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WIP Harry Potter and the Den of Snakes by sunmoonandstars - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Sesc, Jun 23, 2019.

  1. haphnepls

    haphnepls Seventh Year

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    I agree with both this and what you've spoilered, but I'm more than willing to turn a blind eye on it because the rest of the plot is compelling enough, and some of the interactions between Slytherins are pure genius.

    I have a feeling that the author included those things (+Arthur subplot) in order to create a bigger rift between the sides, and made the setting more clear; meaning DE and their agenda, and OoTP and theirs.

    So while there are some weak points to the fic, the stronger ones overshadow them so much that at this point I don't actually care about the shortcomings of the story. Shrugs.
     
  2. Dark Lord Prongsie

    Dark Lord Prongsie First Year

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    Great story! I really hope it ends as Haphne. 4/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2021
  3. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    This updated last week. I tried to reread this fic during the summer. It was hard to suspend disbelief at the melodrama and how 1 dimensional James and some other characters were. If I compare this to On the Way to Greatness, the 1d characters and needless details in this series become glaring.

    But I don't mean to be too negative. I'm surprised at how well done parts of this story are in comparison to some of its other parts. It's the consistency, I guess. I'm happy to see this update. It's still entertaining and I'm still reading.

    Also wow, can't believe I've had an account here for 10 years.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2021
  4. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    This is the weirdest thing, yes. The Slytherin OCs are excellent, mostly full of nuance, so it's not as if the author isn't able to. Veronica, the Muggleborn Slytherin, probably is one of my favourite OCs ever and she needs more screentime. The failed relationship between Harry and Daphne -- which is a side plot -- casually beats most Harry/Daphne fics where that relationship is the point. Etc. pp.

    Perhaps it's a case of having locked yourself in early on -- the outset of the story is what it is, and there's little room left to fix it afterwards. And in some ways, it's a mirror-inverse of Canon, where all of Slytherin gets the 1D treatment. I like to think about it in this meta way, anyway.
     
  5. Vma791

    Vma791 Squib

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    Read this yesterday. Feels like POS with better pacing and writing. However, the plot is not... engaging enough for me. I felt like I was pushing myself through the first three books.
    The story didn't grab me until book five, and there's not enough content left now for me to get truly hooked
     
  6. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    @Sesc Interesting call-out about the Canon inversion.

    You're right that a good swathe of the other characters are multi-faceted. The biggest lack of nuance in the story, I think, is its treatment of Harry - he doesn't encounter meaningful difficulty. Bad things happen, but - and this is what makes On the Way to Greatness so great, that it does do this, he never seems/is vulnerable or not in control. He makes no mistakes. Or when he is outmaneuvered, no real consequences follow.
    For example, he's disowned, but then adopted and puts Thorne away.
    We just see him outplaying others and how clever he is. Although,I haven't read the whole fic in a while so I might be misremembering unfairly, and extrapolating the past few chapters to represent the entire story.

    I'm curious to see how the author handles
    the DOM
    . His decisions in the latest chapter could really take things south and have consequences for his friends and others and reverse this trend.
     
  7. Sowaka

    Sowaka Second Year

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    Seeing the fic discussed again, I gave it a partial reread. And yeah, I have the echo the sentiments above. James and overall the "Gryffindor side" are handled so cartoonishly. Especially at the start of year 4, with the trial and the justification James gives regarding Sirius. It almost felt like too much, fitting to some generic wanky dabfest fic instead.

    But the Slytherins are well done and the series is worth reading.

    That said, I'm not a fan of exchanges like:
    “Muggle-born?” Theo said, eyeing her.
    Butler nodded, expression placid and unconcerned.
    “Good job,” Daphne said. “That’s quite a mask for your age.”

    and all this openly talked-about Slytherin manners and "Slytherin mask" stuff. Yeah, Gryffindors are portrayed as rowdy, mannerless idiots, but that doesn't make "Slytherin masks" less cringe.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2021
  8. DvorkaM

    DvorkaM Squib

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    I have just finished the story, and it leaves me confused, there is so many reasons not to like it and yet I couldn’t put it down.
    Half of adult characters are just silly, with Ethan, James and by the end (to me) Andromeda spearheading the “he is dark snake, you can’t trust him” trope to a comical degree. It is a grotesque kind of fanatism and it sticks out in a story where generaly the motivations are reasoned and established. I assumed there was a reason for this, but after hospital scene with Ethan, I am afraid there is not. They really may be this shallow.

    Similarilly, I find jarring, how despite Harry being essentially an OC, and lots of things changing, so many plot points from the original execute in the exactly the same manner, thankfully as the book continue, this changes and by book 3 the divergences made it up to me.
    Maybe it is that simple, for every weak part, there are two good parts that make it up. Because this is a good story, where even smallest B plots tend to lead in interesting directions. If you can make it half way through book 3, I think you will enjoy yourself.
     
  9. point09micron

    point09micron Groundskeeper

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  10. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    The updates were awesome. Big fan of the action and plot advancement.

    Couldn’t give less of a shit about the slytherin commune pseudo family they’re building at Grimmauld place, though. Find it pointless and odd sentimental masturbation on the part of the author that’s taking the story nowhere. No real conflict there, just sap, showboating and bashing.

    Also, less boring but find it hard to care about the dynamic between Harry and Neville. The exciting stuff here is Harry’s growth curve, Harry vs Jules, Harry vs Dumbledore, Harry vs himself, Harry vs (? voldemort?), and so on.

    Overall good stuff, excited to see the 6th year through. Good season for slytherin harry updates between this and Black Luminary updating.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2021
  11. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    This has continued to update weekly on AO3. Now that we’re back at Hogwarts the plot seems to be moving forward. I’m excited to see what the author has in store for the year. It’s a good look that she’s had Jules also grow in skill.
     
  12. haphnepls

    haphnepls Seventh Year

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    Indeed, the prior chapters seemed somewhat slower than the usual Hogwarts pace I'm used to, and it's decent amount of chapters with little general idea of progression, but the way I see it, it's just bits of worldbuilding and setting the board, to say so.

    Writing is as sturdy as it's always been, with even sharper characters' traits and twists explored as they got a bit older. I was quite happy to see the younger lot introduced as their own people with their own characterizations, rather than blank pages of Harry's people they've mostly been so far.

    I appreciate that the author still manages to keep me invested after so many words, even if it's just that I want to se how this all ends. The only thing I find lacking is rounding up the subplots. I feel like the author has more skill in laying them out and making them complex, then in solving them in believable and satisfying manner.

    To be honest, this always was more of a guilty pleasure to me than anything else, but I still thing it's good story too, no mather the cliches from the very start, and somewhat shaky introduction. The author chose what they want to do, and they did it well, and that's all that matters at this point.

    With HP fandom being what it is currently, I'm happy enough that the story and characters are consistent and entertaining.
     
  13. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    The story has continued to update at a decent pace and finally broke up the playing house with plot development and action of real consequence. It feels like we've kicked off the rising action part of the story.

    On one hand, we have Harry vs Dumbledore, and on the other hand we have Harry vs Voldemort. The Harry vs Voldemort arc is starting to kick off, and I wonder how long it'll take to drive toward bigger conflict. It would make sense, since this is book 6, that we have the last bit of set up before the final "book" drives us through a ton of direct conflict that's been hinted at – a resolution of Harry vs Jules, figuring out Theo's arc, etc. All these subplots are woven through those two big conflicts. As much as the author wallows in AO3-typical angst and introspection, muddling pacing at times, they can deliver on plot progression and conflict, though intermittently.


    It's been engaging enough to keep reading.
     
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