be appreciated. I hope to actually make a Harry/Fleur fic that people can be proud of, and not riddled with tonnes of cliches like soul bonds.

 

This is kind of a tough ask; it's both an open-ended question but also kind of a very specific one, since you have a ton of very specific setup and it sounds like you have a handle already on the personalities of the characters.

If I were you, I'd post your fic, a bit at a time, in WbA, and let people get a chance to get a handle on all the specifics and context of your story, up to where you are now, and then you'll have (hopefully) a core of 6-10 people who've been with you the whole way and can talk from an informed perspective about the question you have here.

 

EmeraldGuardian I just posted a review of your fic on FF.net. It really is a great and fresh idea I'd say. I really hope you post it here in WbA as Newcomb suggested.

 

Yes, I just saw that! I sent a you a pm on FF.net. Thanks for the review, and yes I am thinking of posting it in WbA in the near future. Thanks.

 

Sorry for the necro guys. But, not sure if this has been recommended for a Harry/Fleur story yet. I don't really have time to look through the comments to clarify.

"A Cadmean Victory by Darkness enthroned."

"The escape of Peter Pettigrew leaves a deeper mark on his character than anyone expected, then comes the Goblet of Fire and the chance of a quiet year to improve himself, but Harry Potter and the Quiet Revision Year was never going to last long. A more mature, darker Harry, bearing the effects of 11 years of virtual solitude. GoF AU. There will be romance... eventually."

Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 103 - Words: 520,351 - Reviews: 10235 - Favs: 8,660 - Follows: 7,867 - Updated: Feb 17, 2016 - Published: Aug 14, 2015 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete



https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11446957/1/A-Cadmean-Victory

 

Copy pasting the ff.net blurb as your only content is a chronic waste of our time. You didn't even tell us why we should read it.

As for it being too much effort to read the thread for Cadmean Victory recs, all you had to do was use the search function. A few seconds of effort and you would have found 487 posts about it in its Library thread:

https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=29881&highlight=11446957

 

Sorry. I'm blind and use a screen reader. As I've only really been fully posting on DLP for a few days I'm not fully aware of the layout of the threads and all the functions yet.

 

I'm an ass.

 

His given name is Yak, but his nickname is donkey.

 

Don't worry about it man. Not like you knew. As for a lack of explanation regarding reasons for reading it, totally my bad.

 

I am starting to a write a Fleur/Harry story, and was wondering if this was a decent plot:

Harry realises after the attack on the Quidditch World Cup by Death Eaters and the dream of Voldemort that the Dark Lord still poses a huge threat and could come back and will probably try and come back that year from his wraith form. This causes him to pick other options such as ancient runes instead of divination and speaking to hermione about catching up after missing out on third year.

Arriving at Hogwarts he trains with Hermione as ron would rather not be bothered about additional work and gets slightly annoyed by Harry spending more time reading and training.

Other schools arrive and Harry gets entered into the tournement, Ron gets angry with him and storms off, and the rest of the school turns their back on him. Hermione gets more distant leaving Harry to find a way past the Dragons, he tells Cedric about the dragons. Cedric and Harry agree that he needs to train more despite being the best in defence for Harry's year. Fleur finds out training and Victor also helps as the champions realise that the tournement is more deadly than they were thinking.

Fleur and Harry become closer through training and he asks her out to the Yule ball.

Second task, he helps get Fleur fight off grindylows and reapplys bubble charm to her, and they eventually make it out.

Third task, he realises that it is most likely a trap, Harry having more commen sense due to training and with the imperio cast on Victor knows it is a trap. taking the cups alone goes to graveyard and is able to fight Voldemort better.

When he gets back, he realises tha without any proof now one would believe him so makes it up that it was a death eaters gathering and he managed to escape. Dumbledore makes it up that Voldemort must have resurrected with harry claiming that someone thier had claimed to be Voldemort, but he had no idea whether it as true or not. Due to this he is played in the media as a victim to a death eather attack and only Dumbledore gets vilified.

At the end of the year Fleur invites Harry and Cedric/Victor over and they spend time in the summer together with Dumbledore shocked that harry would leave the Durley's like that. spending time with Fleur causes Harry to no longer call Private drive his home and the protections fail causing it to get attacked.

