Yeah, actually, if you wake up in a hospital bed, there's a stranger nearby, and the response to "hello; who are you?" is "stfu", a slap (as an analogue to magic spells), and further threats, yeah, it is a fair call to call them mentally imbalanced.

Are you even reading the same story?
[Edit: screw it.]

 

You're right. Other than Durmstrang's advanced classes, it isn't even as nice for Harry as Hogwarts. It's extremely far away from home, has more blood prejudice, he does not have his brother there with him, nor does he have the protection of the most powerful wizard on earth, who just happens to be his pseudo-grandfather. He let a bunch of kids come between him and his blood brother, when they were supposed to be close, and now he'll settle for Kira, who again, isn't like Ron. She's worse. If he was smart, he'd go back and take lessons from Flitwick, Snape, Minerva and Dumbledore, masters of Charms, dueling, transfiguration, alchemy, potions, and more.

Santi worked very hard to set up the premise involving Harry leaving Hogwarts, but I think Justblaise had a good point. It might have been too early to leave, because it's going to be a huge question as to why it was so easy to get Harry to want to leave Hogwarts when he's willing to accept this kind of treatment at Durmstrang, from people he doesn't know, thousands of miles away from home, at a school where he has just been violently assaulted twice, one attack involving an unknown assailant shattering his scapula.

 

Now I see where you're coming from. However, I was under the impression when reading that Harry left Hogwarts so could accelerate his learning (something he's been passionate about from the beginning of chapter 1). You'll have to excuse me if I'm not going to go for this ditching-his-brother-because-of-Ron argument though. Harry left because of his brother -yes, but it wasn't because Nathan found friends, it was because Harry didn't.

I'm not minimizing Harry's competency by calling him an ass or labeling him as arrogant, simply stating a personality trait I saw. If you don't agree -whatever. It's really not that big of a deal, it's simply how I interpreted Harry as I read him.

Edit:

Lol

 

Obligatory rebuttal: Kira is a female, and all HP females, no matter how capable or pretty, end up being useless (see Fleur and Hermione's choices in spouses, and Bellatrix's death).

I don't know how much having a friend will hold weight, seeing as how he and Kira are going to butt heads (and they will butt heads, just not in front of Krum). Unless Harry puts her in her place (which I'd want to see) or she does the "ice queen to nice girl" transition (which is gay), being friends with Krum will be a pain in the ass. That's assuming that Krum stays all that friendly: there's already the lingering pride over being tutored by a first year, and Harry's disintrest in quidditch may become an issue when Krum becomes Durmstrang's favorite son in the future. That, and Kira could potentially be just as much of a polarizing influence as Ron is - only unlike with Ron and Nathan, Kira would literally suck Krum's dick.

Once you eliminate the friend aspect, there's still the verbal abuse and potential for other attacks to occur from other students.

 

The most impressive thing about this fic is its ability to draw people in enough to have so many of them writing long ass rants about stupid shit that half the time isn't even important to the story. Bravo.

As for Kira she can continue to be a hot female Malfoy and Harry can continue to pwn the shit out of her by being smarter and far better at magic. Win win. Durmstrang hasn't been as boring as I feared but I do hope the plot there moves along quickly because it's not really the most exciting stage for conflict.

 

I do recall in PS that Draco's family sent him sweets every weak, and that he had an eagle owl or something like that.

Still, I think that it's reasonable, knowing how upset Nathan was at the end of chapter 3, that he would write his brother. And remember Harry isn't upset or angry with Nathan, so he would have no reason not to write and explain how he is liking Durmstrang. In fact, the Potters would probably take it as a bad sign if Harry didn't stay in somewhat constant communication with them.

 

"Since there were no houses to separate students, the teams represented a faculty member," - How do they divide potential candidates? Say Harry's transfiguration and charms teachers both want him on their team, who would get him? The house systems means a student can play for only one possible team.

"the other teams Seeker" - team's

Yes, it was a good match,” - missing open quote

Potter,” - missing open quote

"let's go get some diner" - dinner

"Harry said giving the resident" - doesn't sound right. He spoke and then smiled, but the tenses used are wrong.

"Lady Doktor", "Lady Shluga" - Are they ladies in the social class sense (their husbands are lords), or do you translate "frau" as "lady"? Because "frau" is just "Mrs".

"to pose as a merely curious onlooker." - switch places of "a" and "merely" to get: "to pose as merely a curious onlooker".

