Thanks, I don't like writing my stories half cocked and "just because."

 

I'd agree...if I knew who Flairgold was. Care to enlighten me?

 

Blessed member is blessed.

 

New Member just doesn't want to admit that he got his ideas from somewhere else.

 

Nice piece of bait you have here...but what does it have to do with Flairgold?
I've already said I've studied mythology for the story...what are you trying to insinuate?

 

The title annoys the grammar-nazi in me. It should either be ". . . and Death Incarnate" or ". . . and Death's Incarnation", but not ". . . and Death's Incarnate".

Incarnate is either an adjective (to be imbodied in flesh), or a verb (to embody something in flesh).

Incarnation is the noun form: something embodied in flesh.

It reminds me of some cock-face who had the title "I Giveth" for some fanfic. Fucking hell, how hard is it to do a fucking google search on Early Modern English grammar?

I give
Thou givest
He/she/it giveth

Damnit!

 

Incarnate is what this particular brand of immortals are called. Thana is not death personified but rather Death uses her as a host of sorts. She's a mortal shell and you could say Death 'owns' her.
Therefore...the apostrophe and 's.'
That is what I was thinking when I made the title anyhow.

Btw:
If anyone cares, story finished.

 

This story slightly reminds me of a series I read back in middle school. Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony. Not a bad series for the time frame, but I haven't read them in a long time, so I don't really remember if they're worthy of my adult attention.

I really liked the start, but somewhere along the way it just kind of tapered off for me. I'll try to pick it back up later, but for now I won't rate it.

 

On A Pale Horse had a way cooler Death than this... Thana. And the latter books... let's not even go there. Th only other interesting incarnation was the Devil. and even he was mostly ridiculous. Piers Anthony should stop writing sequels, since it's clear his sequels always fucking blow. I mean, see Xanth. -_-

</random>

 

Not all of us here hate Hermione, I rather like the direction you have taken with her. I honestly expected Harry to have some measure of control over her after he worked his magic.

I just read the entire story today and looking back I can see a good deal of the problems the others saw, but I enjoyed the disjointed writing. I also enjoyed the lack of knowledge the reader had into the future plot of the story.

Depending on the length of the series, your lack of characterization with the Incarnates can be salvaged in future installments.

4/5

 

The whole story confuses the hell out of me... I manage to get some stuff, but then suddenly a whole different thing pops up and manages to put me into another fit of confusion. 2/5

 

To Darje: The most problems I've seen from the reviews here is that it confuses people, little characterization so far and short chapters...and numerous speculations on where I got the idea from. What problems are you talking about exactly so I could fix them?

And to Anya, the quoted person: Sorry you don't like being surprised or confused.

 

You seem to be a smarmy, sarcastic little shit. Don't you?

 

He is what all great warriors strive for.

Well I sort of do, anyways.

Well I read the ending and liked it sort-of-alot, so I might skim the story and read the sequel.
​

 

I do try. /sarcasm off

On a more serious note, did I do something to you? Kick your puppy, eat your cat, egg your house or something? Or are you just naturally antagonistic?
This is DLP so I'll take your comments with a truck load of salt but now I'm starting to wonder. I haven't insulted you (if I have please point it out so I can apologize) so what is your problem?

 

Shujin, have you ever met someone and instantly decided you hate their guts? That's DLP's general mood on people. When a noob sarcastically responds to every post in his own story thread (without producing lulz), this feeling is intensified, and we go 'let's shoot this uppity bitch down'. Hope that helped.

Also have you ever read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan? I think you'd find it inspirational.

 

Erm, nope, can't say I have...and I have not responded to every post. That did help though, thank you.

I tried reading it once but I got about five pages in when I put it down. I don't know if I was intimidated by the over all length of the book, didn't like the style or what but I gave up quickly. I did the same with Tolkien and Anthony...but not with Orson Scott Card, if you've read any of the Ender series. I could try again, its been a few years.

 

Sorry you can't write a decent story without getting everybody confused with it.