I will write more later about the plot>>>

 

That's a very poorly made April's fools day joke.

 

You misspelled April Fools', you April Fool.

 

Trolling is a art.

 

That was absolutely horrific and entirely contrary to canon. Did you even read the books? You completely glossed over how indebted she is to him after the 2nd Task. Where was Fleur and Harry's connection over how they both hate attention?! I mean seriously, there wasn't even a single mention of how she Marks him as her mate and One True Love! Worst of all, you completely destroyed what makes Veela so amazing: their hermaphroditic phallic clitoris. How is Harry supposed to carry their child if Fleur can't knock him up?!?!?

You're ruining everything that so obviously makes this the one true pairing!

 

I am starting to a write a Fleur/Harry story, and was wondering if this was a decent plot:

So, during the First Task, there's a magical mishap of some kind (this can be two potions mixing that weren't supposed to mix, that means you can do anything), and when Harry gets the egg from the dragon, it's actually Fleur's egg, because veela are birds and birds lay eggs.

Then by saving the egg Harry has created a magical connection between him and the egg and Fleur and he's basically her husband now. Now Harry's like "whaaaaaaaaaaat" because he's so young, and this would be the story, because he's only a teenager and it would be super cute for him to raise a baby.

And all of his friends woudl join in, because that would also be extremely cute. Like Hermione would read about how veela are like birds and she'd research it using her intelligence and realize that they had to sneak into the kichens and get food for the baby and then Hermione would chew it and throw it up in the baby's mouth just like birds do. which would be super cute!!

Anothing thing that would happen would be that Snap would be the main bad guy, beacuse he's more of a jerk type chrarcter and every story needs a good villian. Now the HP boks say he's kind ofa bat, so the surprising twist would be that he's actually an evil veela, called a "beela," short for bat-veela. But Harry and Fleur and all their friends would make fun of him and call him a "butthole-veela" and he'd be like "OMG" and be defeated using the power of laughter.

Eventually Harry and Fleur would get mrried before the egg hatched because it wouldnt be okay to have a child out of wedlock, even a bird child, because that's just the same as a normal child and everyone is equal becuase of Brown v. Board of Education.

But they probably woudn't have sex, because Harry would be like, "no Fleur if we have sex then it's just because I'm attracted to you like all those other guys, and I'm different because I'm not actually attracted to you at all."

See Harry is realy a truely gentleman kind of guy, and Fleur would see that and that's why she'd love him. She's like, "okay you proved yourself to be truely a gentleman by not wanting to have sex with me, that means we can have sex now." and Harrys' like "cool that's awesome wait does that involve vaginas? I'm super scared of those."

And then there's a funny scene that's really super cute where they try to have sex and fail because Harry has a panic attack about respecting women, and Fleur's like, "lol Harry just put it in me" and he's like "no I can't, I don't want to rape you." And then Fleur gets hella excited and tries to kiss him, but since Harry's the man in the relationship it's his job to keep poor overexcited Fluer in line, so h'es like "no we have to wait until I don't want to have sex with you ever to have sex."

OH and ther'es also a side plot involving Ron and Daphone. It would be kind of a comedic epic romance, just like Twilight. I'd be sure to put in an author's note that Daphone looked like Kristen Stewart because then people would get the comparison (I'd also tell them taht it was like Twilight in my author's notes; don't worry they'll be hella long).

So Daphone's like "hello I'm a girl from a Slytherin house" and Ron's like "ew go away you're awful Slytherins are the worst" and Daphone's like "oh wow you were mean to me, no one's ever mean to me, I'm super attracted to you" and Ron's like "sounds like textbook daddy issues, you fat cow," and Daphone grabs him and she's like "holy shit put a baby in me."

That would basicaly be the story, like Harry and his friends raising their baby and making fun of Snap and Harry learning to respect women by not having sex with them.

What do you guys think? I already have a bunch of author's notes already written but I haven't really written the story yet, think I should go for it?

 

I feel like Daphone or Fleur should have a betrothal contract with Malfoy or something, who is a jerk and a beela as well.

 

Don't forget the thinly disguised, Mary/Gary Stue author SI who's collecting a harem in the background while becoming Harry's best friend out of nowhere.

 

The only kind of good smut is HarryxBird!Fleur.