"Lady Sluga immediately paled." - you called her "S_h_luga" before. Anyway, "Schluga" is a german last name (note s-c-h, the german way of writing the sound), while "sluga" is "servant" in Russian (and not used as a last name, AFAIK).

"a simple quid pro quo" - this latin expression is not used for blackmail. It means "I'll scratch your back and you'll scratch mine", an arrangement between equals.

"Thank you Lady Sluga" - again with the name

"The girl waited until Lady Sluga" - again

"loosing her job" - losing

"would you stop figiting" - fidgeting

 

From wikipedia: "The term may also be used to describe blackmail, where a person offers to refrain from some harmful conduct in return for valuable consideration."

 

You are right, but I perceive the term when used for blackmail to be a euphemism (Lucious Malfoy would use it to be obnoxious when blackmailing someone) and the victim of such blackmail would not use the term in their own thoughts, unless quoting the blackmailer. The legal term actually specifies that it has to be a fair agreements and the court would void the contract if it's too lopsided (same wikipedia article, with link to law school text).

 

...right. My bad.

 

Ok, I will admit that thus far this is quite a good story, but I would like to point out that it's not nearly far enough along to be rating it. I've seen other stories start out at a similar standard and then go to hell in a handbasket.

I'm not saying this is one of them, but it is far FAR to soon to be rating it.


That is all.

~Manatheron~

 

Does anyone know a place where I can get some good spells? I've been using stuff from the lexicon, but I'm trying to write a dueling scene, and I'd like to incorporate some other spells.

 

Make shit up. Don't make them too obvious though. I shouldn't be able to guess immediately what the spell does from the incantation.

 

There's also a pretty comprehensive grimoire here at DLP, IIRC.

 

Grimoire

And the raw form of it here if you want to wade through the rejects as well.


Alternately, buy a Latin dictionary. It really doesn't matter if you butcher the grammar; Rowling's spells aren't exactly done in the pure language themselves.

 

Just found this and I have to say I'm fairly impressed. Its not perfect, but then, canon wasn't perfect either.

Just a few thoughts:

I was wondering why Kakaroff, considering his position, isn't more proactive in protecting Harry from physical harm. To say he has a lot to lose is a gross understatement and whilst Harry saved him any trouble on this occasion by choosing not to inform his parents, I'd hardly think Kakaroff would be careless enough to disregard the possibilty of Harry being hurt again and the potential consequences for himself.

I wasn't too impressed with Krum's girlfriend either, she's distasteful, but she kind of fits somehow so I can't really complain.

Harry's going to have a lot of challenges ahead of him and some tough decisions to make. My question to you then is whether he'll soon recognise the necessity of being able to protect himself with magic and if it will further his studies in the dark arts. Krum can't be around all the time and surely he'll eventually realise that if Krum's Dark Arts prowess is what keeps away his detractors he should put some further effort into study in that field.

I also can't help but see little parallels between Harry and Tom Riddle, though Harry's childhood is different enough to explain away the differences. Tom Riddle would have been known as a halfblood considering his last name and it couldn't have been easy as a half blood in Slytherin. I can see however, how Harry's situation might be harder in some ways since unlike Tom, his prodigious talent isn't likely to improve his standing amongst his peers and teachers by very much.

I commend you for remembering that Harry is an 11yr old (albeit a very gifted one) and having him suitably characterised in most instances. It will be interesting to see where you take this.

Don't bother answering any of my questions if you feel it would take away from the story.

Keep up the good work.

 

A good online translator tends to help if you're looking for spells. Just make sure to test the translation both ways to make sure you get the actual 'effect' you're looking for.

You'll want to be careful with a dueling scene in this fic, though - Harry's only a first year, and maybe it's just me, but I don't see him knowing a plethora of dueling/battle spells.

 

Rowling not conforming to standard Latin in her spells? Pfft, such accusations are ridikkulus.

/rimshot

on topic-ish: not directly articulating a spell is often just as effective as epic-sounding Latin. "A barked command unleashed a gust of subartic wind.", that sort of thing. I'd opt for the translator over the grimoire; like Silens said, most of the stuff in there would (and should) be way above an advanced first year's capability.

 

Kira is fine as she is. Making her annoying provides some antagonism for us to enjoy the resolution of (preferably Harry sticking his wand up her arse and casting a blasting curse).