I agree with both Sesc and CleanRag. The digs at the fanfon cliches were quite unnecessary and distracts from the flow of the story. As sesc said it feels more like the author talking instead of the character.

 

I don't know whether I should jump around of happiness due this freaking update. Or cry knowing that you won't update for a month after this cliffhanger.

Nice update!

 

I'm with the three of you as far as the potion dig being unnecessary, but the Cruciatus scene felt fine to me I just took it as an instructor explaining to his students that this tool only has one use.

 

There is also this:

If the goal was to make Harry look like a wussy doormat or to create a break from Krum down the line, it was pretty good - although I believe it should be added that Harry was too out of it to notice how much of a moron he was at that moment.

But Kira was so far beyond the pale it's not even funny anymore. While both Calypso and Kira have been out of line from the very start (Kira more, seeing as how she started on Harry because he was only a half-blood the first time he met her), they agreed to work together because fucked up transformations are dangerous. Sitting there laughing while the other one isn't just in horrible pain, but bleeding out of her mouth and incapable of calling for help (did Kira even know if Calypso was still capable of breathing?) is straight out character assassination.

Though I guess if that was your goal it was also well done. And I think the snake form fits Calypso, as well.

 

What we really need is a Harry + Krum post World Cup mini Euro-trip with a bros before hos maxim applied.

 

Seems I'm just going to be parroting other people at this point, but I'll agree with most of the comments so far.

The Cruciatus explanation lacked any subtlety at all, and should be removed. I get that a lot of people following this story enjoy the fact that you're turning a bunch of bad cliches on their heads, but to me this was just too much.

Second, Kira is a fucking sociopath. Harry has brought this group of four together through a mutual goal of becoming animagi. They all know the dangers of this undertaking. Presumably, Kira and Calypso are studying together so that if one of them fucks up in a big way, they have an out. Yet here you have Calypso screwing up and Kira laughing at her while she's in indescribable pain and unable to help herself? What was the end game here if Harry hadn't come to the rescue? Why is Harry not at all incensed by the fact that Kira was taking pleasure in Calypso's agony? Why is he not furious that she didn't help her animagus "partner" when she needed it?

To me the next step to this scenario is Kira fucking up and Calypso watching her die. I mean, this is some serious shit. Worst of all, Harry curls up and takes it from Krum when he should be unleashing some righteous fury over Kira's holy fucking psycho play.

Oh dear, she could have been hurt when she hit the b-b-bookshelf! What about the helpless girl in unbearable agony? Maybe if Kira had broken her spine they all could have had a frubjous laugh about it. Par for the course.

 

Well yes, if you have to find something to bitch about the fanon cliches are the biggest problems in this chapter, though I only felt that the animagus cliche bashing was too over the top.

Hmmh, while the Kira vs. Calypso thing was well written, it is starting to make Kira look like a complete psycho laughing at a younger girl who is in dangerous and painful situation. While that brought Harry's protective reaction out and got the romance started, things have to be damn strained between Viktor and Harry, especially as Viktor didn't seem to think what Kira did as anything worse than their usual needling.

 

I'm just going to be parroting Howdy's parroting of other people's complaints. I came to this topic with the sole purpose of saying how awful Kira was and how Harry's reaction to Krum was off but everyone else has managed to do a good job.

Kira was there to cast the Homorphus Charm if anything went wrong. Her sitting their laughing while Calypso is potentially dying as Parac pointed out is ridiculous, I was pretty much yelling at my monitor when I saw Harry looking at his feet while Krum lectured him.

Even if Harry didn't like Calypso he would have thrown Kira across the room if not practice the Cruciatus Curse on her for laughing while ignoring her responsibility to turn Calypso back before she dies. And it was her responsibility since the group was created for the sole purpose of avoiding serious harm during the animagus transformation.

 

Kira did precisely what everybody rational would expect her to do. She hates Calypso and won´t help her voluntarily. Harry and Viktor have seen enough fights to know that leaving them alone is invitation for disaster. I do not know why Harry was surprised when Kira took her pleasure from Calypso´s misfortune and did not help her like many times before.

