When I first read this I thought it was a crack-fic then I realized it was serious and stopped reading

 

It was funny when it was still a crackfic and didn't take itself seriously. Unfortunately that only lasted 10 chapters or so, if that.

 

And apparently it didn't occur to him in advance that reviews would be written faster than he could read them.

 

My dislike of the fic is well-known, but it's been a long time since I last commented on it in this thread, so here's my problems with the fic. For the record, I read up to the chapter with the Dementors, and skimmed for a few chapters after that one.

1. The writing isn't good from a technical standpoint. Admittedly, there are few if any errors, which puts it above a lot of FF.Net, but good writing is a lot more than an absence of errors. MoR is full of characters monologuing or having extended tangential conversations. Brevity is a key part of good writing, and MoR lacks it. Both dialogue and narration are closer to a (long-winded) essay than a story.

2. The pacing is terrible. This is probably the worst aspect of the fic, because it's so bad that the story stops being a story and edges towards being a textbook. There's no beginning, middle and end. MoR just goes on and on, meandering here and there but without any overarching plot structure. Some people raise the defence of "it's episodic like a TV show" but no, it isn't. Even episodic TV shows have structure. MoR isn't like Friends, MoR is like an alternate idea of Friends where it's season 6, Ross and Rachel have just got married... but only a week has passed since episode 1.

3. I don't like the magic. This is largely personal, I suppose, but I hate the nerfed temporary transfiguration, the complete reinterpretation of Dementors as representing death rather than depression and decay, the Sorting Hat, soul mechanics and horcruxes, depletable magic etc. It's just so much less romantic than canon, so much more mechanistic. Not to mention a lot less powerful/useful. I'd probably be able to read the whole fic if not for this problem.

4. It doesn't just diverge from canon, it's also disrespectful of canon. While I can accept that fanfic going a different direction with magic is a matter of personal taste, this is something more objective. MoR doesn't just say "Hey, wouldn't it be interesting if Dementors were creatures of death", it says "Dementors must be creatures of death, the idea that they're creatures of decay is ludicrous". In doing so it's making itself out to be a superior, more authoritative version of canon to JKR's. Not only is this insulting the source material, it also means that the story, since it aims at being "the true interpretation of canon", is open to objections of inconsistency with canon events.

5. The kids act like adults. This doesn't need much explanation. The fic fails to make the distinction between intelligence and maturity.

6. It's a mess of different ideas. MoR reminds me of Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart, where the author just shoved every single idea they had into a single fic, regardless of thematic unity or how they relate to the plot. MoR is like an ideas document, a fanfic sandbox.

7. Thematic clash. Voldemort sending his horcrux into space is the perfect example (which is also an example of bad pacing, in that you've basically set up a villain who can never be defeated). Is it logical? Yes. Does it fit with the feel of the HP universe? No. There's a reason why wizards haven't gone to space despite having all the magic you'd need to do so, and that's the simple fact that combining space travel with a quasi-medieval-Victorian society is the literary equivalent of scratching your nails down a blackboard.

If I wanted an easy introduction to an assorted collection of ideas from cognitive science, computer science, psychology and decision theory, and I was too lazy to read a textbook that covered the material explicitly, then MoR would be the perfect material for me to read. But if I want to read a story, then I'm much better off elsewhere.

3/5

 

It's not that big of a deal, he could just skip reading everything and release both endings.

 

Assuming that he even has 2 endings, which I doubt. By creating the perfect villain, LW wrote himself into a corner. Voldemort has every advantage possible and is just a superior version of Harry (his younger self, essentially) in every way that matters in this situation.

The fact that Harry has his wand counts for practically nothing, given Voldemort's precise instructions to Death Eaters. Harry can't save himself by magic or any other form of combat, everyone else present is better trained and likely faster with a wand. Harry can't suddenly get an upgrade to his skills (one of the rules). Obviously, the only way is to use his vaunted rationality, even though this breaks one of the rules (Voldemort cannot be persuaded).

This is isn't even a riddle. The only answer is Harry's death. If a good ending appears, it will be possible to poke holes in it and show which of his own rules LW broke to achieve it. And of course, he will be deaf to criticism.

 

I'm fairly sure that this fic was my entry drug to fanfiction (Thanks TVTropes). Saying that, I never was able to care enough to finish it. I never even got more than a third of the way through it.

The beginning is fairly funny, smart and occasionally educational. The rest (that I read) reads like the author is writing a love letter to themselves.

If it was a crack fic it would be good, but it's not a crack fic. It tries to take itself much too seriously and it spends far too much time harping on about the scientific method or 'rationalism'. The fact that it treats 'rationalism' as if it's a complete solution to the entire area of ethical philosophy was a continual annoyance to me.

Ultimately it's not 5/5 (because I didn't finish it) and it's not 4/5 (because I didn't even want to finish it). It's not 1/5 (because it has words and sentences and so on) and it's not 2/5 (because it did still keep me reading a pretty long time).

So that leaves 3/5.

There needs to be more numbers between 2 and 4.

 

Pretty much what i think about it sofar.

 

Chapter 114 (and 115, I think?) up. Contains the incantation "Stuporfy". Have not read further.
Edit: Decided to read the rest (about 5 short paragraphs) of the chapter, it's a modified stunner so not just a misspelling of "stupefy". Still sounds stupid to me, but whatever.

 

Spoiler

Transfiguring a nanotube from the material of the wand and levitating it precisely around the DEs necks and Voldemorts hands simultaneously. Which is exactly what I said would happen. Harry gets a sudden skill boost, breaking one of LW's own rules.

We all knew it was coming.

 

Spoiler

It's arguable how much of a skill boost it was. We have seen Hermione transfigure nanotubes, and since then Harry has surpassed her in Transfiguration. We have also seen Harry practice Transfiguration in stressful conditions, as well as practice how to shape and form the result of the transfiguration. So, all the elements are there, this scene just brought them all together. The question then becomes how tough of an effort this was, given all the knowledge Harry was preciously established to have.

 

Spoiler

I don't think he levitated anything. He used transfiguration to shape the tube into loops, while it stayed attached to his wand.

 

Stuporfy was foreshadowed, and even showed up in a lot of solutions.

 

Can someone explain to me why Harry was allowed his wand?

 

Because Yudkowsky couldn't think of another way for Harry to win.
That's it. There is no other reason.

 

Wait wait wait... he decapitated them all simultaneously with transfigured nanotubes? Did I get that right....

 

Republic: Because for all that Voldemort was supposed to be a smart villain, LW wouldn't have been able to have Harry defeat him without his wand, so Voldemort, despite how he successfully outsmarted everyone in Hogwarts for a year, was arbitrarily forced to make a stupid mistake like that.

Rubicon and Daidalos: I suppose that could be right. Haven't considered that. Though the above point is valid, I think.

 

Yudkowsky's explanation about the wand:

Spoiler

Based on the last paragraph, sounds like he knows it's not a great explanation. Maybe he'll go back and edit the chapter at some point.

 

Comparing the wand to his glasses is outright retarded.

Edit: There is a world of difference between the glasses and a wizard's wand. Yes, the glasses could potentially contain a trick (and Voldemort would indeed be stupid to leave Harry with them since he went to the effort of stripping him naked) but his actual wand? The only way for Harry to directly cast magic?

No shit.

 

"If Harry's glasses had contained something interesting instead, people would be saying, Take away the glasses."

Those people would have had a point, too.