Nope that wouldn't work Harry's a bit smart for that here

 

For better or for worse, chapter 13 is up.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2869936/13/

I took some liberties with the intelligence of the sorting hat for Harry's sorting, mainly because I thought it would be a cool conversation. The sword thing is cliche, but I've always liked it, so I put it in.

I tried to keep Harry in character, in that he doesn't go around yelling and getting angry, but he doesn't take any shit either. I know some people were hoping for a big blowup with Dumbledore, but that's not Harry. He's calm, collected, and extremely paranoid, but one thing he's not is a hothead. Hopefully this is realistic for the reader given his past behavior.

So, I guess it's time to find out how many people really wanted Harry to be in Gryffindor and fall into his canon role. Hopefully, the story is interesting enough that even if they're dissapointed, they'll keep reading. Otherwise, well, fuck 'em I guess. It's all about that AU baby!

As for the Jack situation, I don't think he's a liability (yet) so much as he's just out of the picture. But again, I think that's realistic. Jack's 16 years old, with his own place, worrying about girls and, well, girls. I think it's realistic that Jack would tend to go about his own life rather than try to be involved with Row and Harry's, especially where they're really in a completely different world. That's not to say he'll just vanish, but I'm not going to manufacture some role for him in the magical world just because he was important before. I do have some plans for him in the future, and I think you'll approve, but it's not a for a while yet.

ip82 - I actually considered having Malfoy send someone to off Jack, but it didn't quite fit. Malfoy has enough power politically to get things done without risking something like that, and if he did send somebody out I'd have to invent some way for Harry to find the guy/solve the riddle, since they could make it look like an accident really easily. Also, having Malfoy use his political clout creates drama with Fudge and the ministry which could be fun later (I'm thinking something along the lines of "magical law supersedes muggle law"). Also, I think I'm going to need Jack for a particular scene later in the story, so he'll be around for a little while.

As always, your comments and ideas are much appreciated.

-the Jack

 

Frankly i wonder why you worry at all, given that most reviewers are usualy people that like different pairings, i think, or different things. and you did show some ron and hermione, so it's all good. I am slightly disappointed that harry wasn't strong enough not to obliviate hermione, but i guess we could see that coming. I really hope this isn't turning into a dark harry though, as he should have asked hermione first if it was ok to be obliviated... But i disgress. What i said in my review that worried me more than your divergence fril canon is the fact harry doesn't seem to realise that acting one way makes it easier and easier to be corrupted, and that friends are not fickles, but failsafes... Harry doesn't consider at all the possibility of his corruption, wich is a mistake. i was careful about that at his age. oh well...

 

Another great chapter. Agree with every decision made here, from the sorting, over characterisation of various kids and Harry's general level-headed conduct, to his solution for Hermione.

BTW, you don't need justify yourself neither to us at DLP (about Harry not blowing Hogwarts up), neither to fangirls at FFN (for not putting Harry in Gryffindor and making him into Ginny's whipping boy). It's your story, just follow your own characterisation in logical maner and you'll do fine...

 

Everyone's entitled to their opinion and so here's mine. From the beginning of the story, we see Harry having to live through a lot of crap including abuse from the Dursley's. Through his experiences he's learned to do what it takes to keep those he cares for safe, and that loose ends may come and bite your ass, hence his having to obliviate Hermione. I also don't see the point of having to ask her for her permission before the act as it would not fit his character (He's ' as ruthless as Salazar...') and neither would it be of any use to so if he is already commited to do the deed anyway.

Hence i respectfully diasgree with you arkeus

ON ANOTHER NOTE: I have to commend the author for a story well done as well as ip82 for another deserving addition to the DLP archive of recomended fics.

 

thanks ofr saying it so nicely
oh, and the story doesn't say anything about being ruthless iirc... and if you rememeber, the last time he did what he "had to do", jack was the one who made harry promise not to take the choice into his hands: you no longer can say you respect people if you do that. Hence why i would have liked harry to have this discussion with hermione. Of course, he did have it with row, wich makes it less annoying.

 

Point conceded.

 

the problem with asking Hermione wether she agrees to be obliviated or not, is that it makes the job that much more invasive/difficult. By taking the decision in his hands he makes certain that the obliviation would bi minor. Not to mention that having someone as inquisitive as Hermione know about his abilities is not a thing this Harry will like - I wouldn't in his place.

 

But it makes thing easier, if it works out: does harry really think that someone as brilliant and inquisitive would not realise what is happening again? and again? you can obliviate one only so many times before the person realise that something is going on. After all, *even ginny* knew something was off in cos. of course, tom was rather bad at obliviation, but hermione is so much more of a problem solver...

 

oh i understand that about the "blank", that is just the problem. harry, it seems, is good enough to change her memories instead of blocking them like is implied in canon (voldy was able to break through crouch's memory charm). I am confident enough in harry's ability that it doesn't mess with her mind like it did with lockhart or bertha jorkins. But ther are lots of details that will make hermione see harry for what he is. and harry won't be able to obliviate all those streaming thoughts without doing major damage. So we are going to see harry either being ruthless and wiping out hermione's ability to think unrestrained, or...
and memory charm aren't wiping, they are blocking...so if hermione has reason to suspect something is not right, she may go through enough effort to remove those blocks, and it could cause problems for harry. Sometimes the easier solution isn't that easy.

But you are right, asking her permission would have been kinda hard. Sorry about that.

