That is truly awful romance. At some point I'm going to start a thread where I write a dissertation on why most fanfic smut blows (pun intended), but some of that stuff is awe-inspiringly bad.

Sometimes it makes me wish that somebody could remind people how to write good smut nowadays.

 

This one pretty awesome. I laughed at some parts.

Too short to rate tough. For now at least.

 

Well written, adult topic yet lighthearted, great tone and character voice, an absence of fanboyism, good comedic parts with Percy.

Library worthy if it continues along the same lines.

 

I couldn't help it - I lolled.

Honestly, I feel like I wrote this fic, its got my style written all over it. Babes loving on Harry and fighting over him? Check. Good Harry slowly becoming bad without trying to? Check. I approve.

I could see this story going somewhere, though I'm a little peeved it has more reviews now than We'll All Fall... which is more than twice the size and humor. Meh.

 

Maybe some healthy competition is what you need to start writing again, eh?

 

C'mon, son... I never stopped writing. I just had to do the Anthology first. And write some songs. And a Dobby!centric one-shot. And something about crabs invading from another universe.

And...

twins.

 

There had better be chocolate sauce, two pairs of identical tits, and a very happy Harry involved, Averis.

EDIT: you know, I don't think I've ever seen a fic' with Fleur being a twin?

"Wait," Harry said slowly, his eyes slowly shifting back and forth between the two identical blondes, "you're saying that you've both been playing me at the same time?"

"Oui," Fleur's sister said quietly, her eyes not meeting his own.

"You must understand, Harry," Fleur -the real Fleur - said softly, "that we didn't mean to hurt you - we both have fallen for you."

For a few moments, Harry was silent. He was biting his lip, and his brow was furrowed; Fleur was worried that he was going to lose his tempter.

To their suprise, however, he finally smiled.

"So," he said, suddenly sounding oddly shy, "who did I lose my virginity to?"

Fleur's head whipped around so fast her neck cracked; she looked so...betrayed. "I thought," she began angrily, "that we were going do it with him together!"

Harry's eyes widened.

 

I found this thread while I was searching for some good Harry and Fleur fics to read and decided to join lol. To contribute, I found that His Angel by durararaaa is actually pretty good. It's worth checking out. The later chapters bring about so many improvements. Another one that's quite good is Blinded by MWO. It's pretty unique. Both these stories were updated recently so they look like they'll keep going.

 

I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs of Blinded. To be honest, the title alone told me everything I needed to know, but I gave it a try anyway.

Is this expounded upon? Otherwise, it's one tremendously titanic telling, a vast violation of the "show, don't tell" rule at the heart of all good fiction. What it sounds like, instead, is the author hates Ron and needs an excuse to bash him, but can't be bothered to actually depict a deteriorating relationship between Ron and Harry--a Ron the life of whose sister Harry heroically saved.

Why are they idiots? Ignorant, maybe, but I can hardly fault the general masses for not being on the up and up when it comes to all the various shades of gray between perfect 20/20 vision and complete and utter lack of sight. Neither should Harry.

Oh dear . . . here comes the comes the sociology lecture. Let me grab a pillow and wake me up when the author deigns to get back to writing a story again.

I have a feeling that in reality they're just taking into account that this little kid has said he's blind, so they're trying to make his life not-as-hard-as-it-could-be-if-they-continued-expecting-him-to-live-as-if-he-had-no-vision-impairment-whatsoever. But it's probably just the persecution-complex that this Harry was given by the author.

And that's where I stopped reading--for more than one reason, too. (1) Where was this Mr. Chi in canon? AUs are fine and all, but this isn't really one, is it? It's just Harry going blind in the CoS. Whilst the butterfly-effect can create some rather wildly radical results far down the road, it stretches incredulity to think that being blinded in the CoS would cause Harry and Ron to have a falling out, and that Wise!Honolabre!Asian!Old-Man!Stereotype would feel compelled to move to Little Winging. (2) Old Japanese man. I live in Japan, I love Japan, and I'm a big anime fan, but I side with Jormungandr when it comes to HP Fanfic: keep that Jap-Crap out of it. Not because I feel them inherently incompatible, but because it's almost never done well, much less done not-badly. See Darksyaoran's Fictional for an exception. (3) Chi, though it is technically a legitimate surname in Japan, strikes me more as a Chinese name than a Japanese one. The author should have gone with a much more common name. In order of frequency, slightly more than 30% of all Japanese people have one of the following names: Satou, Suzuki, Takahashi, Tanaka, Watanabe, Itou, Yamamoto, Nakamura, Ohayashi, Kobayashi, Katou, Kichida, Yoshida, Yamada, Sasaki, Yamaguchi, Matsumoto, Ine, Inoue, Saitou, Kimura, Hayashi, Rin, Kiyomizu, Shimizu, Yamasaki, Ikeda, Abe, Mori, Hashimoto, Yamashita, Ishikawa, Nakashima, Maeda, Fujita, Ogawa, or Kokawa. This list was the result of a 5 second google search.

 

Yes, because that's exactly what anyone in that situation would do or say Wow. Makes other horrible Gary Stu fics look almost good in comparison.
But hey, isn't he supposed to be blind? Maybe that's why.

 

I lost it at 'contrastive spell'. Seriously bad - so happy I never read that now.

 

"God I'm so hot for you...let me kiss your scar."
And that is exactly how it would go down.

 

I can actually picture Fleur deadpanning and then punching him in the nose.

Here's another thing to think about: Harry being blind takes all the point out of Harry fucking Fleur.

It's one thing to have them not be able to see on another to develop their relationship (A la my penpal idea), but once they get together, Harry should be able to enjoy the view, so to speak.

Oh wait, he's not really blind in that story, is he. He can see shapes and shades of grey. My bad.

 

Fifty of them, in fact. It's all kinds of sexy.

 

Someone's never seen The Scent Of A Woman.

 

I probably shouldn't be doing this but... I don't get it? :|

 

Good advice, run before someone explains it to you.

I said - RUN!

 

I feel like a bad person for linking this.

So I'll try and make up for it with this.