Harry Potter practicing Dark Magic by Day and fucking Death Eaters by Night, all the time conspiring to kill his brother? Excellent. Sign me up.

 

I wish we could read these articles though. Maybe Santi plans on adding them in later on?

 

I agree with naidrodro. I also think that Rita write about Calypso, but she will not stop on the assumption that Calipso is the posthumous daughter of Evan Rosier, but she discovers who Calypso is the daughter of Romulus Rosier, who is still alive and is the current Dark Arts teacher Durmstrang.

As for who might die during the end of 4th year, I have several assumptions:

- Rita Skeeter, when someone crushes (accidentally or intentionally) her while she is in her Animagus form.
- Draco Malfoy, when any retaliatory action led by Calypso and/or Harry gets out of hand.
- Igor Karkaroff, when he is punished by the Dark Lord. This possible death could trigger Romulus Rosier as the new director of Durmstrang, making public his true state.
- Kira Megara, when any retaliatory action led by Calypso and/or Harry gets out of hand.
- Lily Potter. Perhaps her death is caused by some carelessness performed by James during the chaos caused at the end of the third task of the Triwizard Tournament, causing Harry to blame his father by the death of his mother, causing a total departure between Harry and James. This would cause a progressive approach for Harry to Snape, who perfectly understand and share that viewpoint. It could also break the fraternal feeling between the Potter twins, if Nathan supports his father.
- Barty Crouch Jr, when Harry kills him for save his twin.
- Hermione Granger, when Kira kills her out of jealousy.

 

I wonder what's going to happen when (maybe if) Voldemort gets resurrected. Karkaroff will try to flee and I expect him to be caught like in canon, but will he also rat Rosier Snr. (if he isn't already found) out like he did in the past with the other Death Eaters? Voldemort undoubtedly knows about Harry's relationship with Calypso (and his potential) and he has already shown an interest. So I wonder, will Voldemort pressure Romulus to arrange a meenting with Harry and would Rosier give in under threat of possible harm to Calypso?

 

I think that Krun will be the one to be killed instead of Cedric.
And this because he is the only character whose death wouldn't derail the plot.

If Rosier senior is killed now, we lose an in on Voldemort crew in Durstrang, reducing his effects on Harry's tale.

Now, if Krun is killed, Harry will have problens in his school, to mirror the problens of his brother, as the other students would believe that his brother killed with our without his help tneir chanpion...

This would increse Harry's segregation as he would onky have Calipso for company, allowing for an increase in his Dark Arts studies.

 

If they were going to pull him out of Durmstrang they'd have to do it while he's still at Hogwarts. It's the only scenario that will work. Alas, Santi has said that 5th year focuses on Calypso/Harry so I assume he'll be back at Durmstrang.

Why would KruM's death cause problems for Harry at school? KruM is in his final year at Durmstrang so his death would have almost no effect on his life at Durmstrang. Krum acts as the moral center of the trio, he keeps Harry grounded. He could be killed, but I don't think that's going to happen this year.

On a side note; are we just assuming Harry will become a Dark Lord? The summary merely says:

The phrase "Dark Wizard" is subjective. As of right now, while he's definitely going "darker" he doesn't seem to be going down the path of a young Dark Lord. Grindelwald had "The Greater Good" and the belief that Wizards should dominate Muggles "for their own good." Tom Riddle really just wanted to rule as a King while masquerading under the guise of "pureblood superiority." So far we don't really know Harry's beliefs.

 

Rereading of the fic's summary makes me doubt that Santi will ever break Harry's connection with his family. It suggests that it's about him becoming a dark wizard despite having a good relationship with his loved ones. Which is why I suspect for now most people important to him are safe. It will not be a personal tragedy that will motivate him to push even further into what's forbidden in magic, but his own desire to learn everything.

If Harry ever leaves his family, probably because of their different opinion about dark magic, I expect it to be his decision and his parent will be asking him to stay, in a reverse of what usually happens in similar fics where they tell him to get out.

 

It would probably still throw him off and harm him mentaly.

 

Question: Has anyone considered the possibility that GRINDELWALD might be the one to die?

 

Probably not many, but it's not like it would matter at all to Harry. Unless it would be a setup for portrait!mentor!Grindelwald.

Joking aside, Harry could use a teacher of this caliber in near future and Gellert was quite awesome in his short appearance in this fic. Their interaction would be pure gold, especially with all shocking revelations about Albus' past, but right now nothing suggest that this may happen.

 

I second using Grindelwald as a mentor.

 

The fic's status is still listed as abandoned in the OP.

