Can't check the fic, but going by the canon timeline, Peter entered the dormitory in november, got "killed", Nathan got a broom for it, and then a few months later they see Peter on the map again (without a wand this time).

 

It is because you forgot what happened a few paragraphs earlier, specifically this part:

 

I thought it was a nice touch, but not enough to warrant a comment.

 

Ah, right, that makes sense.

 

Went back and found this.

Peter's alive, Nathan doesn't own a Firebolt (unless he was given one off-camera). From my understanding the whole confrontation in the dorm was scrapped and was replaced with Peter showing up near the quidditch pitch and getting chased off by Remus and that's the last we've seen of him.

 

Comments and corrections up to about halfway through "Planning - Part 1". I'll finish this later, along with some more general comments on the chapter as a whole.

--------

The higher level dark arts while emotionally charged, require a certain amount of visualization. // "dark arts, while emotionally..."

Minor consistency thing, but:
he snapped his wand across his body and said, “Vicero.”
Jabbing his wand forward, he snapped out, “Vicero.”
Same spell, two different descriptions.

The cut down its torso split open and the skin // "open, and"

Harry snapped, waiving the paper in front of Calypso's face. // waving (there were a couple other instances of the same typo. ctrl-f "waiv" should get them).

and did his best to appear unaffected by the school's reception to him. // 'reception of him', or alternatively, just 'reception.'

I couldn't believe the things that woman said about you and your parents. Anyone that's been around Mr. and Mrs. Potter know that they don't favor Nathan. // Two things here. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter" doesn't make sense after "your parents" immediately earlier. "Anyone that knows them" flows better. Also, "know" should be "knows".

Rita clearly exaggerated things a bit. // Here, and in the following paragraphs, Rita is referred to by first name. Wouldn't "Skeeter" be more normal? Malfoy, for example, is consistently refered to by last name in similar context.

“Calypso has agreed to 'talk' to her cousin about not involving himself with the press.” // One thing that was bugging me here, where the hell is Calypso for this conversation? A minute ago she was following Harry up to the castle, and then he gets there and she disappeared.

Nathan looked momentarily surprised, but quickly grinned widely. // There is a lot of people doing things quickly in your writing. 19 in this chapter alone. Some make sense, some, like this one, or "Harry quickly placed his dinner order", not so much. Consider going back through them. You tend to use "X-ly <verb>" a lot, which is probably fine in general, but it can get a bit jarring if you repeat one too often, or use them out of place.

A lot of what the other champions will find simple and easy, will be difficult for Nathan. That also means what will challenge the other champions, could easily kill Nathan. // Remove commas

“This is nice,” Calypso admitted. <1 sentence> ..“Never would have pegged Viktor as the romantic type,” Calypso admitted. // Consider changing one of the instances of "admitted" here.

“Viktor's a pretty complex guy.” Harry grinned. “He'll probably end up mastering Aqua Eructo before both of us.” // The comment about Aqua Eructo is a bit of a non-sequitur here. I get that you wanted to segue into talking about the final projects, but it feels a little heavy handed.

Have you heard back from Professor Kosarev? // This is minor, but I don't actually know anyone who refers to professors as "Professor X" in normal conversation. Most people just refer to them by last name unless you are actually addressing them, at least in my experience.

Before he could go anyway, Viktor had reached out and grabbed his arm. // I think you meant to use "anywhere" here. Also, I believe "had reached" should just be "reached".

The only thing I could think of when I saw the things were to shoot it in the eye!” // "were" should be "was".

Harry simply waived Calypso off // "waved"

 

IIRC it's confirmed that Peter is alive after Harry and Sirius return from the Quidditch game in Paris. Unless this conversation has been cut from the story, if so sorry.
Already said by someone else.

 

I wonder what Rita will end up doing to Harry and co. I guess it really depends on whether she was present in the castle or not. She certainly will be inflaming tensions between Kira and Calypso, since she knows Calypso hopes Kira breaks up with Krum.

If she heard about Calypso saying she would curse Malfoy, I fully expect her to report it as Harry dating a Dark witch and being evil, which might alienate him from many people. Also, the fact that not all Rosiers are dead will certainly interest certain people, and I actually expect Rita to be a huge thorn in Harry's and Calypso's side this year.

 

It's going to be epic to see Dumbledore's reaction to the existence of the Rosiers. And to Harry dating one. The old man has kept his cool for a while now, but would this be where he puts his foot down?

 

If he did, he'd be very different from canon Dumbledore, who's happy to let people make mistakes (or not) and get second chances unless they're named Tom Riddle.

 

Huh? I was always under the impression that the whole Voldemort thing came to be because Albus did nothing to stop Tom even though he knew (suspected strongly) some of what he was doing.

Rather, he gave Tom too many chances and allowed him too many mistakes, not the opposite.

