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WIP Harry Potter and the Den of Snakes by sunmoonandstars - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Sesc, Jun 23, 2019.

  1. haphnepls

    haphnepls Fifth Year

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    I agree with both this and what you've spoilered, but I'm more than willing to turn a blind eye on it because the rest of the plot is compelling enough, and some of the interactions between Slytherins are pure genius.

    I have a feeling that the author included those things (+Arthur subplot) in order to create a bigger rift between the sides, and made the setting more clear; meaning DE and their agenda, and OoTP and theirs.

    So while there are some weak points to the fic, the stronger ones overshadow them so much that at this point I don't actually care about the shortcomings of the story. Shrugs.
     
  2. Prongsie2

    Prongsie2 First Year

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    Great story! I really hope it ends as Haphne. 4/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2021
  3. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    This updated last week. I tried to reread this fic during the summer. It was hard to suspend disbelief at the melodrama and how 1 dimensional James and some other characters were. If I compare this to On the Way to Greatness, the 1d characters and needless details in this series become glaring.

    But I don't mean to be too negative. I'm surprised at how well done parts of this story are in comparison to some of its other parts. It's the consistency, I guess. I'm happy to see this update. It's still entertaining and I'm still reading.

    Also wow, can't believe I've had an account here for 10 years.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2021
  4. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    This is the weirdest thing, yes. The Slytherin OCs are excellent, mostly full of nuance, so it's not as if the author isn't able to. Veronica, the Muggleborn Slytherin, probably is one of my favourite OCs ever and she needs more screentime. The failed relationship between Harry and Daphne -- which is a side plot -- casually beats most Harry/Daphne fics where that relationship is the point. Etc. pp.

    Perhaps it's a case of having locked yourself in early on -- the outset of the story is what it is, and there's little room left to fix it afterwards. And in some ways, it's a mirror-inverse of Canon, where all of Slytherin gets the 1D treatment. I like to think about it in this meta way, anyway.
     
  5. Vma791

    Vma791 Squib

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    Read this yesterday. Feels like POS with better pacing and writing. However, the plot is not... engaging enough for me. I felt like I was pushing myself through the first three books.
    The story didn't grab me until book five, and there's not enough content left now for me to get truly hooked
     
  6. Crash

    Crash Fourth Year

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    @Sesc Interesting call-out about the Canon inversion.

    You're right that a good swathe of the other characters are multi-faceted. The biggest lack of nuance in the story, I think, is its treatment of Harry - he doesn't encounter meaningful difficulty. Bad things happen, but - and this is what makes On the Way to Greatness so great, that it does do this, he never seems/is vulnerable or not in control. He makes no mistakes. Or when he is outmaneuvered, no real consequences follow.
    For example, he's disowned, but then adopted and puts Thorne away.
    We just see him outplaying others and how clever he is. Although,I haven't read the whole fic in a while so I might be misremembering unfairly, and extrapolating the past few chapters to represent the entire story.

    I'm curious to see how the author handles
    the DOM
    . His decisions in the latest chapter could really take things south and have consequences for his friends and others and reverse this trend.
     
  7. Sowaka

    Sowaka First Year

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    Seeing the fic discussed again, I gave it a partial reread. And yeah, I have the echo the sentiments above. James and overall the "Gryffindor side" are handled so cartoonishly. Especially at the start of year 4, with the trial and the justification James gives regarding Sirius. It almost felt like too much, fitting to some generic wanky dabfest fic instead.

    But the Slytherins are well done and the series is worth reading.

    That said, I'm not a fan of exchanges like:
    “Muggle-born?” Theo said, eyeing her.
    Butler nodded, expression placid and unconcerned.
    “Good job,” Daphne said. “That’s quite a mask for your age.”

    and all this openly talked-about Slytherin manners and "Slytherin mask" stuff. Yeah, Gryffindors are portrayed as rowdy, mannerless idiots, but that doesn't make "Slytherin masks" less cringe.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2021
  8. DvorkaM

    DvorkaM Muggle

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2015
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    3
    I have just finished the story, and it leaves me confused, there is so many reasons not to like it and yet I couldn’t put it down.
    Half of adult characters are just silly, with Ethan, James and by the end (to me) Andromeda spearheading the “he is dark snake, you can’t trust him” trope to a comical degree. It is a grotesque kind of fanatism and it sticks out in a story where generaly the motivations are reasoned and established. I assumed there was a reason for this, but after hospital scene with Ethan, I am afraid there is not. They really may be this shallow.

    Similarilly, I find jarring, how despite Harry being essentially an OC, and lots of things changing, so many plot points from the original execute in the exactly the same manner, thankfully as the book continue, this changes and by book 3 the divergences made it up to me.
    Maybe it is that simple, for every weak part, there are two good parts that make it up. Because this is a good story, where even smallest B plots tend to lead in interesting directions. If you can make it half way through book 3, I think you will enjoy yourself.
     
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