It's not so much the romance that bothers me, so much as the way it's been the entire story for the last few chapters. It's written very well, so that's not the problem.

Idk, the stories that I enjoy with Romance in them, have it broken up by other things happening in between. Kind of like the H/F in Wastelands, there's a lot that happens in between the romance sections.

 

Sesc got on my case for an OC having the name Müller in D&R. I think he was dumped in the past by a chick with the last name Müller.

The benign bit of romance fits into the longer story is undoubtedly going to seem different when considered in the longer story and not read piecemeal, as this has been. Even plot-heavy stories don't feel quite as much so when parceled into small bits. (Recall Turn Me Loose as a case in point). Plot intricacies are going to happen in spades once the two worlds slam together with the TWT. I think we're all expecting that fireworks are going to happen and we won't be wanting for plot. This so far is setting the table for a feast, a necessary bit of preparation in order to make the eventual conflicts--the Potters and Harry, Harry and his brother, Calypso's identity, Rosier, Harry's delving into the Dark Arts, whoever is roped into being the competitors--so much more interesting.

Related to these conflicts, one thing I was expecting after the holidays (but didn't see mention of) was a reaction on Harry's parents' part to Harry's petulantly Portkeying away early at the start of term without saying goodbye. Irrespective of whether he was right in wishing for his brother to learn defensive spells, his leaving was an act of defiance that I was expecting would have fallout. I'm not saying that this confrontation should have been done in the story proper (it'd likely disrupt the flow if so), but unless I missed it, it's a little inconsistent for Harry to return and everything be wonderful, that he didn't get into at least some trouble. (The Potters don't seem the type to just shrug and forget, not after we saw Lily's concern in her conversations with Snape).

Other than that niggling thing, it's a nice update. One wonders whether they'll allow the healer to remove the scars left from Harry's lashes...

 

I tend to agree with this, but I neither think, nor hope, that the style of the story will dramatically change after some sort of exposition stage. The story needs conflict, but I don't think it's been really missing that, because the conflict has always seemed inevitable. Harry growing up in a vastly different environment from what his family knows, the Triwizard Tournament, Voldemort - each of these would be enough to justify and utilise the character devellopment we've enjoyed until now. And little needs to change in terms of action for the story to make good on its potential. It's a character driven story, and I hope it stays that way.

The argument that you would rate it 3/5 or 4/5 "for what is there" is rather ridiculous in that sense. I don't rate stories as if they were going to be abandoned the next day. Myself, I don't think that technically the writing or the plot are spectacular, or that the story comes anywhere close to perfection. The substance could have been wrapped in prettier packages of stylish writing and minor plot arcs. I think it's a 5/5 because it's the most sympathetic protagonist I've read in a fic, interacting with great characters and evolving in one of the best extensions to Rowling's magical world. Which is what Harry Potter was always about, for me.

Regarding the update:

I'd rather this was more tastefully put, if only to avoid any mention of "feeling his brother's arousal". "Sense his brother's lust" would not be inadequate.

I thought this was redundant, as I'd already garnered most of that from the preceding paragraphs. Better left implicit.

The rest is decent, a bit short on subtance.

I really have no idea what you're going on about. Yes, some of Calyspo's main flaws are her superior attitude and intolerance, but I fail to see how that applies to their argument on dark magic. She's just making the coherent point that dark magic also worth learning (which you'll note, is slightly different form claiming that 'there isn't plenty of great magic to learn that isn't Dark'), regardless of the prejudice his family has against it, and then she lets the matter drop. I'll just paste this, so you can read it again:

 

I just had the time to read the new chapter and since this is my first review I just have to say that this is in the top three of all the fic's I read. It has the potential to make the first place though.

Regardless of the potential i give it a 5/5 because I love the characters. My favorite character is Calypso, because of the unsolved mystery around her (or it might be because I have a thing for woman who mean problems in real life).

Now to the matter at hand, even as a Harry/Calypso fan I think you should reduce the romance until the end of this school year or the start of the next one.