 

I don't get that dark lordish, evilish Harry Potter talk. He is not a sociopath like Voldemort and he definitely is not a racist anti-muggle guy like Grindelwald. He even doesn't consider taking over the world. He is "dark" but what exactly does it entail? He uses dark magic and it is not like

. Harry uses magic that requires certain intent and emotional state. In canon Snape uses it and turns out to be a decent if rather petty guy. Slughorn knew it, we do not know if he used it. Aurors were permited to use it when Barty Crouch Sr. was the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. If Durmstrang is one of the largest wizarding schools of Europe and it teaches dark magic, than we have quite a considerable portion of European magical society that have at least certain knowledge and practice in using dark arts. So what's the big deal?

Then what exactly Harry is? I suppose that one could describe him as a sort of elitist. He has got a rather low level of tolerance for laziness, ignorance and plane stupidity (hence his dislike for certain Weasel). I'd describe him as an academic elitist and to prove that here is the quote:

Come to think o it, when we consider world order, Harry probably would go for meritocracy.

 

I also seconded that idea. His first appearance was great and I would look very favorably his return to this story, and the idea that he might become, somehow, a mentor to Harry would be fantastic.


As for the possible political philosophy that could lead a Dark Lord Harry, I agree with Hesser: he would lead a wizarding regime based on meritocracy that would eliminate stupidity through very strong punishments

 

More typos and stuff through the end of the chapter.


Swallowing slightly, Harry had to use Occlumency to keep the image of Kira out of his head. Hoping to distract his girlfriend slightly // repeat use of "slightly". I would change/remove one instance.

Your first instinct to just attack it, might not have been a bad one, Viktor. // remove first comma

“So you want to send the dragon into a panicking rage?” Harry agreed incredulously. // I don't think "agreed" is what you wanted here.

Viktor, let’s going outside, I have an idea // going -> go

Harry rolled over in his bed, a groan of protest at the light that was entering through the small porthole. // Missing a word here somewhere. Either "with a groan" or "groaning in protest".

Groaning at the time, Harry quickly put on some everyday robes // Repeat use of "groan" within 2 sentences. I would change one instance, probably this one.

He had been up late not only working helping Viktor // 'working to help'

Frantically, Harry looked for anyone that might be in his brother's year and know where he is. // is -> was

I already have a plan how to get past it. // remove "how"

“No, he has to take something the dragon is guarding,” Harry, corrected the girl. // remove last comma

“Now, let me ask you this Hermione, are dragons traditionally used to guard treasure?”
Hermione frowned. “Well, they are notoriously independent creatures. They're likely to kill anyone, even the person to whom the treasure belongs.” // The answer reads more like the question was "Why aren't..." here.

You didn't think they would just throw you into a pit against a dragon and say 'okay, go to it?' // Doesn't the ? go outside the quotes here?

but he couldn't let him take the task to easily either. // too

“So, what is your plan?” Hermione asked, her curiosity peaked. // piqued

Harry muttered, walking out from the staircase into a large private stands overlooking the Quidditch pitch. // stand

“Those are just rumors, Amos,” James waived the man off. // waved

Dumbledore’s enchanted voice came from the Judges stands. // Judges'

It took several blasts of fireworks from Dumbledores wand before they quieted again // Dumbledore's

The crowd cheered wildly, something that Harry observed, seemed... // something that, Harry observed, seemed...

Immediately, the dragon handlers stormed into the range, firing stunners at the enraged dragon. // Why not "into the arena"?

Dumbledore said, causing the girl to smile, curtsey and walk back into the medical tend. // tent

and fired off a very weak Conjunctivitis Curse. // You have a consistency issue with capitalizing "curse" in this context (similarly with "charm"). I think most times you don't, and this is the odd one out.

Immediately lowering his wand, a massive screech was heard. // The clause at the beginning reads like it wants a sentence like, "Lowering his wand, Viktor did blah", rather than "lowering his wand, a screech etc...". I would change to something like, "Viktor immediately lowered his wand, and a massive screech etc...", or ", and the bird let out a massive screech...".

and not like he just out walked into a dragon nest. // remove "out"

... as Viktor gave a final waive to the crowd before... // wave

however, she was unprepared for the massive outpouring of jeers she received from all around the stadium.
...
Everyone in the stadium seemed to cheer... // There is a bit of an inconsistency in the tone of your narration. The first sentence here is an omniscient narrator, giving insight directly inside a characters thoughts, while in the 2nd, "seemed" implies non-omniscience. I think the main issue is that you use "X seemed to do Y" a lot, where it's not really necessary. I would go through those sentences and remove "seemed" wherever it's not really necessary, e.g. "Calypso seemed to shrug in an unconcerned manner." -> "Calypso shrugged in...". It doesn't really change the sentence, but it gives a more consistent tone to your narration.

and she grabbed her husband's hand squeezing it tightly. // hand, squeezing...