I think that Krum did his best during the fight. He made the right choice to disarm the (probably) most dangerous combatant who suddenly attacked his girlfriend with no reason (Calypso´s agony was her own fault for panicking during transformation, Kira was taunting only Calypso and that seems to be standard for any conversation that she has with Calypso).

 

@Jigokuno: in your sig, it should be "they're," not "their." Just an FYI.

On topic: a little Devil's advocate time:

1. What read like a much longer scene was probably only a few seconds. Who's to say that Kira wouldn't have turned her back?

2. It's the magical world. They have completely different ideas about what constitues an acceptable amount of pain inflicted, since everything can be remedied so thoroughly and quickly. This is a world where breaking someone's bones is on par with giving someone a bloody nose.

Look at the description of Calypso after Harry reverses her failed transformation: nothing about lingering pain, or soreness, or any sort of pain while she was making smiley lovefaces at Harry.

3. Leavin the two girls alone, while arguably not smart, will always be more dangerous for Kira. Calypso is the better wand in such confrontations, and is a Rosier - and she has made every effort to remind Kira of the latter. If you think that Romulus Rosier wouldn't inflict psycho levels of pain on anyone responsible for seriously injuring or killing his daughter (especially if said someone is from a lower/disgraced family), then...well...lol.

I'd like to think that Kira is aware of this, which goes back to my first point: she would've lifted the failed transformation, if only to save her own hide.

 

I am unsure where you're from but where I'm from giving verbal lashings is part of what makes you human while standing over someone incapable of even screaming from the raw pain they're feeling laughing joyously (really full of joy, not just sneering or fake-laughing dumbly to look "kewl") makes you inhuman, a fucking psychopath at that.

These two situations are not related. It's a line that has to be crossed. Like between taunting and hitting someone, between getting in small childish 'fights' consisting of pushing each other, lightly, and hitting someone in the face full force. Like between small childish fights and taking a crowbar to someone's head. The lines are there, Kira crossed it.

Allow me to rephrase that for you:

He made the right choice to disarm the second most dangerous combatant, right after Calypso, who suddenly attacked his psychotic girlfriend after she crossed the line so far that I doubt he would have acted much different if the roles had been reversed. (Calypso´s agony was an expected consequence of panicking during the transformation, something well documented that people cannot protect against that can have lethal consequences - the reason they always work in pairs with the explicit understanding that the other one helps if something goes wrong. Kira was taunting only Calypso whom she just caused pain harsh enough to completely incapacitate her to for shits and giggles and that seems, except for the very scene in question, to be standard for any conversation that she has with Calypso)


The main thing that amazes me about this scene is the sheer amount of outrage I somehow feel. I suppose the fact that I can actually feel for the characters in question lends credit to the idea that this story is great, but this bugs me something fierce. I get Harry not bothering to call Kira out during their earlier interactions about being a complete bitch. There are reasons after all: she's useful, his best "mate"'s girlfriend and all that.

But he should have seriously punched her in the teeth for that stunt. And Kira actually acting enraged, as if being hit by a "flinging hex" is somehow horrible and unjust, compared to causing enough pain to incapacitate Calypso (who has quite a high resistance for punishment of all kinds)? Just.. wow.


I generally agree with Blaise that she might have, eventually, helped Calypso, but she still showed a side to her that felt very much like a complete fucking psychopath. It's similar to Draco laughing when Harry nearly gets crushed in melee by a dragon, or finding it hilarious how he nearly fell to his death because of the dementors coming along for some quidditch front row seats mid-game. Sort of leaves the hairs on my back standing up.

If that had been Calypso I would hope Harry wouldn't even consider deepening his relationship with her.

 

Chapter was meh content-wise. I agree with Parac on that fight scene.
I guess the kiss was only a matter of time, but I still think Calypso is a bitch. As is Kira. But Kira is a straight forward bitch. Calypso is sneaky.
Well whatever, chapter was awesome as always. The month will be over before we know it.

 

I don't really think the Calypso-Kira scene was out of line. From the way their relationship has been portrayed throughout the story, I could easily picture Kira laughing at Calypso's problems with the transformation and taunting her about them.