 

It was a good read. The only thing that bugged me was that he memory charmed her at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. Think about it. First off he is a slytherin sitting at the table. He is also the newest gossip magnet. For some one that paranoid, it seems out of place that he would do something like that in a public place. It would have been better to have her "show him the library" or something. He seems fanatic about protecting his ability to do Wandless magic, but he performs some on Hermione's head in public. Refresh my memory, but didn't Row's friends find out she could do wandless magic earlier in the story. I'd have to go back and check.

Jim

 

Well he did it silently, wandlessly and without flash or any other vissible indication. No one could ever guess that he performed magic by just looking at him. Not to mention that doing it in Great Hall is a great alibi.

I think that wandless charms like Levitation (which Row can do) aren't THAT uncommon. It's casting wandless curses, like Harry did at Malfoy, is what is unheard of.

 

The latest chapter was great, I loved how Harry said no to detention

 

ip is right about the wandless magic. You're right that Row's friends found out she could do small levitations wandlessly, and they were amazed. What Harry needs to hide is the fact that he can do any magic wandless, since it's completely unheard for a fully grown wizard, much less a 13 year old. For the sake of the story, advanced wandless magic like curses are thought to be impossible for anyone, even somebody like Dumbledore.

On the obliviating of Hermione, you can probably tell that he seemed to use a mix of legilimency and the memory charm, so again he was very careful to get the result he wanted. I tried to show in the messenger conversation that he'd practiced memory charms before and wasn't afraid of messing up. As for asking her for permission, it doesn't really fit, since he'd do it even if she said no, and therefore its just an added risk. This is not going to be a dark/evil Harry fic, but one of the things Harry will have to learn is how to interact with others, and he will have to deal with the responsibility that comes with being powerful. Right now, Harry represents what one of my friends refers to as the "take it to the streets" mentality, meaning that he has the confidence to act as he does because he knows that if push comes to shove he can always beat the hell out you. His strength is his security, and while this mindset is realistic for who he is (and fun to write), eventually it will be counter-productive, and that's something he's going to have to deal with.

On a completely different note, I'm almost done with chapter 14 and there are a couple scenes I'm worried are slightly out of character, so I'm thinking about posting my concerns along with the rough draft in the work by author section to get a second opinion. If I do, I'll let this thread know.

-the Jack

 

Agreed 100%. Don't justify yourself, especially with something as trivial as a sorting.

You know this is the first time in a long time that I actually didn't moan when Harry was put in Slytherin. In fact it felt very right, very much like one of Shezza's fic with the 'heierachy' thing going on. I'm salivating just thinking of the prospect of future encounters. You hit the nail in the head with this chapter.

I liked the messenger thing there, it reminded me of modern instant messengers and I'm sure people will start to use that in their fics. It was very comfortable to read that bit especially, I hope there's more of it.

I like how Ron isn't Malfoy with red hair. I breathed a sigh of relief but still...it's just I don't think he'd be a leader if it weren't for Harry in canon. He seemed a bit leader-ish in that scene.

Anyway, well done on a very good chapter. Keep 'em coming.

 

Personally, I'm not so thrilled with the messanger, although it's not actually bad either. It's just that the way they are speaking, it sometimes seems like they are talking over telephone or chatting on internet, not writing letters with quills and ink.

But I guess that's a common problem with almost all fics that include something like this. It's especially notecable in letters from James and Lily that Harry find in his safe - it's often some sort of conversation where those two interupt each other, like on a speakerphone...

 

Lovely chapter. I like the obliviation of Hermione, but we shouldn't discount Hermione just yet either. She was nervous. Knows what she saw. And knows with the way Row and Harry were talking that obliviation is a real possibility. The Hermione sort of thing to do would be to write herself a note in one of her books. And I can see her finding a page in the back of one of her own notebooks detailing what she saw, why she's worried she'll be obliviated, etc... in case she ever reads that page after being obliviated. Bossy know-it-all bucktoothed beaver or not, she's still Hermione.

I'm with IP on the messenger thing too. I feel like anytime you need an author's note in the middle of a chapter, a footnote, or a way to indicate who is talking or if it's parseltongue or some obscure language, then you're not telling the story properly. I know that sounds controlling, old-fashioned, staunchly prim, etc... but just because it can be read and understood, doesn't mean we should write that way. Hell the fic can be written in l33t and be read and understood. Still, I prefer it when authors can tell the stories without those sorts of 'cheat codes'.

 

Just for the record, I wasn't opposed to oblivating Hermione. I still think for "The Harry Potter" now in Slytherin to be at the Gryffindor table touching the side of Hermione's head and looking deeply into her eyes. Well, even if no one can see the magic he just did, he may have other new problems as a result of how that would look. Think about it. Especially from his new housemates in Slytherin. After all Granger is the epitome of uppity mudblood that doesn't know her place, at least in their opinion.

His next problem is if Hermione is keeping a journal. There was a point right after the confrontation with Malfoy where Row openly said whether or not Harry was contemplating Obliviating them. If she included this in a journal entry it may cause her to realize that Harry actually did obliviate her.

He's got a might makes right attitude right now, not that I am complaining. It will be interesting to see what happens if and when he has to face the music for the things he will do in the name of his version of the "Greater Good".

The other drawback to the whole thing is if Snape views Malfoy, Crabbe or Goyle's memories in his pensieve or through Legilmency. Harry seems concerned he would single out Hermione, but what about them?

It's still a quality story. This little part non withstanding, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

I see Nonjon was thinking the same thing I was.

Jim