 

Harry's motivation at the end was different to what I expected. I thought he took credit for it in order to build up the idea that he would personally take revenge on anyone who insulted his mother.

Not sure which I prefer.

At times to romance has felt a bit heavy-handed. Some of the conflict seems artificial - people seem to over-react to a lot of things - and the tone seems to bounce quite rapidly between argument and fluff. It reminds me a bit of Ron/Hermione. To be clear: that's not a good thing.

 

I have to agree that Müller is a bit common name, but I didn't notice it until Sesc pointed it out.

As for the marriage contract... Have none of you heard of Andromeda Black? I really don't understand the tone of finality when speaking about the contracts.

@Taure: I'd rather Harry not be a hothead, incapable of taking such a lame insult without the need of retribution.

 

I'm really not entirely sure where I stand on this story right now, having reread it. It's not that I have problems with the writing or the style - both are streamlined and simple, and very intuitively easy to read - but elements of the story just... bug me, so to speak.

Don't get me wrong, I really like the environment at Durmstrang, with the differing educational system and style. I like the majority of the characters, and I think that this is probably the best Krum in fanfic in terms of character development. Most of the secondary characters (the few that we do have) are interesting, and you write Snape very well, which is always a plus in my book.

But maybe it's just me, but I can't stand Calypso. It's not that she's written badly or inconsistently, but she just seems like a completely untrustworthy, unlikeable bitch, and while I don't have a problem with her and Harry being friends, the relationship doesn't feel right at all. I feel the chemistry between her and Harry is starting to seem very forced, and it doesn't feel natural at all for Harry to be with her, at least at this point in the story. She didn't bother me nearly as much earlier in the fic, and I'm really not sure where things changed, but I really don't like this relationship setup. I just don't understand why Harry likes her, or sees anything in her, that's all.

Similarly, I really don't like the changes in characterization I've seen with Kira. Don't get me wrong, she's never been a 'great' character, but it seems that she's losing depth as the story carries on, coming off more as a some hotheaded cooing bitch you see fawning over alpha dudes at clubs - and I really don't like that transition.

I don't have issues with the pacing of the story or most of the actual content - although the relationship drama between Muller and Calypso just feels awkward and stilted, but I really didn't like this recent update, and this story is unfortunately starting to lose some of its lustre.

Sorry, dude, but you can really do better.

 

You mean to tell me she's no longer a talented, yet prejudicial, bitter, antagonistic, bitch that probably latched onto Krum, during a time when no one would look at him, because he could bring some sort of status to her family? Wow, when did that happen?

 

The relationship does feel a bit odd, but I'm holding off on downrating it given the ages of the two people involved. If it seems a bit rushed and awkward at times, does that really distinguish it from a great deal of pre-teen romances? For those who don't like Calypso, there's still the possibility that she'll get offed. Violently.

As for the overall shape of the story, it is fairly simple to this point, but given what we know of the canon timeline and Harry's eventual "dark" turn, it's not going to be simple forever. And given this inevitability, I feel that I need to wait until things get serious before I can give it a final verdict. But this story is already so long that I'll make a (provisional) exception.

4/5 as of this moment, and waiting for the meat of the story to make a more meaningful rating (which will probably start around 250k or 300k words, maybe? :awesome)

 

I know what you're saying, but in regards to them being pre-teens, I'll just point out that Harry is 13 and Calypso is 14.

 

Awesome fic is awesome, but recent chapters are a bit formulaic, no?

-Harry ponders some sort of end of term project idea
-Harry and Krum have a short convo where Krum expresses the usual skepticism
-Calypso shows up, its briefly awkward
-Harry/Calypso fluff
-Kira turns up and it inevitably results in magic-slinging with Calypso
-Calypso defends Harry/Harry defends Calypso
-Krum is doing awesome at quidditch- there is either a convo about this or fanboy reactions from fellow students
THE END

I agree with Silens in the sense that I can't understand why Harry's even with her at all... at the same time though, I can't discount it as unrealistic; because I feel the same way about some of my friends' bitchy girlfriends.

