How many school kids take field trips to Leavenworth? Further more, how many school kids, upon arriving at Leavenworth just happen to wander into the maximum security wing?

Lets leave this train of thought, its retarded beyond belief.

 

It isn't entirely impossible. In 10th grade my class went on a trip to Camden County Prison and got to listen to some inmates talk about the mistakes they made. It was one of the more . . . surreal trips I'd been on.

But yeah, it's a bad idea. Like I said, it was all I could think of >_>

Edit: lol, this article also proves that it's a dumb idea link

 

Clichés don't sound odd, they just sound generic and overused. I guess I just don't like the "Forename Middle name Surname!!1!", hands-on-hips moments. She also threatens to bring his father in - why, because she somehow lacks authority herself?

To me it just reads like a way out of doing good characterisation. I understand how a mother would discourage gambling, but Lily isn't being very subtle about it. I just imagined her as a smarter, more insightful parent. In the end it's not major criticism, I don't wish to make a big deal out of it.

 

There's no evidence in canon that Grindelwad ever made a horcrux. Dumbledore also says that he felt remorse(which allows you to take back the piece of soul in the horcrux), so he might have "reabsorbed" his horcrux, if he made one. 'Course this is AU, so Santi can do whatever he wants.

Awesome update. I just wish there was more to go on. Also, the animosity between Snape, James, and Sirius seems too elongated. It's been decades, so it's difficult to imagine them still hating each other, especially with Lily as a moderator.

 

Sirius nearly fed him to a werewolf. Hot childhood friend or not as a moderator, I'd find it hard to forgive that kinda shit.

 

OK I have a few points to add.........

About the gambling issue. It makes sense that Lily would be upset for two reasons. 1 he didn't tell her, and 2 he's gambling huge amounts of money. I would have no qualms with letting my kids gamble provided that 1 I do it for them, and 2 it's not a big amount. Seriously, there's no harm in betting a buck or so just to make the game more interesting. While I'm on the subject, I will say I hope you don't use the "gambling is evil" cliche mentioned above to give justification for Lily and James to turn him on, i.e. "he was bad from the start."

Then there's this scene:

"So it was only the one time?" Lily clarified, softening her tone somewhat.

Harry shuffled his feet and looked down at the ground. "Um, well, Viktor's played two games, so I bet both times."

No pre-teen kid in their right mind would admit to this if there was a chance he could avoid it and lessen the trouble he was in. There are exceptions, I know, but my general consensus seems to place them at about 1 out of every 10, so these are few and far in between. Especially since Harry is starting to become "rebellious" as the Santi wrote so this scene seems out of character. Nothing big, I know, but I still thought it was something worth mentioning.....

Ditto about the Horcrux. Like TGoP said, there's no evidence in canon to suggest Grindelwald ever even having thought about making a Horcrux, so moving on!

It's "Hollow," not "Hallow."

Finally, Harry himself. When Snape explained how Occlumency works and it's relation to Legilimency, Harry's reaction left me a little confused. He doesn't even consider that Calypso, the one who mentioned it to him in the first place, could be using it on him. I guess Harry really does fit under the trope category of "Book Dumb." This isn't a big deal, so I won't let it drag on, just giving you all some food for thought. However, I do hope if it IS revealed she is using Legilimency on him that he doesn't just skirt the issue aside and drop it with little or no hesitation. This is after all a very serious breach of privacy and should be addressed accordingly.

I guess that's it.

 

Not to mention most of the good TV is American so these clichés just kinda stick over time.

So goes the world.

As for James/Snape/Sirius- I thought James had changed quite a bit from when he was a child; this was supposedly a prerequisite for him and Lily getting together. Not to mention he saved Snape from Lupin and as a result incurred a life-debt.

I could understand the animosity still lingerining though- James'll always be the asshole that made school hell, embarrassed the guy and took the girl of his dreams in the end- a guy that he also owes a life debt to. Damn.. FSL (Fuck Snape's Life)

 

Especially when it was because of James' best friend stupidity that get him to situation that ended for Snape with life debt. I can see why he don't like them both very much even after so many years.

Then it's good we are talking about fanon. But Gellert's Horcrux aside, I just think that Harry needs some adventure on his own before 4th year.

 

I agree too and I'm sure Santi will fill in those holes in his own way. Of course he may still decide to use your "secret room" idea (who knows) but I doubt he'll use the Horcrux idea. Why would he? Grindelwald wanted the Hallows, not Hocruxes, and I doubt he'd've had an opportunity to get them. Besides, it's the whole point: The Hallows are not as Dark as a Horcrux, they require no murder. Just pondering.

 

Pfft. I'll keep reading this, because this is one of the few stories that doesn't require an awesome main character and a deep, intriguing plot to keep itself moving. Harry is learning about the world around him, and Santi keeps writing it to be interesting, and that's really all it needs for discussion. Of course, overarching plots do help, since this isn't one of those 'day-by-day' stories.

Since I'm feeling nitpicky, I will point out that Lily seems to lose a bit of tact near the end(or Snape doesn't hate Lupin as much as I though); when she called Snape's bluff, Lupin was still in the room. This shouldn't be a problem, except she had known this the whole time and would reasonably want to bring it up only when alone with him. Not a big thing at all, but it just felt a little odd when I read that.

 

The murder part isn't why Grindelwald and hocruxes don't go together. He was a dark lord after all. It probably has more to do with the soul-splitting thing. Only Voldemort is crazy enough to do that shit...and drink unicorn blood.

 

Ok, just drop the idea about Grindelwald and his potential horcrux. That is so fucking retarded that I felt a serious need to facepalm when I read over all the posts discussing it.

I'm sure The Santi has ideas in mind for what direction he wants to take the story and for plots for Harry's next year. No need to put forth recyclingbin!ideas and discuss them at length.

 

Honestly, shouldn't Harry be a little more suspicious about the chance of Calypso using Legilimency on him?

I mean, since Harry knows her personality, and that he knows she knows about Mind related magics, would it really be a longshot to have the suspecion of her knowing Occulmency? Also, how did she know Harry didn't know Occulmency, without performing Legilimency on him?

 

In this story, the adult Potters are portrayed as very by-the-book, strait-laced, not too knowledgeable, Dumbledore-is-always-right folk. Kinda like a version of fanon Weasleys. They don't know some magics and old customs the purebloods know, study and follow, and they don't approve of their children making independent decisions about their lives. I imagine a muggle Lily Potter telling her son he can be either a doctor or a lawyer.

 

This is what I was talking about. It really almost feels like Harry is being deliberately stupid when the plot calls for it.

In my opinion, if he's ever going to be an infamous Dark Lord he's going to need to learn to figure things out for himself besides magical theory and academic subjects...........

 

Keep in mind that Harry hasn't had much time to reflect on this. Snape interrupted his thoughts almost immediately and then he was focused on clearing and defending his mind. At the end of the section he was eavesdropping on his mom and Snape's conversation.

I'm sure the thought will occur to him after he's had a few minutes to reflect on it.

 

Wouldn't he have noticed? Santi made it clear that the spell would be needed for anything more then finding out "surface feeling and intentions", and that was only for the "truly exceptional Legilimens".

If Calypso is even capable of Legilimency she would have to be proficent at it at a level near Albus' for her to gather information from Harry without him noticing.

 

I agree with you that it's stupid Harry doesn't suspect Calypso of using Legilmency but as to your question on how would she know about him not knowing occulmency, it's a educated guess, it's a rare form of magic with very few books on the subject. So unless she had on good authority that Dumbledore taught Harry the art at a young age she could be confident that he didn't know occulmency.