Title: Harry Potter and the Darkness Within
Author: dellacouer
Rating: T
Category: Angst/Action/Adventure
Summary: Alternate 6th year. Feeling lost in the truth of the Prophesy and Sirius's death, Harry becomes convinced that his battle with Voldemort will end his life. But vows to take Voldemort with him. He fails. Travels to AU.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2516417/1/

This is absolutely one of the best HP stories I have read. Well written with good language and an interesting plot.

Checked by Minion, August 12, 2013
Dead link is dead. If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.

 

I've been following this story for some time now.

Harry's characterisation, interesting subplot about Ron & Hermione and writting style are it's upsides. Also, making Harry more powerful by training hard, while still staying very true to the canon is always commendable.

I didn't like slightly clished and generally "nothing sprecial" plot (including standardized meet the parents bit). There is simply nothing unique about this story, nothing to make you say: "Oh, it's that story with...". Still, nice writting generally covers this downside. Also, it's too angsty for my taste, but that's probably just me...

Generally, story was quite interesting and it became even more interesting after the time-travel thing. Worth reading.

 

I maybe shouldn't have said interesting plot. Better would have been interesting story as the general plot is a lot like some other stories.

But I like how Harry is portrayed.

 

This has finally been updated. Still a great story, even if the author did phoenix animagus thing and wandless magic by fusing the wand.

So, the main problem remains unoriginality, but excellent writing still covers for it rather nicely IMO.

 

Something about the writing style is making it really hard for me to keep going. I keep trying to read this all the way through and get stuck a little after he fixes their memory of him. I can't reconcile his actions and how he is thinking.

 

It's funny because for me there was an immediate thing I thought for "Oh, it's that story with..." because it'd been so long, I just gave it a quick re-read from the start. And just a few paragraphs into the first chapter my mind thought, "Oh it's that story with the potion/magic that makes Ron and Hermy forget Harry's their best friend. And then the apparition tent, power of will, new world stuff." Most all of the other stuff pretty much fell in line as typical (phoenix animagus which was learned really fast? wandless magic with wand fused in arm? meh). But I did have that moment of recollection as I started to re-read it.

Enjoyable fic. Something about the writing sort of keeps me from loving it. Some spelling and grammar mistakes will bug others more than me, but even still... without anything glaringly bad about this, it's still not quite hooked me in to loving it and heartily recommending it. But we're 80 thousand words into it, and I want more, so it's definitely got some stuff going for it.

 

You're right, the thing with Ron & Hermione WAS rather orriginal, but it never quite registered with me... probably because I trained myself to forget anything to do with those two.

 

This story, while well written, I could not really get into.

Not a big fan of Angst and I got to around chapter 5 and it seemed never-ending. Does he actually get out of the Angst mode later in the fic? If so then I can trudge on through.

 

^^ I kinda agree with you. I like this story a lot and since it's classified as being Angsty, one would expect that to be the case, but like you I too feel that it's being dragged. I mean the story really moved fast till Harry landed in the alternative dimension, but once he got there, it seems to have froze. I wish there was a chapter on Ron and Hermione's reactions back in the old dimension and how others react. Hopefully some of these concerns would be addressed in the next update

 

i like this one as well but you cant call it the best

 

Smiles. Wow, I didn't know this was here. I can't believe people are talking about this fic. I wrote it a few years ago as my first fanfiction, and I'm still working on it. (as I don't believe in abandoning fics, far too many out there already)

But it has been difficult sometimes to get my ideas straight. I've learned my lesson, strict outlines now. But I've appreciated reading all your comments. Its hard to get honest feedback. You can't ask the people you know, they're far to biased, and reviewers always seem nervous about hurting my feelings. (what feelings they got beaten out of my long ago, if you want to write you have to take it.)

So Thanks, I'm glad I found this forum. And don't you people take it easy on me. Smiles.

Della

 

Chapter one was a bit painful to read with the grammar errors, but I thoroughly enjoyed it after that.

 

For once, I'm not going to bitch about being an auto-fail necrofag who likes horse dick. Never got around to this one, so thanks for the find.

 

My thoughts exactly.
It seems that the author has given up on his/her decision to not abandon stories >.>

 

I agree, this one was pretty good, and I only found it due to necro-ing. I guess that's why its allowed in the library, huh?

Too bad its abandoned.

-Kevin

 

Hmm, this thing’s from 05 and I think I tried to read it back then. I had different standards then so I might have enjoyed it, can’t say I remember though.

​

Straight of the bat, the first thing that comes to mind is: damn that’s a lot of text. The Paragraphs in this Story are on the large and long side. That will make it harder and more sluggish to read, but I’ve seen worse. ​

Given that this Story is hardly going to see a shake up or a rewrite, comments on what to fix might seem a little retarded, so I’ll keep most of those to myself. However, I can’t help thinking that this would have been such a nicer read if the format was cleaner.​

There are quite a few cliché’s appearing readily in the beginning, though when this story was written they might have been considered new ideas. I do cringe slightly at Harry learning magic “that surpassed any Hogwarts lesson” in a week or two’s time; especially, as he shouldn’t have been able to actually practise. ​

The thinking about Sirius is actually very good. It’s a shame that not more authors followed the same logic. The Interaction between the Dursleys and Dumbledore on the other hand, I’m relieved I haven’t seen more of. ​

The letters bug me though and I know it’s a little thing but it just pisses me off, when an Author can’t be bothered to even Italic the letters. ​

The much vaunted “let’s blame Voldemort Harry!” that was seen a lot back then, and in some cases still is today, is in full swing here. I scrolled most of it, naturally. Further down I find myself rolling my eyes more often than not as Snape enters the story. I also scrolled everything related to Ron and Hermione; I’m not even slightly interested in anything they have to share.​

All the professors calling Harry by his first name, is quite irksome and the story is already starting to lose my interest. Things are simply too easy for Harry. The Phoenix thing has been commented on previously I’ll just add: Golden. Nuff said.

​

The story just can’t hold me. It’s too drab and meaningless. The small things that irk me get me full blown pissed as they continue and multiply. I can’t continue reading this; perhaps my taste has just become too refined over the years. ​

2.3/5 from me. Others might like it, but I find myself frowning and scrolling too often to enjoy this.

​

 

message from the author

Was a little surprised at some of the comments. Honestly, I've sort of come to hate the story. I find the gnawing errors and and some of the sudden leaps of plot annoying. Perhaps the only thing I still like about the idea, was that originally I set out to write a AU fic that didn't have Harry almost immediately venturing to another world. That always seemed more than a bit contrived.

Maybe once I've decided not to hate it I'll finish it. Have another chapter finished, but once again, the sense of self loathing permeates the whole affair. When I noticed the link I was rather expecting some harshness, more than deserves it.

Maybe I'll just delete it and correct the entire thing. Perhaps thats the more logical step.

 

Oh hell no! I actually find this one a bit interesting, which is rare enough these days. Correct it if you find it necessary, but don't delete it. Oh, and before you do.....upload the next chapter. LOL