I dunno mate, I still love it- but maybe I'm a bit impatient for it to live up to the promise of chapters gone by.

Everything from the Hogwarts' staff dynamic to your Snape (never seen a Snape so well characterised in a story where the Potters are alive).... your Potter family to your Grindlewald...was all so new and interesting, that perhaps, somewhat unrealistically, I've come to expect the same every chapter.

 

Another lurker joins the fray~

Without the setup you'll get a fic that reads like a shopping-list where stuff just continues to happen for no reason, with no build-up or hints at it coming at all. I'm not sure if I'm remembering it right but hasn't Santi already said that 4th year is when shit is gonna go down with the Tournament as the stage? All of this is building to that point.

And if you can't see that Harry's descent into 'going dark' began ages ago with Quirrelmort laying the groundwork by blurring Harry's perception of Light and Dark, and his work being continued by the Rosier's encouraging prods, then maybe you need to re-read this fic from the top.

While I'm not opposed to the idea of more action&adventure in Harry's life I think it's good that Santi's been withholding it and instead focused on setting up Harry's various relationships with his family, friends and teachers at Durmstrang. If Harry started getting into dangerous and wacky adventures the moment he set foot in his new school and then continued with an even wackier one the next year it'd just be a variation of the original. Don't get me wrong, watching Harry academically dominate his generation and growing grayer and grayer by the day while deepening his relationship with Calypso is indeed awesome, although that's not to say I wouldn't like to see something happend in 3rd year that nicely sets the stage for Harry's return to Hogwarts.

For instance, Müller's recent introduction into Harry's life and his ability to not to take no for an answer coupled with his unreasonable hate for Harry moves him up on Harry's list of priorities. A little experimental Legilimency on Müller reveals a memory of Harry getting cursed in the back in the library in his first year and suddenly Harry has a new project for the year, revenge. Backed by an ecstatic Calypso and her scheming father Harry eventually pays back his debt to Müller, with interest in the form of a couple of additional days in the infirmary.

The end result of the Müller-situation being that Harry arrives at Hogwarts with quite the unpleasant reputation. He's already encouraged rumours at Durmstrang about him cursing students who bother him, the rumor-mill at Hogwarts already established him as anti-social and jealous of his more outgoing brother and it didn't help any that he basically marched into the Great Hall and threatened Ron in front of the entire school during 2nd year. Add to that the rumours that's going to be circulating at Hogwarts in 3rd year (Calypso can't be the only one who corresponds with friends in Hogwarts) and Harry is basically gonna be Grindewald 2.0 in the eyes of Hogwarts students.

Hmm.. looks like I went off on a bit of a tangent there. :|

This issue got a brief mention in a previous update, apparently Harry was going to write a letter to his parents explaining why he left early. He must have done a good joob getting out of punishment considering it didn't get a mention when he got back and instead managed to get himself some more tutoring in advanced magic from Lily. I'm gonna assume that the argument was defused during an exchange of letters during the term or that his punishment was significantly lessened, cut his allowance or something instead of permanent confinement to his room for the duration of the holiday. Still, I'm surprised Santi completely skipped the holiday, I was looking forward to Harry interacting with his family again..

Karkaroff is no stranger to special treatment so I'll be surprised if Harry doesn't get out of punishment again. Aside from being Durmstrang's poster boy for academic awesomeness he also has Dumbledore looking out for him, and I think Karkaroff still has Albus' not so unsubtle threat in mind even now so he'll be hesitant in actually going through with the standard flogging. Who knows, maybe he's decided another change in policy is in order and do away with corporal punishments entirely. Besides, I find it unlikely that Harry would actually get away with taking the blame for something Calypso did, especially when she did it surrounded by witnesses. I'll be disappointed in Karkaroff if he actually falls for this bluff.