 

Well, considering parallels are being drawn between Harry Potter and both Grindelwald and Voldemort, I'd say there's a real chance that he won't be so happy.

 

That's why he no longer gives chances to Riddle. On the other hand, look at the Death Eaters. Draco purely by luck avoids killing a classmate and a professor, yet Dumbledore is happy to do nothing. Death Eaters bribe they way out of Azkaban - AD does nothing. Fudge makes mistakes (some illegally at that) that cost lives - AD doesn't interfere. Umbridge tortures students - nope. Hell, even Sirius trying to sic a werewolf on Snape should warrant some action, yet, once again, AD does nothing. In Wizarding World might makes right, but Dumbledore is so scared of his own power that he sometimes refuses to act even when absolutely necessary.

You might be right on that, but Harry has a loving family and it's clear that he's more than capable of love, something Dumbledore values a great deal. If anything, I'd wager that he'll continue to push Harry in the "right" direction when strictly necessary, just like he did by allowing him to go to Durmstrang or making him try to be a champion, since so far this has been a successful strategy. Nothing more than words and creating opportunities to choose rightly though.

 

I wouldn't say he's anything like Riddle. Riddle didn't want friends, he didn't care about anyone but himself. This Harry cares deeply for his family and his friends, it's one of the stories main themes. The only similarities between Riddle and Harry is that they both are fascinated by dark magic and they both are brilliant.

I guess you could compare this Harry and Grindelwald but we don't really know that much about canon Grindelwald's personality.


As for the major death (s) at the end of this year? My money's on Calypso killing her father for Harry. Also wouldn't be shocked to se Sirius die, that could really throw Harry off the deep end.

 

Is Mr Rosier an actually marked death eater? If he is, then he would be summoned to the graveyard. THe knowledge of his daughter cosying up to Harry, might either make tom happy or angry. Does he truly think he can somehow convince NAthan to join him, when he plans on killing nathan?

SAy rosier was killed, who would be Calypso's guardian, imagine if it was the malfoys? Harry could claim that rosier was negotiating a contract with him for calypso, use that as a basis to get his parents to look after her. THe argument about him being a death eater, harry can say that snape is a death eater and lily is friends with him.

I am trying to think of a way for harry to end up at the graveyard as well as, or instead of nathan? I can imagine him unleashing the dark arts to deal with multiple death eaters. He might not know the fiend fyre spell, yet, but even a partially controlled aqua eructo spell, could really mess with death eaters enough to get himself away. We know if pushed into a corner, harry will use dark arts. I can definitly see harry using dark magic to protect his parents and his own twin.

I always thought that fiend fyre should have been able to destroy dementors. SAy it can suppress heat, light or even flame, then it might be able to deal with fiend fyre, but if htere was an ice/water version of the spell, it could contain or even destroy them. A dementor is not much of a threat trapped in a solid block of ice. finding ways to deal with dementors would be a great dark arts project.
Werewolves would also be a great dark arts project, ways to deal, control or influence them would be awesome. and it would be a project he can share with his parents, as he could frame it as a way to help remus.
We know warding can be used to target specific criteria, so why not the dark mark. THat would be very useful in the war. his warding project aimed at protecting his family.

 

I agree that with regards to relationships, Harry and Riddle are very different, but the fact that they are both drawn to dark magic, both incredibly talented is what is standing out to people like Snape, who's also connecting the dots between the way they are both using their magic. This is why I think within the context of the characters, there would be definite parallels, because it'd be hard for Dumbledore to understand this Harry as well as we do and understand he's still good.

I agree with your idea of Calypso's dad, or Sirius - I personally feel as if it will be her dad more so due to the fact that it would make more sense, as he's always looming over both her and Harry whilst Sirius is more just the fun uncle that helps Harry, and I can't think of any situation in this tournament where he'd be killed.

 

Calypso's dad still hasn't has his plot arc come to a conclusion. We still don't know his motives. I think we can be reasonably certain that he's not benevolent, but we can't say that he's had his time in the spotlight to the degree that the early mysteries of the story (why does he want to know so much about Nathan?) have been answered.

I guess Calypso could answer that, but that seems like a copout. He has more potential as a constant shadowy quasi-antagonist/mentor than as a mere obstacle for Calypso's friendship/relationship with Harry.

 

I was wondering something earlier. If the Potters wanted to pull Harry out of Durmstrang while Harry is actually inside the Institute and he refuses to leave, could they do anything?

I don't think the Ministry has any jurisdiction there.

On a side-note, someone mentioned earlier about the possibility of Karkaroff
dying or fleeing. Could Rosier become the new headmaster then?

 

I think that should depend on just HOW they choose the highmaster.

 

Is this the first time Calypso's full name has been mentioned at Hogwarts? It would explain the intended nature of Rita's next article.