A good update, better than the last one. I wonder how detention will look like with all foreshadowing about it in earlier chapters.

 

Very, very good. I'm looking forward to the detention now. A nice take on the romance portion of the fic too. It's believable. Just like it ought to be between good friends.

 

Good update, there's not really much to comment on. However, it is nice to see Viktor's ascension to stardom; it would be great if at some point in time there is a scene where Nathan and James are at one of Bulgaria's matches, amazed at how good Viktor is, and then, after the match, they see Harry casually talking to him, catching them off guard completely.

 

I think the Potters know Krum is the protagonist's best friend.

 

All purebloods in England had exciting names - like Black. And Greengrass. And Smith. And Bones.

 

Sometimes I wonder how anyone can tolerant Calypso's... well, intolerance. Either she's completely unsubtle in her desire for Harry to start using Darker magic (and Harry's an idiot), or she's so brainwashed by her father she can't fathom the idea of not using Dark magic.

Besides, who ever said that there isn't plenty of great magic to learn that isn't Dark? I swear I see that claim in a lot of Dark!Harry fics, what few I read.

Calypso's annoying attitude aside, a decent update. I can agree that the plot is sometimes lacking. But the world building often makes up for it. As always, I look forward to more when it comes.

 

They know one of his friends goes by the name of Viktor, who is very good in quidditch, but they don't know it's the very same international quidditch seeker Viktor Krum. This was shown in chapter 10 part 2/3.

 

Secs I'm just a fan of the German national football team. On my outline the name was going to be Wilks or something, and I changed it after Bayern lost to Inter in the champions league (Fuck that game I stopped watching in the 52 min and it all went to hell). Basically, I thought Muller was less blatently fanboyish than Schweinsteiger or Lahm for a German name.

 

Idly.

/filler

 

It was a decent addition. Only interesting bits were Nathan's skill with the patronus and Harry's reluctance of using Dark Arts for the 3rd year mastery. Felt kinda fillery to be honest. Keep it up.

 

I still find it hard to believe that Harry and Calypso will allow themselves to be in the same room as Kira at this point. When is Harry going to tell Viktor to keep his psycho bitch girlfriend the hell away from him?

 

Well... to be fair he did use legilimency on her.

Update was good overall. Nothing fancy, just good writing really.

 

Santi's new yoghurt fetish aside, I do like the direction that their relationship is going in - I just wish there were a few more private, 'tender' moments around to deepen it a tad, although it seems to be pretty early for that. (Hopefully, later chapters?)

 

That's a long sentence. End the first sentence at "personal maintenance wizard."

Capitalised, or not?

Does that need to be two seperate paragraphs? Starting the second sentence with "Only to" reads poorly. You could join the two sentences into one long one, or change the beginning of the second sentence.

eg1. With the Notice-Me-Not charm in place, Harry walked over and opened his door, only to come face to face with a stressed out Viktor Krum, who was apparently a second away from knocking.

eg2. With the Notice-Me-Not charm in place, Harry walked over and opened his door. He came face to face with a stressed out Viktor Krum, who was apparently a second away from knocking.

Unless he's disposing of the claims, it'd be more correct to say that he was "throwing around these ridiculous claims." Throwing out isn't incorrect, though, but it does have slightly different conotations.

Beaters,

draughts

You used both "in" and "into," when you should only use one in this case. Eliminate one of them, and the line reads much better.

You've used a lot of ellipses in this awkward conversation, and this is the only one without a space afterwards. Also, you're missing a tiny word.

But... that's not it at all!

"come of age" is the common phrase.

Change that comma after "awkwardly" into a period.

Is Calypso using Australia in place of where we'd use Timbuktu? I lol'd. Well, at first I thought you'd mistyped Austria, seeing how closely connected it is to Germany [Calypso's discussing a purebred German family after all], but Harry's response makes me think you actually meant Australia. Consider using "outback Australia" if you don't want readers to wonder if you've made a typo.

idly wondering

I try to keep away from correcting commas, but is there any need for the two commas around the word 'unintentionally'? You could get rid of them both and the sentence would read the same.

broken

accident,

You've used italics for this spell, which I don't remember seeing before. It also isn't capitalised, which is something you've usually done.

Should it be capitalised, or not? You've done both in this chapter.

"the group" "the group" is repetitive. You can use "them" in the second instance.

 

And you're completely right in that Muller is a total baller, and is the best player on that team.

Not much happening chapter wise, but some more progression into Legilimancy and I guess some progression into Calypso's pants. But, as always, solid writing and more interesting than just about everything else out there.

Just wondering though, how will Harry's education get resolved? Obviously he'll finish Charms, Transfiguration and Potions first, then spend an incredibly easy year hanging out, I guess? Or maybe the seventh year will be interrupted by an exciting chase for several trinkets in forest for a year?

 

There is some kind of non-curricular study. Students have access to the professors... or at least, one of the profs has offered to assist Harry with "sensing magic" during that period if Harry is still interested by that time.

 

This should be obvious enough by now. At Durmstrang, if you complete all seven levels of education in a subject ahead of schedule, you can take a secret eighth 'Boss' level.

In Boss-level courses, the only two grades are Fail and "Fuck Yea."

 

So, a marriage contract is signed by the groom and the bride's father? That's surprisingly sexist... There has been some debate over this already, but it makes very little sense for the Wizarding World to be patriarchal.

Oh well, it's a small thing and as long as you know what you are doing and keep it consistent, I won't complain.