I guess she's starting to buckle under the pressure of being the girlfriend of 'international quidditch superstar Krum'. She's always been a jealous hotheaded bitch so it doesn't surprise me that as his fame grows and more and more people in Durmstrang take notice of him she's gonna get more possessive and display the uglier side of her personality more often, even to the point where Krum goes 'wtf is wrong with you, bitch?'. Her self-esteem issues of being born into what is apparently the laughing stock of Pureblood society and Calypso's constant reminder thereof adds to the clusterfuck that'll probably end with them breaking up before or during Harry's 4th year.

 

The one thing I also want to see by this time in the story by this time is Harry's change in motivations, as Taure pointed out. We saw a few chapters ago how he hexed Ron for not agreeing with him. Seems, if he is destined to go dark, some of his behavior should start to get impulsive, or even arrogant. Seeing as how everyone in the school knows how brilliant he is, and are even somewhat scared of him, I can't help but think how can he remain so humble, especially when he is friends with Krum, whose fame is certainly on a rise.

I also agree with some of what has been said above about the Harry/Calypso relationship.

Still, I haven't given up hope. Reading the Grindelwald scene again, I guess Santi has some grand plans. A couple of slow chapters haven't made me loose faith.

 

Why does everyone keep saying that Kira is a bitch? I mean.... of course she is; she is a teenage girl (by definition a vicious creature who loves to see anyone, even her friends from time to time, being crushed) who lived in a school where violence used to be a pretty commun occurence.


As for the Harry/Calypso: they both lived with just their family, no school, no friends, no social skills. They also started learning magik early, so they had to face the jalousy and anger of people around them who judged them on their name only. Something they didn't do to the other. They help the other: tutoring, slav...euh expension of Calypso's room, she saved him from an cursed book in their 1st year. They want to become great in magic and work hard for that. Now, they are 13/14, it's natural for them to be curious about the other sex, and because they are comfortable only toward the other... well, it's normal for them to start a relationship.

(There is also the fact that Calypso would do anything to improve Harry's skill in magic, so she'll probably start giving him blowjobs by the end of the year for his patronus.)

 

Kira isn't a bitch she just wants Harry's dick so bad its not funny anymore. Opposites attract

 

I'd lol if Harry fucked Cho just to psych out Cedric in 4th year. Provided he gets into the tournament at all.

 

Maybe vlad or someone else is ready for a next omake :awesome

 

Wait, wasn't it already done in What would Slytherin Harry Do (shame we never saw its spin off - Who would Slytherin Harry Do )?

That's a good material for an omake.

I wonder (not for the first time) if we will see hints what happened in "canon" time line to Krum/Kira pairing even if in this story they will stay together.

 

One thing I am wondering about is that when Harry hits Hogwarts, will Calypso come with in the Durmstrang contingent? What would be the eventual fallout of her going?

I'm also wondering if any of the girls at Hogwarts (particularly pureblood Slytherins) are going to keep an eye on him due to his accomplishments/strength and the rumors surrounding him, pissing off Calypso.

There's also the whole Krum/Kira angle, and that with Krum's fascination with Hermione in the canon timeline; is there going to be some tension there, especially with Harry being caught in the mix?

(As he's a casual acquaintance with Hermione, and a close-friend of Krum).

Whilst I do love the whole Harry/Calypso romance plot going on and would love to see more of it, I personally hope that it won't overshadow the main story's plotline in general.

Ron dislikes Harry immensely, so one thing I am looking forward to reading is how the dynamic between Ron and the others is going to work out.

 

Ugh, I seriously doubt that Santi is going to have Slytherin girls lining up to both metaphorically and literally suck his dick. Considering he's gone out of his way to avoid terrible cliches, and outright mocking them in some cases, it really would throw off the story.

I'm actually kind of interested in seeing Ron's reaction to finding out that Harry is close friends with one of Quidditch's rising stars. I don't expect an explosive, petulant blow up or anything, but I imagine it would be entertaining.


Also, totally calling it right now. In an attempt to smooth things over with Kira, Harry offers to privately tutor her in Occlumency while simultaneously working on his Legilimency. After accidentally pawing through several compromising memories of her and Krum, one thing leads to another and Harry has steamy hate sex with her.

/trollface