Harry could recognize a poor attempt at the disillusionment charm and a weak notice me not charm. // Notice-Me-Not (going by other occurences). And not sure if you want to capitalize "disillusionment" here or not.

causing it to turn and rabidly attack the judges stands. // judges' stands. Also, earlier you capitalized "judges" in this same situation.

dozens of stunners struck the raging horntail // Consistency issue: you capitalized "horntail" in this context about half the time.

That's all it took for the three Potters to race out of the box. // That was... (verb tense issue)

and Harry already thought the youngest Weasley would prove to be a problem. // 2nd youngest? iirc Harry met Ginny in an earlier chapter, so it shouldn't be a mistake on his part.

provide insights as to what you can do better, they're not there to hold our hands. // better. They're...

Calypso and I don't want them to see our final project ideas // "them" should be "the other students" here. No previous mention of them in this converstation.

Hermione seemed to take a few steps forward before she shook her head violently. // See previous comment re: seemed.

Another hundred feet and she would have made it past the Notice-Me-Not Charms. // See previous comments about caps

Viktor mentioned that they're having a dance over holiday to celebrate the tournament. // over the holiday(s)

He'd just spent the better part of an hour working with Calypso on the Aqua Eructo charm // caps on "charm" (or not, whatever you decide to go with).

Harry pulled the small tome from the shelf, and went to check it out with Madam Pince. // no comma

almost be done with Divination, thanks again for you help, Viktor.” // your help

Viktor waived Harry's concern off. // waved

His heart beat faster than ever before. // Given that this is the start of a new section, shouldn't it be "Harry's heart..."

Harry reached out laid a chaste kiss on her cheek, she looked stunning, beautiful. // out and laid... cheek. She...

The entire hall seemed to have a winter theme // seemed (I would remove, as per previous comments)

while the large individual house table had been removed and replaced with smaller individual tables. // house tables. Also you used "individual" twice, I would remove the 2nd instance.

before carefully casting a Notice-Me-Not charm around them // consistency check (see above).

Viktor and Kira leading the way, followed closely by Fleur, Cedric, and Nathan. // I had assumed they would walk out in order of the rankings?

Harry could see Nathan calm down as he got lost in the routine for the Walz while Viktor // Waltz, while...

matching icy expressions on their face as they looked at Theodore Nott and a dark haired girl. // faces

“Kira looks murderous,” Calypso practically sang. ... “Left,” Calypso practically sang. // Consider rewording one of these.

 

Harry = Anakin. Nuff said. That's how he's gonna end up joining the dark side.

 

I have a feeling its more along the lines of Harry = Itachi. I find the thought of him joining Voldemort to spy on him more likely than him actually going full dark lord.

 

I wonder is grindlewatd might have hidden his copy of the grimmoire or a portraight to activate some day. I love the idea of harry being influenced by gelbert, but i just dont see a way of it being done by the man himself. He managed to enchant a room and sign in durmstrug to remain the same, so it is possible he hid other stuff here.

I wonder how much did gelbert know of the potters, did he know htey are descendants of pervelle, that they were the owners of the cloak? There was a reason why gelbeert was interested in godric hollow.

I wonder if voldemort ever wrote his own grimmorie, it might have been his diary. A tome of secrets, filled with his greatest works, would certainly match his ego. I wonder if he had his own library or something, for reference texts and complimentory reading.

while i like the idea of infiltrating the death eaters, how on earth could he convince tom, that he would betray him own twin brother and family. Every pureblood would doubt him, and he does have a muggleborn for a mother. I do see him going into the dark arts to find ways to protect his family and twin. SAy spells to deal with dementors, werewolves and inferi. SAy there is going to be an epic battle of hogwarts at some point, i imagine him unleashing dark magic and really making the death eaters pay for their crimes. They think themselves so big and bad, time to meet a true master of the dark arts.

Do we know why apart from the patronus, there is nearly no such thing as light arts? It would be cool if it was something harry helped to create.

We know he has kreature sneak books from the black library, anyway he can get dobby to sneak him the malfoy library or borrow his stuff.

 

I like Gellert in this story.

I also like Harry unconsciously paralleling Grindelwald far more than I'd enjoy the latter suddenly turning up in a mentor role. Harry doesn't need one of those, he's not a Sith apprentice or something. Besides, he probably heavily dislikes the old man.