What I did think was bad however, was Harry's reaction to Krum. He just stands their and accepts his dressing down and that he was wrong? I don't think so. Even if he was, (which I don't think he was) and knew that he was, in the heat of the moment he would argue back. And then Krum throws in a little threat about how he won't use something as nice as Expelliarmus next time? Fuck that. Harry's still worried and mad, a blatant threat like that should push his temper over the line and provoke some sort of response.

If it was me, I'd respond to the threat by either telling him to go fuck himself or responded with a threat of my own.

All in all, Harry's characterization just felt off in the Krum interaction. He's been shown to be a person with a temper who won't hesitate to fight or stand up for himself. But here he just lays down and takes it from Krum while he's already in a rage? Doesn't ring true to me.

 

It's Kira's horribleness that justifies Harry's actions. The problem is that if they're justified, he should feel slightly more self-righteous when getting reprimanded by Krum.

That expression. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Good point. It's not the impression the scene gives off though, and that's the most relevant aspect, in the end.

It's well established in the story that the transformation is extremely dangerous. Arguably she seems fine afterwards. Still, it read a bit like Kira laughing while watching Calypso drown; it's easy to say she's fine afterwards.

I don't know that this is true. Calypso may be more dangerous, but Kira has beaten her in duels when Calypso didn't have the advantage of Legilimency.

 

Tenages, if it was anyone else, I'd agree that Harry'd fuck them up in no time flat for a threat like that. As it stands, Krum is one of his only two friends. He felt so alienated at Hogwarts that he left. Harry is a badass, yes, but he also has a serious need for his friends. Harry is ready to take shit from Krum more than anyone, because he's his first actual friend. Do I think that Krum is right? Hell no. But I can see Harry taking this lecture, if only for the sake of his friendship.

I also agree with Blaise. We saw scant moments of the transformation mishap, and if Kira knew what was good for her, she was just getting ready to reverse it. One way or another, I'm sure Santi will show us the reasoning in February(I guess this update was our christmas present).

On the topic of the cliche references...the animagus one was jarring, but funny. I did feel it was ooc for Calypso, at least, to be asking that question. The Cruciatus one...I didn't even notice. It felt like legitimate teaching to me. Rosier was showing how dark the unforgivables are.

 

I am not quite sure Harry should even allow himself to be reprimanded at all. So in essence, I agree. Assuming that is what thesanti was aiming at.

Indeed? While it's true that I'm not a native speaker by any stretch of imagination I used to be quite sure that character assassination was an attempt by either a person to defame someone (á la Fudge, Skeeter, Umbridge, etc.) or an author having one of his characters do something so heinous and out there that the character will most likely be hated from this point forward.

If I am wrong about the latter definition, sorry.

 

Tenages, you must take into account the fact that Viktor is Harry's first friend, before he met him, he was pretty lonely, sad....

So Harry has the same problem than Nathan/CanonHarry with Ron's bitchings or Remus with the bullying the Marauders did: even when he knows it's wrong, he doesn't do anything about it because he got this irrational fear that Viktor will simply go away and stop being his friend if he reacts bluntly.

At least, that's how I see it, because I just don't see any other reason why Harry didn't go berserk and make a "Marietta in Bluer Than Indigo" with the evil sadistic bitch.

 

Harry could have killed Kira if Krum didn't intervene. Stonewalls aren't exactly known for their softness. Besides, Kira didn't actually do anything; Calypso did everything on her own. She failed in something that no thirteen-year-old kid should have even tried. What happened was a logical conclusion of her vainglory and arrogance. Not helping someone in need is not nearly as bad as actually attacking someone.

 

It's easy to say that Kira wouldn't have changed her back, as well, but no one can say for certain.

True enough, but I still think Calypso is the more dangerous wand. She obviously has a greater capacity to learn, given her capabilities in relation to her age; I like to believe that growing up around the Dark Arts doesn't necessarily guarantee a capacity for learning and executing them.

That said, Calypso's skill as a tool for keeping Kira in line isn't even the biggest deterrent. Like I said, it's her father. If, for the sake of argument, Kira manages to do real damage to Calypso, Romulus would probably task Calypso with fucking Kira's shit up - and she doesn't like failing her father. If Kira pulled off something truly psychotic, a la letting Calypso die due to a failed transformation, Kira knows that she and her whole family would disappear.

 

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon